1. says

    The best of all possible eyeglasses are the lenses we already have in our eyeballs. Ideally, they adjust focal length when appropriate without our even having to think about it, and they don’t require any breakable external devices, uncomfortable cornea-contacting plastics or messy laser surgeries. The fact that they fail so often is pretty damning evidence that this is not in fact the best of all possible worlds. As is pretty much everything else in existence.

    Speaking of which, I still can’t quite wrap my mind around the ending of Candide. It seems a little too pessimistic, even for a dyed-in-the-wool pessimist like me.

  2. Theo Bromine says

    When I first saw this, I thought it was going to be about bionic fish – along the lines of adding spines to sticklebacks (or perhaps something PZ might to do enhance a danio…)

    As for pierced glasses, I am somewhat put off by the idea of “permanently” affixing something that large and extensive that is subject to getting hit or caught by stationary objects while I am moving, or moving objects while I am stationary (hair (mine or someone else’s), hats, passing trees, etc)

  3. NelC says

    Eh, I don’t know if you have trouble with things hitting your specs while you’re wearing them, Theo, but I tend to find that they’re more likely to get damaged when I’m not wearing mine. Trampled at discos, chewed by babies, just plain sat on. I find that the wetware for protecting one’s eyes works just fine for protecting glasses.

    That said, a gust of wind once blew a wasp behind one of my lenses, which stung me in the cheek before I could release it. But that could as easily have happened with a piercing-mounted pair.

  4. Left_Wing_Fox says

    Hey cool!

    I was toying this idea a while back, trying to figure out how a dog would wear glasses. It came down to prescription goggles, a Star Wars-like “Over the head” design which I saw only once, or that sort of piercing through the muzzle.

    I was partly wondering if the other side would have to be clipped to eyebrow piercings to keep them in place, but I guess not.

  5. lt.kizhe says

    Theo doesn’t usually wear lenses (one of the lucky people who didn’t go myopic at adolescence, and only needs close-up glasses). But as a regular wearer, I’ll echo the concern about having them ripped off — I’d want an engineered failure point in the mounting, which would let go before the pain threshold of the nose was reached (that, and I’m squeamish re piercings in the first place). My other problem with the idea is that I haven’t yet found a single pair of lenses that do the job for me under all conditions — I own two pairs of bi-focals, one distance-only pair (for long drives), and I use my naked eyes for the computer. And wearing the wrong optics for the situation drives me nuts.

  6. MikeM says

    Ouch!, is right.

    I do a lot of outdoors stuff, including cycling, skiing, or even mowing the lawn. In the bike bike crashes I’ve had, my cycling glasses have been damaged or destroyed once or twice. While mowing the lawn, I’ve had them flung off by branches. Also in riding, I get allergies at certain times of year, and my instinct is to pull off the glasses and rub my eyes to “get the red out”; I don’t think I could overcome that instict, nor would I want to.

    Hiking, cycling, walking, skiing, mowing… This is basically the worst idea possible for me.

    But, my biggest problem is still this: Those are some hideous brackets.

    How do these people take their glasses off to shower? With a screwdriver??

  7. says


    Related: The optimists believe we live in the best of all possible worlds. Us pessimists are afraid the optimists are right.

    LM Wanderer

  8. PaulC says

    I too was disappointed to find that “spectacle perch” was not a kind of fish.

    I’m not sure why people find this business of eyeglass attachment so fascinating. I saw the story in Yahoo science headlines and a co-worker emailed about it later. It’s very mildly amusing, but not a major advance of any kind.

  9. quork says

    In the news: Lloyd Bentsen is dead

    Bentsen is best known for his vice presidential debate with Dan “Potatoe” Quayle, in which Quayle compared himself to JFK and Bentsen responded: “Senator, I knew Jack Kennedy. I served with Jack Kennedy. Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine. Senator, you’re no Jack Kennedy.

    In those debates, Quayle confused the ozone hole with global warming, but no blogs existed at the time so he didn’t receive appropriate amounts of criticism for his ignorance.

  10. quork says

    Related: The optimists believe we live in the best of all possible worlds. Us pessimists are afraid the optimists are right.

    But what do the optometrists believe?

  11. HP says

    This is interesting. Google reveals that the spectacle perch is not a fish at all; it is type of bird.

    Now to google “tit mouse.”

  12. Carlie says

    Eeeeeeek! Given that I tend to smush my face in my pillow when I sleep, that would be ouch city for me, whether the lenses are detachable from the brackets or not. Youch. And what about clip-on sunglasses? I would think the tension from those would hurt….

  13. Steve says

    ‘My metaphysico-theologo-cosmolonigology is all discombobulated’

    You should put that on a t-shirt :-)