The Auction

What’s for sale?  Everything.  Tvngp would sell Texas to Mexico for 47 pesos.  I guess conservatives just love a white thief, even when it’s their own ass getting jacked.  Let’s play Orngdolph Shitler for a minute and call all the leaders of the world to Meryl Oggo to sell amurriKKKa’s gullible gluteus out, one hank of meat at a time.  Bidding is open!

Our land.  A ton of it is already owned by foreign investors, but let’s start forking over government land as well.  Six Flags Over Yellowstone, a subsidiary of Volkswagen-Daimler-Yamaha.

The Social Security Administration.  Home boy tried to nix the social security tax during his last year in office, which I don’t quite understand.  It’s meant to pay for this program, but as Dubya discovered in the naughts, you can also pillage it for other purposes with a rubber stamp congress of warhawking shitlords.  With this tax in place, when it’s not getting robbed for other things, the agency can actually make money.  That means it has value, which means somebody might be down to buy it.  The money that’s meant to keep you from subsisting on cat food when you’re too old to work, how would you like that turned into a hedge fund run by transnational casino owners?

Our nuclear power plants.  China owns a lot of US Treasury bonds, time to cash in those chips.  This one would amuse me so very much.

Our prisoners.  With private prisons already being a thing, some might already be owned by international corporations.  Reduce infrastructure costs and make it official.  Essentially if you get caught for jaywalking, you can be sold into slavery abroad.

The United States Marine Corps.  Army is land, Navy is sea, Air Force is air, Marine Corp is … what?  I guess alchemically they’d be fire, but that’s making them out to be cooler than they should be.  At any rate, they don’t make much sense to me conceptually, so you know damn well the Leather Lich doesn’t get it.  Sold!  I’d like to see what Denmark could do with a Marine Corp.  Maybe annex Yorkshire?

Our dignity as a sovereign nation.  Psych, he can’t sell this because we threw that in the garbage when we elected a linty ballsack as god-emperor.

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DEIteenth

When Biden was in office, the house and senate were dominated by rethugs, one way or another, right?  It felt like it, whatever the makeup of those bodies.  Somehow Juneteenth was made into the law of the land.  I assumed it was by executive action, but no, except insofar as the vice president was the tie-breaking vote.  Federal holidays have to be approved by the legislature.  Thank you, Mrs. Harris.  Surely, this holiday is abhorrent to those people who wistfully pine for the days when chattel slavery wasn’t restricted to the prison system.

In fact, does it fit their nebulous definition of evil wicked horrible DEI?  Does that mean it must be expunged?  But it was passed into law by the legislature, and would need to be repealed through the shit-flinging simian action of those twin asshole repositories.  Surely they won’t get that done in time for the occasion tomorrow.  What then?

I wonder that shitler might use an executive order to try to rename it “Orange Americans Day.”  Or just leave the day intact but use its existence to add insult to some other injurious bullshit.  Of particular relevance, he could do something to expand the horrors of the prison industrial complex.  I’m composing this post on the 16th.  Let’s see what has come to pass by the time it comes out of queue…

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When the Shit Goes Down

Said Cypress Hill, when the shit goes down, you better be ready.  Today is that big No Kings biz, which shitler has promised to respond to with brute force, while he’s doing Kim Jong Il cosplay in a monument to Rome built by slaves.  Meanwhile, Israel has expressed its desire to turn the whole middle east into a smoking puddle of blood, Pakistan and India are still nuclear powers skirmishing as well, and Russia is still trying to turn Ukraine into Russia Junior with more mutilated human remains inside.

If you’re in a directly impacted part of the world, my condolences.  That feels like the emptiest of gestures.  I can’t throw away my life to save yours, and that feels like the only gesture that would have any meaning, when you’re looking at people whose lives have been chucked in the meatgrinder of political greed and bloodlust.  May all the responsible world leaders magically develop consciences tomorrow and die from the agony of guilt.

For the rest of us, we’re all weighing the risks coming our ways, tho they pale in comparison to yours, and thinking of what we will do, what we can do.  Within that, it’s important to keep a sense of perspective.  For much of the world, life goes on, and we’re obliged to our families and friends, to those who depend on us, to keep going on as well.  To those who can fight, long live the fighters.  To the rest of us?

Try to remember you’re still shopping for groceries, paying your bills, going to work, feeding your pets, watering your plants.  Stay with us.  Don’t give up.  For 99.9% of you, the shit is not imminent.  Your world will still be there next week, regardless of what happens now.  Much love.  See you around!

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Diminishing America

Saw another random grandma with some bullshit-ass “USA love it or leave it” t-shirt, but punchier than usual.  She has to feel surrounded and backed up against a wall by libs, here in a very blue state.  Good.  But it got me reflecting on the ways tvfkp is Making America Tiny Again – and that nazis like this lady actually want to see this happen.  Weirdly, we are somewhat in agreement about that?  Allow me to explain…

Her vision of this is in the Try That in a Small Town song, and similar sentiments.  The USA would be better off if no big cities existed, if it was an endless string of farms and little white houses with small-minded white people in them.  All the messicans and faggots and queers and hindus and mooslims and jews and natives and chinamen and darkies can be forcibly relocated to canada or mexico or hell ASAP.  This will by definition be a country with less power in the world, a place defined by smallness, surrounded by machinegun turrets and razorwire.  Speak English or die.  This vision is of course impossible, and maybe she recognizes that, viewing it as aspirational.  Any atrocities committed in pursuit of the dream are noble.

My vision is of a place where conservative beliefs are shamed for the nazism they are, back into the muttered shit-talk of the worst white people you know instead of the broad coalition of screaming freaks you see in charge of everything now, mainstream society as some kinda blando liberal mush that isn’t good enough but at least isn’t actively smoking the biosphere like a cigarette and ensuring we are all as miserable, hateful, and petty as possible on the way down.  I know, I dream small.  Like to keep my hopes in the dimension of what feels possible, so I am not too disappointed.  This doesn’t feel super likely, but does feel at least sorta remotely like.. maybe?  In my vision, one aspect of the damage caused by shitler persists – we are no longer the economy on which the world depends, because they learned we are not dependable.  The USA is forced by this humbling to play ball, to negotiate on equal footing with other nations and power blocs – to become less belligerent than it has ever been in its existence.

From this inferior place, the second rate status we so clearly deserve, we can’t help but acknowledge the reality that we are only one nation out of many, that we are part of the world and that part isn’t the axis.  (deathlol)  And this would open the door to other places coming into their own – the so-called third world, the global south, finally having a shot at setting their own terms and protecting themselves from the depredations of colonial powers and empires like ours.

Basically, an end to the USA as an empire.  And that is something she’d genuinely agree with.  She doesn’t want us to be trading with foreign powers.  She really would prefer to buy garbage manufactured in the USA.  She really won’t like what that costs, at first, but she could get used to it, especially if it helps maintain the integrity of the fortress.  Nobody in and, once the purges are done, nobody out.  Every activity our nation engages in overseas seems so pointless to her.  Charity, trade, diplomacy.  Why you gotta be out talkin’ to undesirables like that?  Take care of yer own!

I had no idea shitler was going to do something I agree with.  And he’s not going about it in a way I’d ever like to see.  But the end state, where the empire has properly imploded?  Where we’re stuck on our own shitbird equivalent of Brexit Island?  Where nobody in any other nation looks upon us as something to aspire toward?  A world in which the harm we do can never be so terrible that it threatens everybody else?

I’m into that.  I care about other people in the world too much to want us large and in charge.  Make America Smol Again, with your tiny tiny hands.  God damn, I would love to see a peaceful and prosperous Africa so much it makes my soul hurt.

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Disability Criteria

There’s a tension in all countries with the resources to have social benefits, between the idea everybody should have to bust their hump just for the right to be alive, and the idea simply being alive entitles you to a certain bare minimum standard of life.  Most people aren’t going to believe fully in either of those extremes, but fall somewhere in the middle.  Being far closer to the latter than the former, I can feel resentful toward those responsible for gatekeeping social benefits.  Less the bureaucrat at the crowded dilapidated office full of squalling babies and unfortunate-smelling people talking to themselves, than toward the politicians who grandstand on arbitrary beliefs about how this should be done, and vow to stick it to the freeloaders when they get elected.

I got curious and looked at how the US Social Security Administration decides whether you’re disabled enough to receive benefits.  Right up front there’s a line drawn on the basis of whether you busted your hump enough.  There are two different disability programs administered by that agency.  The one they talk about at the link is Social Security Disability, and to qualify for that you need a certain minimum amount of recent work history.

Worked hard for twenty years and then had a slow decline in health which kept you from knowing you needed to apply for disability until you lost “insured” status?  Fuck off.  Worked hard at unpaid labor like raising children?  Fuck off.  Never able to work in the first place because you’re too mentally ill to function?  Fuck off.  Supported a family business by working unpaid for years?  Fuck off.  The disability benefit these people might qualify for is called Supplemental Security Income, which is a vastly more restrictive, petty, cruel, wildly inadequate, and ruthlessly policed benefit.  I saw a post once, roughly “Did somebody scam SSI into giving them a benefit they didn’t deserve?  Good for them.  They just pulled off the most elaborate demeaning and time-consuming con ever, for a benefit that is not enough to survive on anywhere.”

SSI is that benefit you hear about where you lose it if you get married, and since your eligibility for Medicaid (need-based health insurance) in most states is tied to eligibility for SSI, you also lose medical care.  Strictly speaking, marriage doesn’t always cut off SSI altogether.  Depends on how much money your spouse makes, how many kids you have, etc.  I guarantee that math is at least as cruel and petty as you’re imagining.  And if two people who get SSI get married?  Both of them have their SSI significantly reduced, on the assumption their pooled resources make up the difference.  That might be true if SSI was more than $967 in most states, but it isn’t.  Double that and you’d still be living in wretched conditions, with rent as high as it is these days.

Back to SSDI, Social Security Disability.  Not as many restrictions, but you gotta understand them well.  People often get bounced from that program with a retroactive effective date, making it so they not only have no benefits but also suddenly owe the government like fifty to a hundred thousand dollars – potentially subject to the Treasury Offset Program which can jack your tax refund and any other money the government might owe to you, as well as garnish your wages if you manage to work through the pain.  As much as SSDI is more generous than SSI, it still averages less than the cost of rent in most places – while still just high enough to keep you from qualifying for Medicaid or food stamps!  That sweet spot where you can be thrown to the wolves in other ways.

I meant to be talking about the criteria.  Word on the street is that regardless of what’s happening, you are always denied the first time you apply for disability.  Is that true?  I don’t know.  But even getting to that decision – possibly a denial – SSA says takes an average of 230 days currently.  I’ve heard of it taking much longer than that as well.  The appeal process commonly stretches things out to two years, five years, or even more.

What is a disability?  A condition that is expected to last a year or longer or result in death, that prevents you from engaging in “substantial gainful activity.”  There’s a dollar figure on that – currently $1620 per month.  Higher than the cost of a one bedroom apartment in most of the USA, you say?  Yes indeed.  Considering how long it takes to get a decision, better make sure you’re not making more than the SGA figure during the application process, or you’ll get denied on those grounds.  But hey, if it looks like you’re intentionally limiting the amount of work that you’re doing to stay under that figure, does that mean you are actually capable of making more?  Might still get denied, depending on who’s making the final decision and their own personal biases.  Better to have a couch you can surf for the years it can take to get approved, rather than risk working.

Let’s say you have Down’s Syndrome but managed to get a part time gig and have been making a lil money while also drawing SSI.  Consider your paycheck halved basically, because for every two dollars you make over $65 bucks, one dollar comes out of your SSI.  But you’re also earning your way toward insured status for Social Security Disability by earning taxed wages.  Problem.  A requirement of SSI is that you have to apply for any Social Security type benefit you could possibly receive.  Get SSDI and all but twenty dollars of it count against your SSI amount.  SSI goes away, so does your Medicaid – and you don’t get on Medicare until you’ve been on SSDI for two years, so hope you don’t need medical help in the meanwhile.  That’s for “the Healthcare Marketplace” aka Obamacare, which is not great.  Not that any of it is great in this motherfuckin country, but even so, the difference between the cost of meds on Medicaid vs. Marketplace can be the difference between affording them or rationing them or just going without.

What happens when you get old?  The Social Security Administration must never have heard of intersectionality because disabled old people get no special consideration at all in the amount of money or medical coverage they receive.  Benefits are on the basis of age or disability, not both at the same time.

Of course, some people have a disability that leads to them being unable to face the withering scrutiny of being considered for a disability benefit in the first place, no matter how meager that benefit is, so those people must do without altogether.  This is the sort of thing that would be covered by a UBI program and massive expansion of rent control or low income housing, but eh…  We’re living in the world we’re living in, for now.

The internet is drowning in misinformation and no small amount of that is specifically about Social Security benefits – clickbait to get sad desperate people to look at shitty advertisements.  No, there is no plan to increase this or make any of these benefits at all less cruel and pathetic.  There’s often legislation proposing such, dying slowly in congressional committees year on year.

And many of the people who need these programs the most were told that firing Mexicans into the sun would save the government so much money that they could be showered with love and beneficence.  They bought that, they voted for corporate fascism, which aims to break these programs down to rubble and replace them with the kind of corporate schemes that have given us the worst healthcare in the developed world*.  Shit makes me tired.

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*I still can scarcely believe how evil UHC is, how the supposed “death panels” an industry shill ass-pulled against obamacare are actually a real life motherfucking existing thing, under capitalist medicine.  Buck buck buck.

Curtail Executive Power or Else

Obama should have done it.  Biden should have done it.  In Clinton’s time this would have been a little harder to see coming, but sharp people were already predicting some flavor of it.  If the dems ever gain power again, the hindsight should be bright as day.  They need to limit the powers of the president.  The executive branch in the USA has too much power, and it has caused direct, possibly irreparable harm to our standing in the world.

In a sense, who cares about our standing in the world?  We deserve to be taken down a notch or several.  It’s a market adjustment that is very long overdue.  But it’s going to be painful and ruinous to people all around the world, so perhaps best avoided?  Accepting this shituation is accelerationism, not my favorite flavor of change.

The issue is stability.  You’d think a dictator’s hand on the tiller would stabilize the country’s institutions, but that’s not how this is playing out.  Stability is the source of value in our treasury bonds.  Lose that stability, lose value, lose bargaining power, and there you are.

The system of checks and balances that we all learn about in elementary school, that thing that was supposed to make us so much cooler than other countries?  That was the stabilizer.  The oligarchs could play tennis in the legislature and pass the baton to the other guys every four to eight years, the supreme court could go one way or the other on any issue at any time.  Through this all, nothing truly radical could ever be accomplished.

That sucks when you want things to be radically better, but at least it keeps things from getting radically worse – when it’s working right.  If the democrats want to be moderate and responsible and not be radical and not rock boats, they should go for that moderation radically.  A Constitutional crisis calls for a Constitutional Amendment or several.  We had a bill of rights, how about now a Bill of Liberty, to save us from democratically elected dictatorship?

They will need to angle desperately to fight any vote suppression tactics in preparation for the outside possibility a fair-esque election can happen in two years, but they also need to have an agenda locked and loaded, ready to go, to force checks and balances back into government.  That executive power can be used to undermine itself at first, through careful use of executive orders, but it absolutely must be relinquished as soon as humanly possible, and locked out of future hands.

Tvfnp will pocket veto and otherwise stymie any legislation to that effect, but keep up the pressure and see what’s possible a few years after that, in the presidential election.  If, by some fucking miracle, dems get control of this trash fire again, it’s time to lock it down so this disaster can never happen again.  The next democratic president, hope to hell it’s four years from now, needs to gut their own power.  It’s a moral imperative, it’s crucial for the US to continue to have anything resembling the prosperous status quo it’s enjoyed for a hundred years.

Personally, motherfuck our prosperity.  Time for everybody in the world to come up and get a piece of our loser asses.  But dems, if you’re listening?  If you ever get another chance to do this?  Curtail executive power in any way you can.

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Postmodernism Eating Itself

Karl Popper’s Paradox of Tolerance: If a society tolerates all types of speech and political expression it will be challenged and subverted by those who wish to suppress freedom and tolerance.  In order to defend the tolerance of a society, one must be intolerant of intolerance.  If I’m reading the article right, he said that while outlawing intolerant speech would be undesirable, rational discourse should be used to help maintain the popular dominance of tolerant principles – that intolerance defends itself by suppressing rational discussion.  But that at the end of the day, a tolerant society must reserve the right to say a dangerous enough expression of intolerance is illegal and can be suppressed.  I expect the way that was written into post-WWII German law would sit well with him, whether the actual application of those laws would or not.

I’m not here to discuss the plus and minus or the exact nature of how to best adjudicate the tolerance v intolerance in an ideal society.  Taking the paradox only on its face but not going all the way to the conclusion he offers.  And having done that, I want to look at a phenomenon affecting modern politics that can serve as an example of the paradox in action.

The current flavor of fascism is a direct result of the very postmodernism that it postures against.  There are other factors and influences, especially the “therapy culture” that emerged in the boomer generation, but in the course of my life, this is the one I’ve seen time and again.  The tolerance that was used to justify this intolerance was grounded in postmodern values.

Postmodernism has many aspects, but I’m going to use the broadest version here.  Modernism was the idea there are right ways to do things, truths that can be discovered and known.  Postmodernism was about uncertainty, vagueness, and especially the idea there are multiple “ways of knowing” – functionally, that opinions can be as valid a view of reality as facts.  The cry of the postmodern fascist, when they have lost the bully pulpit and know they’ve lost the argument as well, is a Lebowksian, “That’s just, like, your opinion, maaan.”

The Sokal hoax was, on its face, convincing enough.  Given that Sokal himself is part of that raft of neo-nazis and enablers in Epstein Pal Krauss’s new book, I suspect there are valid arguments that his stunt was bullshit from go.  It was meant to illustrate that postmodernism bad, reality is in facts and concrete things.  And yet the Krauss cohort is a clown car of people who habitually and fiercely ignore good strong science that refutes their biases, and that use flimsy and handwavey science to support what they want to believe.  “Facts don’t care about your feelings” cries lil Benny Shaps on monday, “Your intolerance hurts my feelings” on tuesday.

Faux News popularized opinion-as-reality.  It’s possible to cherry pick reportage of factual things to support ideological positions, but it’s so much easier to spew propaganda when you realize “somebody said a thing” can be “news.”  Then it’s Editorial Page: the Ostensible News Network.  You can’t say anything anybody says is wrong, because that’s just, like, their opinion, man.  I’m using my freedom of speech! You hates freedom?

I’ve heard this play out so so so many times at the street level.  In my high school classrooms in 1993, in the arguments of randos on buses, in arguments with people I know.  Person expresses factually wrong idea, is shown to be wrong, and says it’s an opinion, or even cites the first amendment.  Maybe I’m wrong, but it feels to me like a natural extension of the idea that all opinions about truth have some validity – an essential postmodern idea, embraced by the masses without ever acknowledging the source.

There were variations on this that predated my youth, but based on the attitudes of teachers and adults and opinion-havers of the world as I observed back then, it seems to me that it was an idea whose promotion began with 1960s mysticism, developed into therapy culture in the 1970s, and stayed with us in that form ever since.  Liberal schoolteachers were big fans of the idea, trying to encourage kids to debate because that’ll make us smorter.  I got smortified off having to hear what skinhead Ron thinks about the just society.

The funny thing is, I don’t even think the idea is wholly lacking in validity, nor is postmodernism itself as a larger package deal.  We’re all so powerfully influenced by our cultural environment and personal situations that assumptions about the nature of any given phenomenon can seem like Objective Truth when they are no such thing.  And yet, those feelings and perceptions have a power that creates a sort of reality, a sort of truth, which is in some ways the only truth we can truly apprehend.  Agnostic shit.

But the postmodern justification of and promotion of fascism shows the weakness of this liberal idea, employing it to ultimately work against itself.  Fascist propaganda was just opinions which are all valid, until fascists won control of the media, the government, the church, big business, etc etc.  At that point, all opinions are no longer valid.  Fascist propaganda is “fact” – and fascist control of science publication and journalism means there is no official source you can point to that isn’t soon to express only the facts that the Aeternal Reich wants you to see.

It’s sad how George Orwell, Karl Popper, and any number of other intellectuals going back to the dawn of the written language can call these things out, illuminate them so clearly and simply a child could understand them, and yet collectively we fall for the trick unto the end of (our) time.  Fascists working against education is certainly part of that, but there is a flaw in the human animal that is doing no small amount of the work for them.

We’re not as smart as we like to think we are.  When you see the fancy talking heads spouting big words in defense of callow bigotry, using lofty language to make it seem like black is white, bad is good, up is down…  You’re seeing smart people outsmarting themselves.  The flaws in their thinking are obvious as all hell to you and I, but they are fucking impervious to truth.

Reality is what we make it and we are what that reality makes us.  The vast majority of this country’s media is painting the picture of reality the Kochs and the Murdochs and Muskerbergs want people to see.  It’s everything around them.  They are swimming in hate speech and propaganda nonstop, all day all night, cradle to the grave.  It used to just be radio, TV, and newspapers.  Now it’s algorithms in social media sorting people into camps that can be marketed to more effectively, fueling division and strife, and even genocide if it makes the page views go up, makes money for the shareholders.

As much as they’re my hated enemies, I don’t blame US conservatives for having shit ideas about basically everything.  It’s the world as they know it.  A perversion of liberal principles, unashamedly hypocritical.  Contradictions don’t mean a thing, because this stuff thrives on goldfish memories.  The human animal is not as smart as we’ve wanted it to be – as every flavor of modernism supposed we would one day be able to achieve.

But being unintelligent does not mean you deserve to be misled.  Blaming fools for being fooled is letting the foolers off the hook, and in this situation, those foolers are just the worst motherfuckers in human history.  Hook their fucking asses.  I don’t know that we can ever really beat this type of shit, but I do know we have to keep trying in any way we’re able for as long as we can.

If the world goes nasty, you owe it to yourself and the people you care about to make your own piece of that world as nice as possible.  Just sucks knowing what you’re up against in that fight.  But power on my people.  I love you.

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Ruining Lives for Fun and Profit

note:  my RP by comment is still going and open for two more players.  see this post.

Debt is a motherfucker.  Our society is usurious as all hell, stealing from the education system to leave people innumerate and cutting so much slack to “legitimate” businesses that they all degenerate into con jobs and pyramid schemes, abusing people’s lack of savvy to run up egregious debts on them, run them ragged for life on the debt treadmill.  It’s not sustainable; the subprime mortgage scandal was caused by lending imprudently, the idea you could keep the bullshit rolling on stone blood forever.

I myself was a victim of “legitimate” businesses selling debt on lies.  It was student debt, racked up to obscene amounts through interest I was never ever going to be able to pay off.  While Shitler and his Shitbirds have taken a wrecking ball to student loan forgiveness and income-based repayment programs, as of this moment, my own forgiveness is still safe because it was part of a court case against various for-profit schools that used misleading material to make us think employment was much more certain and would be much more well-compensated than it actually was.  I’ve got some kind of long-term deferral waiting for the forgiveness to be processed.  Thank fuck, and here’s hoping there doesn’t come an executive order to overturn that court case as part of the Arbeit Macht Frei Act of 2027, to pump up the population of debtor’s prisons.

Many other USians are not so lucky, having been all lined up to get their debts forgiven under Biden policies that were hammered by conservative assholes.  Even a fucking three year old knows that “no backsies’ is sacred.  Don’t tell us we’re getting loans forgiven and then renege.  That’s injustice, motherfuckers.  Anyway, the latest evil evil fuckshit to come from on high is that any student loans in default are being sent to collection agencies.

Have you heard of collection agencies, or are you from one of the hell countries where these things are real?  A business that is incentivized to keep you from paying as long as possible while also abusing you into paying as much as possible, created this creepy system where they make feinting attempts to notify you of the debt for a while, shots across the bow, while running up whatever they thought would be a cool interest rate.  Then they start the harassment, the repossessions, the wage garnishments.

Considering the staggering size student loan debts can run to, this is a recipe for hounding people to suicide or homelessness or other terrible situations and harms.  These motherfuckers are ghouls.  They live in golden palaces and sleep in the down of sacrificial doves, but it’s not enough.  The view from heaven only satisfies if they are looking down on eternal torment in hell.

I am bothered by this because of the certainty that my own loan forgiveness is in their sights, that they’re going to kill it the second they can come up with a way to do so.  But much more than that, I am bothered on behalf of the people who are suffering through this policy right now.  It’s like, I’d be bothered if I might get shot, but not nearly as much as seeing someone else shot in front of me.  That’s how I feel about the victims of this policy.

I had some chipper motherfucker tell me once that Biden’s loan forgiveness programs were buying votes.  Well, who makes for a better world, somebody who buys votes by making lives better or someone who buys votes by making lives end?  But this is what ameriKKKa wanted.  Torment.  Hell.  Because it’s always gonna be someone else’s suffering right?  Never you, no sirree.

It’s cool to see people show up big for protests, but I know those are the people who voted.  And all the bitches who sat it out, they’re driving by oblivious.  Get out of the way, you old hippies with your illegible handmade signs.  I need to get to my third job to toil away the rest of my life because doncha know both sides are exactly the same and things couldn’t possibly be worse under the one the nazis liked so much.

Feeling tired.  Anyway, Shitler keeps making regular people into desperate motherfuckers with nothing to lose, which is exactly the kind of people he needs to be fearing.  I’m glad the fear centers of his brain seem to have been replaced with aluminum amyloids and jelly beans.  I’m glad he won’t see it coming, because it’ll be more likely to land next time.

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Fascism was Never Cool

One of the best / worst moves the nazis ever pulled was recruiting a skilled fashion designer to the cause.  Hugo Boss towers over the history of the world as the unholy shithead that made nazis look cool.  I’m not going to pretend he didn’t, as much as the aesthetic is extremely disgusting to me from when I stand.  You can find stories about how this obsession with form over function resulted in bad clothing causing problems in combat, but that’s a quibble by now.  Even if nonfunctional buttons or unnecessary straps cost a nazi his life once upon a time, the look continues to give the worst people in the world erections.  So mission accomplished.

Aside from that one thing that one time tho?  There is literally nothing cool about fascism.  The ideology is ironically the mentality of the incredibly weak and foolish.  I say ironically because it poses as the mentality of the inherently mas inteligente and musclebound.  Fucking absurd.  Who wants to kneel before some almighty lump of decaying flesh in an expensive suit?  Who needs to be told their place like a good little submissive?  Who believes that tyranny is better for society than distribution of authority to those who should reasonably hold it, like experts in their fields?  Who thinks a con artist is better qualified to make decisions about medicine than a doctor, a bully is better qualified to make decisions about human rights than mental health professionals and ethicists and sociologists and the people whose rights are threatened?

That’s just the philosophy.  This article is about the superficial.  I’m talking about coolness.  You know the ’80s cool guy with the sunglasses?  The lady with all the bangles and the big hair and neon legwarmers?  The deadpan standup comedian with self-effacing charm, cutting down the powerful with the scythe of wit?  The hip kids on the corner always pushing the edge of what people think is acceptable to wear, making the world a more interesting looking place?  The people who invented the zoot suit?  Flappers?  Bobbysoxers?  Rock and rollers?  None of these things can come of a fascist mindset.

There are some people who were legitimately cool, such as cool is, that had flirtations with fascism.  David Bowie famously made that mistake while strung out on cocaine in the ’80s and I imagine got his shit right well before he died.  The artist Romaine Brooks let classism lead her into sympathy for fascists, according to some sources.  These were not shining moments in their lives that anybody looks to with affection, and of course, not moments that had anything to do with why they were ultimately regarded as cool, on the balance of their respective lives.

Fascists steal coolness from other people.  An mp3 that did the rounds back in the file-sharing days was a nazi propagandist antisemitic cover of “Making Whoopee.”  You ever want to hear a nazi jazz band?  I can’t imagine their originals were worth a shit either.  There was a pathetic moment in electronic music when neo-nazis tried to make “fashwave” a thing.  They tried to claim artists who despise them as being part of their shit, and sometimes just literally stole somebody else’s song and spliced in naziness.

A lot of cool comes from black folks.  And who is the most fascist black man making music today?  Ye?  That guy is about as cool as a rusty cybertruck.  That guy is about as cool as a crumpled paper bag full of shit and dead animals.  That guy hasn’t made a song worth a dime in a long-ass time.  Record sales to college republicans don’t count.

I remember when one of the Penny Arcade dudes was being a transphobe and got called out by the Diesel Sweeties guy who said something to the effect of, “hating trans people doesn’t make him cool; it makes him Rush Limbaugh with tattoos.”  Dressing hip while expressing the values of a megachurch is some youth pastor shit.  It’s coolness drag.

And let’s check out the coolness of fascism’s big boys and monkey boys of the moment, shall we?  Tfxnp.  Mxyk.  Ben Shapiro.  Charlie Kirk.  Marjorie Tailor Greene.  Tucker Carlson.  Candace Owens.  Are you starting to notice a pattern?  These are the people the ’80s cool guy would have been embarrassing with his hijinks and breezy charm.  These are the people who would be tearing down the community center in Breakin’ III: Electric Boogalee,  until those awesome kids raised a bunch of money with breakdancing powers and heart.

And yet they think they are cool.  Look at the way they swan around in their piles of ill-gotten loot.  It’s absurd on its face.  I can’t even with that shit.  I know I’m not the coolest bitch myself, and I definitely know coolness isn’t the most admirable quality a human can possess or any kind of basis for making important decisions in life, but I’m claiming rank as an arbiter of cool here.  I deserve it more than they do.  Hell, I could dress in garbage and shit myself on the bus and be cooler than any one of those clowns.

My husband reminds me that a few years ago there was a book claiming that conservative was the new punk, that they were taking cool back from the radical left or whatever.  Now it’s cool to own property and go to church, they said.  I couldn’t find it on a cursory google search, which is more effort than that crackpot idea deserved.

I don’t have a point.  Shit’s just got me a little cranky.  That makes me a “hater” and therefore inherently less cool than a “player,” right?  There are more criteria than that.  On the balance, any cool points they get for being players are utterly hosed by anything else about their entire lives.

Get ’em off the stage.

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The Worst Goddamn Show

i did the obvious photoshop, if not particularly well.  enjoy.  for better post, hit Previous button.

if i was fauci i’d be hatching terrorist schemes to bomb republican politicians.  this’d be my jolker origin story.  i’d kill the motherfuckers.

but i’m not him, and he’s just an old dude who was doing a reasonable job in unreasonable times, so orngdolf shitler lives another day.

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