War Against Science

They’re declaring a war against science
Cos there’s truths that they’d rather deny
So we have to step up our defiance
Or some innocent people will die

Vaccinations are safe and effective
And “alternative cures” do not work
But if killing the poor’s your objective
Say “too many, too soon”, with a smirk

And when scientists scream “global warming!”
As they warn, populations will flood,
To our gates, there’ll be refugees swarming
So let’s nip those reports in the bud

(insert your verses here)

If we censor reports we don’t care for
If we just stick our heads in the sand
Use “alternative facts” as our wherefore
The apocalypse beckons… as planned.

One problem with life in Trump’s America is that the news cycle has gotten prohibitively short for writers of satirical verse. By the time we’ve written something, that topic is just so two hours ago–which used to be the blink of an eye, but now is at least six catastrophes. So instead of 17 verses each pointing out some facet of Trump’s war on science, you get a mere handful, and an invitation to submit your own. Please do so!

Today (oddly enough) was my first day of classes at Cuttlefish U. Every conversation I had that was longer than 2 minutes ended up with some mention of “what is going to happen to science under Trump” (usually a subset of “we are all so fucked under Trump”). And, to be honest, these are among the people who will suffer the least under Trump. The post-truth, post-reality world, while not good for science, is positively deadly for some populations.

But of course, you already know that. You don’t come here for your first dunking in news. To be honest, I don’t quite know why you come here. Or why I do. But I am very glad you do.

Hey, wow, something to make me happy. That was unexpected. Thanks.

Oh, and add your verses, and add your voice, and resist.


  1. says

    Our warriors will staunchly defend us,
    Our cops likewise power inject,
    We’ll have walls, all those big ones, to tend us
    And most of all, God will protect.

    God bless the American people,
    God bless us all, as long as you’re white,
    This land is for all of you sheeple,
    The Donald will treat you all right.

  2. David B. says

    “Our country is digitally divided,”
    Says new FCC Chairman Pai.
    “We all need net access! (Provided
    You don’t call us out on a lie.)”

    “Distortion I’ll bypass by tweeting!”
    Says our POTUS, “But meanwhile
    All department accounts I’m deleting,
    Lest their facts get in the way of denial.”

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