The Good Guys

The good guys with guns are protecting my homeland;
The good guys with guns keep me safe
The good guys with guns have the media charmed
While the doves and the liberals chafe

The good guys with guns say they have all the answers—
For safety, for strength, they’re the ones
The good guys with guns are our saviors, except…
I’m afraid of the good guys with guns.

The good guys with guns say the bad guys are foreign
(They mean that they’re brown or they’re black)
The good guys with guns demand guaranteed safety
But safety is something we lack

The good guys with guns say they make the world safer
For all of our daughters and sons
(You’d see them at play, but they don’t go outside…
They’re afraid of the good guys with guns.)

I dunno, maybe this is one of those times I should spend some more time editing. This one wrote itself, in about 10 minutes.


  1. Cuttlefish says

    In case my lack of editing leaves it unclear, this is inspired by both international and domestic events. It seems GGWG solutions have a fractal character–they work equally well at every level!

  2. Pierce R. Butler says

    Congratulations to the Cuttlefish – I for one find it very difficult to derive inspiration from both international and domestic events!

  3. Johnny Vector says

    Well apparently you suck at lack of clarity! It was immediately clear (to me, at least) that this was referring to both local and global issues. Between that and the simple, almost childlike structure evoking the simple, childish mode of thinking it describes, I think this is one of your best. Huzzah, I say!

  4. tbtabby says

    Be watchful of anyone who claims they’re “the good guys.” Once you’ve decided your cause is just, you take your first step on the path to true evil, because any atrocity will be justified in the name of your cause.

  5. brucegee1962 says

    What a convenient acronym — GGWG! I plan on using it in the future.

    I await the occasion when a whole bunch of GGWGs are all attending an event or concert when one of the guns accidentally misfires. All the other GGWGs immediately draw theirs, and then suddenly realize that they are completely surrounded by terrorists waving guns around. You can imagine what will happen next…

  6. DonDueed says

    And today we hear about one of the GGWGs – wearing a blue uniform – who gunned down a 17-year-old kid in Chicago last year. This time, at least, the GGWG is getting charged with first degree murder.

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