I am as busy as a very busy cuttlefish can be, but I see that people have been visiting the site looking for Christmas verses. So I have two things: first, one that is not complete, but was written because I was giving a final exam, and there were extra pieces of paper and #2 pencils, and I couldn’t help myself. It’s only three verses, prompted by Ed’s reporting that Bill O’Reilly has finally won the War Against Christmas.
Here’s to the War Against Christmas
Here’s to O’Reilly and friends
It’s more jingle-bellish
With every embellish-
ment; really, it’s hellish–
Oh when will it end?
Here’s to the War Agains Christmas
Here’s to the panic and fear!
The yelling and hating,
The trolling and baiting
It’s great for the ratings
For three months a year!
Here’s to the War Against Christmas
We’ll shout to our very last breath
They’re trying to please us
But really just tease us:
Saint Nick versus Jesus,
A fight to the death!
I’ll leave further verses to my commenters. I’m sure you’ll soon surpass these!
Second thing, though–Link to a collection of earlier verses, for a good cause.
Here’s to the war against Christmas
We see Bill-o grumble and bawl.
Until Christmas eve he
Is there on my TV.
And I don’t believe he
Believes it at all.
Nice!
Here’s to the war against Christmas
It’s all that the media sees
As long as big O seeks
More headlines, it still reeks
Of onions, these few weeks
will never see peace.
Here’s to the war against Christmas
It’s our privilege to holler and shout
That the insensitivity
To deny exclusivity
To our plastic nativity
Is terrorism, of that we’ve no doubt!
Here’s to the war against Christmas
Let us defend the majority creed
Just one more week to go
Of fake outrage and snow
Then it’s on with the show
And time to declare war against Eid!
Here’s to the war against Christmas!
Sad that there’s no war on Lent
That would give us more chances to vent.
Against nonbelievers we’re overachievers;
You could say this war’s heaven sent!