I really thought he’d live to be 100

I scan the headlines for mention of his name
But no; there is no reason the papers should bother
It’s not their fault; they needn’t shoulder blame
He’s just a husband. And he’s just a father.
He’s just a grandpa; just a lifelong friend
He’s just another life that’s at an end.


They just took him off the ventilator. Hours, maybe, at tops.

I wrote this cos I didn’t know what else to do. Besides cry, that is. I’ll probably take it down soon.

Update: Yes, he died. (I have more details, but they are private.)

I thank you all for your kind words and thoughts. I really do. It helps, more than I would have guessed. Which is a problem. See… I really don’t like the verse above. But I really love the comments. For now, all stays.

He had a great life. So, so far, have I. Not a small part of that is people like the commenters here. Thank you again. It means the world.


  1. elpayaso says

    and yet, you’vre already made his impending passing more significant than many folks’….how many of us get a poem written about us?

    so sorry. virtual hugs. been listening to Lou Reed’s album Magic and Loss a bunch lately since his demise; highly recommended music for trying to come to grips with losing someone you love.

  2. Cuttlefish says

    I’ll be fine; we all will. I’m more concerned for others; I’ve only known him for 31 years; his wife, brothers, and adult children are clearly going to hurt more.

  3. says

    And there’s no need to take it down. It’s beautiful.

    (I remember you saying once that you thought you used verse as a means of emotional distancing. But in this as in that other case you’ve used it to share an emotional connection. It’s a moving tribute.)

  4. rq says

    And the poem is lovely, please don’t take it down.
    It could be about so many people we know and love, or even ourselves.

  5. Wylann says

    Deepest sympathies here. I lost my last grandparent just last year. She was my wife’s gram, and a fantastic lady. It really hit me, though, when I realized that I didn’t have any grandparents left, and I really broke down for a couple days after that.

    Do what you gotta do. Love the poem.

  6. otrame says

    Don’t feel like you should take it down. We all have to deal with the deaths of beloveds. I am sorry you are hurting. Still, this pain is the price we pay for loving people. I think it’s worth it.

  7. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    Best to you, Cuttlefish. My deepest empathy, my most respectful sympathy.

  8. Badland says

    My sympathies, Cuttlefish. Pain is the price we pay for love but I wouldn’t have it any other way

  9. Matt G says

    I am sorry to hear this. I’ve lost all my grandparents, but am lucky that they lived to be between 88 and 100.

  10. Cuttlefish says

    Thank you, all of you.

    He was one of they good guys. Fortunately, there was sufficient time for goodbyes, and he left a life well-lived, on his own terms, surrounded by loved ones. We should all be so lucky.

    I already miss him.

  11. katybe says

    So sorry to hear your news. I hesitate to share a poem with a poet in these circumstances, but I found this helped me mourn my own grandfather, and the sentiments presented in it say everything I would want to say to someone who has recently lost someone if I were that eloquent. I read it at my grandfather’s funeral, and returned to it frequently in the first year – I hope it might give you even a small fraction of the comfort I got from it – http://www.poeticexpressions.co.uk/poems/you%20can%20shed%20tears%20that%20he%20is%20gone.htm. My sympathy to you and the rest of your family grieving his death.

  12. Cuttlefish says

    Thank you, all of you.

    The word is, it was a peaceful end, and there was a gorgeous sunset just at that moment. He was with family, and many tears were shed and beautiful things said. In the emailed announcement, it was noted that as near as anyone could tell, he had lived the perfect life. I must say, I can’t recall, even once, anyone saying a negative thing about the man. Can’t say that about myself, even.

  13. embraceyourinnercrone says

    I’m really sorry. I love the poem.

    We lost my Mom in law last year at this time. She was a great, tough lady. It still hurts but it does get better, slowly.

  14. aroough says

    Deepest sympathy to you and the family. It’s never easy. Love your work and look forward to Ink.

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