Public Cross Chucked In Duck Pond

A cross was seen
On the village green
As we’re nearing the Easter season
They’ve done it for years
As spring appears—
It’s a beautiful symbol, they reason—
Though they think it’s fine
There’s a civil line
They have taken a few steps beyond
And so, one man
Took the matter in hand
And he chucked the cross into a pond.

He admitted his act
As a matter of fact
And he said that he’d do it again
If the church put it back
That’s a form of attack
Treating non-Christian folk with disdain
If they put back the cross
He’ll just give it a toss
Till it’s floating again with the ducks
I’d suggest that they pray
On the matter, all day…
But the gentleman won’t give two fucks.

Here’s another link to another paper’s coverage, as well. Basically, an 82-yr-old former solicitor saw the cross erected in the village green, as it has been for years each Easter-time, and decided to remove the unwanted litter from public property. He chucked it into a nearby duck pond.

Reaction has been… mixed. The first story notes that “an angry parishioner and her husband” sent out an email to village residents, and that 82 yr old Alan Pickard replied, owning up to the act and stating outright that if the church replaced the cross, he would re-dunk it. Six others expressed objections to the cross’s placement on the green, while 21 reported it did not bother them. Some of the quotes are just delightful. From the second link:

“To fling it into the pond is an unacceptable, wanton act of violence. It’s tantamount to religious hatred in my book. It must have been quite heavy though, so it’s not bad going for an 82-year-old.”

Hey, respect given where it is earned.


  1. Randomfactor says

    Bet that’s one atheist they WISH was in a retirement home.

    Surely there’s a privately-owned spot it can go?

  2. The Lorax says

    Atheists aren’t in retirement homes. They know that there’s nothing waiting for them after they die, so they’re getting out and living what life they have left.

    Or chucking crosses into ponds.

    .. a crossed pond…

    I think there’s a Doctor Who joke in there somewhere…

  3. Cuttlefish says

    Randomfactor–For right now, the cross is back on church property. Why it wasn’t there all along is… well, a case study in privilege.

  4. cag says

    I must take exception to this action of throwing a cross into a duck pond. What have the ducks ever done to be abused in such a fashion? No, the appropriate action would have been to responsibly recycle the wood, preferably as wood chips.

  5. Scr... Archivist says

    Listen, old men walkin’ around distributin’ crosses into ponds is no basis for religious freedom. I mean, if I went ’round saying I could think as freely as I wanted to just because some wizened lawyer lobbed some sticks at a duck, they’d put me away!

    Besides, ducks float in water, as do wooden crosses. And churches. Therefore….

  6. janiceintoronto says

    OMG! Throwing that cross into the duck pond might influence the ducks to believe in jebus and become Quackers!

    Ouch, stop throwing stuff…

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