When life gives you lemons, when life steals your hope,
When tragedy o’erflows your cup
When suffering comes, amidst crisis and loss
The key is to learn to give up.
The things you’ve achieved, and the battles you’ve won
Your possessions—your piece of the pie
Your retirement savings from decades of work,
It’s much better to just let them die.
Refocus your mind from the things of the world
To redemption, forgiveness from sin
The key to it all, in the spiritual sense?
Re-defining a loss as a win.
Rant, after the jump:
Via CNN’s Belief Blog, perhaps the world’s worst “survival guide”, a Franciscan priest’s survival guide for recession.
His “spiritual guide” is not limited to biblical guidance:
Rohr’s book may address contemporary issues, but the wisdom is old. He extracts insights from sources as varied as Greek mythology, Catholic mysticism and fairy tales like Cinderella.
That makes sense, of course–like “preparing like an atheist”, the sources of good advice will certainly not be limited to the bible. Good advice will be agreed upon by many different sources.
But it’s not good advice.
Such stories often teach similar lessons about hard times: Suffering is necessary, the “false self” must be abandoned, and “everything belongs, even the sad, absurd and futile parts.” Rohr, who has also written “Quest for the Grail,” a book on mythology, says people have learned these hard lessons for centuries through myth.
The heroes in mythological stories follow the same pattern. They must first experience humiliation, loss and suffering before finding enlightenment. They are often forced on their journey by a crisis.
That’s right, it’s not really a crisis, it’s an opportunity. Or rather, a blessing. Suffering is good.
The key is not resisting the crisis.
I don’t want to know which part of the Catholic experience that draws from.
But by not resisting, you will allow God’s strength to grow within you.
That growth, though, is accompanied by death – the death of the “false self,” Rohr said. The false self is the part of your self tied to your achievements and possessions.
When your false self dies, you start learning how to base your happiness on more eternal sources, he says.
We learn that loss, while it may not be inevitable, is very much desired.
Rohr’s book reminds people about the “grace of failure,” [Father Gerry Blaszczak, a chaplain at Fairfield University in Connecticut] says.
“In the Christian tradition, loss, collapse and failure have always been seen as not only unavoidable, but even necessary on the path to wisdom, freedom and personal maturity,” Blaszczak said.
Only by losing everything are you able to find what is really important.
This is so much better advice than, say, how to not lose everything.
I actually agree with part of your poem: “When suffering comes, amidst crisis and loss
The key is to learn to give up.” I also somewhat agree with this part by Rohr, “The false self is the part of your self tied to your achievements and possessions.”
I’ve read a fair bit on Zen and it has teachings about not needing material things, which are not permanent anyway. It’s not a lifestyle for me, I’m afraid–I like my computer and house. The difference, of course, is that in Zen, it’s a conscious choice to do without, while Rohr is talking about how to react when it’s forced upon you. For him, it’s more a matter of “eat shit and like it,” rather than “make lemonade.” The other difference, of course, is that Zen would say to trust in yourself and be honest with that while Rohr thinks it’s a good time to get in touch with something nonexistent–the “eternal sources,” whatever they are.
There was a point in my life as I gained maturity that I realized that the only things truly worth having in life were the ones that you were willing to give away or let go of. It doesn’t mean you have to give them away, but can if you want to. I live in Japan and one thing I soon learned from being here is that we Americans are incredibly selfish and insensitive to how others feel and think.
Another thing I soon learned was put so nicely by my favorite poet, the under-read Stephen Crane:
When the prophet, a complacent fat man,
Arrived at the mountain-top
He cried, “Woe to my knowledge!
“I intended to see good white lands
“And bad black lands–
“But the scene is grey.”
Unlike the black&white dichotomy that prevails in the Christian mindset, the world is more subtle and unclear. Asians learn to accept things as they are and in many ways are happier for it. They don’t need a god to tell them what to do and castigate them for not doing it.
Seriously off-topic here, but your poem and comments got me thinking about things, and I like that.
Well the Catholic church does love poverty. Ours, not theirs of course.
I think what he’s clumsily aiming for is not “Your 401K was wiped out? Don’t worry, suffering is good! It’s all part of God’s plan! Lie back and enjoy it!” but more “Yes, it sucks, but don’t let it be an excuse to be bitter and angry for the rest of your days; focus on how you can fix the problem and be happy even though this isn’t what you planned on.”
Obviously that’s easier to do with some disappointments than others. And the whole “glorifying suffering for God” bullshit can be ignored. But there’s some wisdom here, even if it’s frosted in religious bullshit.
That’s the trouble with religious “wisdom”… you have to load it into an isotope centrifuge to extract it from the bullshit.
Ah yes. Adversity builds character. We should welcome adversity.
Huh. Well I can see the benefit of being graceful and collected during adversity, accepting what has happened and not going nutty about it.
But to just turn the other cheek? That’s silly. If something bad happens, learn from it and prevent it. Don’t turn the other cheek, you’re only going to injure yourself senselessly, because you know life is going to smack it first chance it gets. You don’t look like a proud hero for that, you look like a bloody fool!
Grace in adversity is wonderful, but that’s only because it lets you keep a clear head which, in turn, allows you to efficiently overcome adversity. If you don’t overcome and grow, you stagnate. And that is not good.
Ah, yes, that old “wisdom”, multiple times rebranded positive thinking.
Lemons, doors and windows. Things like job loss and cancer are actually good things ! What doesn’t kill ya makes you stronger, ain’t it right ?
Except, no it isn’t. Cancer killed my best friend about two months ago, after having lived less than half the life that should have been hers. I’m still waiting for someone to explain to me what sort of positive side there is to colostomy, peripheral neuropathy and total loss of dignity. To teach me something perhaps ? What a load of selfish bunkum. It’s like telling dying prey that they should take comfort in being eaten.
If you’ve lost your retirement, you’ll make a real nice touching story of courage on the six o’clock news when you’ll be the oldest employee at WalMart, bravely working despite your painful arthritic knees. While the scum who caused your ruin sip champain on their million dollar yacht, bought tax-free with your own money.
Yes, smile and accept – then it’s your own fault if you don’t get out of the ditch : you didn’t smile sincerely enough. But, most importantly, you won’t get angry. You won’t have that rage to push you into actual, effective action.
The ever occurring religious message: “Suffering is good.”