The requirements just get insaner,
Like a good triple twisting half-gainer
If you do a good dive,
You will surely survive—
If you don’t, then you’re “pulling a Boehner”.

(I’m trying out–subject to my time and other people’s idiocy–a new occasional feature, kinda like Ed Brayton’s “dumbass quote” and “badass quote” of the day. You are encouraged to add your own limericks in the comments. The rules are–look at the headlines of whatever news source you like, and write a limerick inspired by same. If your headline is local, small-town news, you might want to include a link, too.)