Yeah, I know, I know, it has been a few weeks since the last Friday Limericks thread. It’s been a busy time. Still is, actually, come to think of it. So I thought I’d take a few moments to hide from all that, and ask you how you are doing. Better than your pal Cuttlefish, I hope.
If our health is more precious than gold,
Mine’s a stock that I wish I had sold;
I have tried to be tough,
But enough is enough!
It’s two weeks now, that I’ve had this cold!
I’m either too warm, or I’m freezing,
And I’m coughing and sniffling and sneezing;
My voice has gone hoarse,
And my family, of course,
Wants to make me feel better… by teasing!
The TV commercials inspire us
To buy stuff to fight off the virus–
But it seems it’s not health
They are after, but wealth–
It’s my money of which they’re desirous!
Now I’m huddled up, drinking my tea*,
Wishing only to be symptom-free.
So, from your point of view
What’s it like to be you?
Cos I tell you, it sucks to be me.
*oh, yeah, I forgot to mention above… the Cuttlespouse used the very last of our coffee. Nothing left for yours truly.
I’m sorry you’re feeling so sick,And I hope you get better real quick.I’ll write three more lines,With some really bad rhymes,And try to finish this limerick!For myself I’m quite ready to goBack West to avoid all the snow.I’ll enjoy my long break,But with tests still to take,It’s two weeks before I can go.
I have taken my “cough and cold” medsNow I’m fuzzy and strange in my heads(wait, heads? More than one?Guess it’s better than none!)So I think I’ll go lay on my bedzzzzzzzzzzzz..
Dear Cuttles, don’t be such a whiner.Tea more than coffee’s diviner.With honey and cream,It tastes like a dream,And besides, they drink it in China!Apologies for that last bit.It made me sound like a twit.The appeal to antiquityIs quite the iniquity.Among skeptics, it means full of s#!t.Seriously, I hope you get better.Stop feeling so under the weather.With Reiki and prayer,I’ll heal you! I dareSay that you will be my soul debtor.Okay, I’ll stop wooing up the place. :P
You know you’re in trouble now, CuttlesAs get you right out of those ruttles,I’ll be seeing what to send’fore you go round the bendAnd I won’t be taking rebuttals!
There once was a banker named Wall,Was so horny he no longer could stall.Tried to make a deposit,With a girl in the closet,But it was more like an early withdrawal.Paul Venierhttp://www.strategicbookpublishing.com/BrandSpankinNewLimericks.html
Tea’s just the thing that you drinkFor a cold, so my nana did think. But you don’t drink it straight:Add some honey – and wait!The whiskey’s what tips you the wink.(Not a great limerick, I know,But the best I can do right now, soTake care, get some rest,And you’ll soon be your best:A cold never lasts – it’ll go.)
I am an old lady from SydneyWho only wants a used kidneyMy ex offered his organWhile sitting his ass on my divanBut I’m fearful that it will reject me!(Note: probably a bit of Graft vs Host disease)