Why people won’t watch CSI with me

From here:
Because finding a contaminated sample of cells, extracting the DNA, successfully amplifying a clean PCR, genotyping or sequencing it, and editing your perfectly clear and uncontaminated results always takes about ten minutes. And nothing ever fails. Ever. They must pray to the PCR Gods more than I do. Oh, and not to mention they have a genetic database of every human on earth to compare their DNA to. Even if BLAST ever did grow that large, it would take hours, if not days of computational time to find the correct match.

…

Yeah, now whenever I watch CSI with my dad, he’ll just turn to me and ask, “That’s nothing like how it actually works, is it?” Nope.

And as a side note, you know you’ve been working on your honors thesis too long when a graph jam graph annoys you. The Y axis is horrible, and there are no error bars! I can definitely go from tissue sample to sequence data in 3 days if everything works perfectly, and I’ve also had it take up to two months (stupid low sodium clean up procedure!). …I’m a nerd.

Why people won't watch CSI with me

From here:
Because finding a contaminated sample of cells, extracting the DNA, successfully amplifying a clean PCR, genotyping or sequencing it, and editing your perfectly clear and uncontaminated results always takes about ten minutes. And nothing ever fails. Ever. They must pray to the PCR Gods more than I do. Oh, and not to mention they have a genetic database of every human on earth to compare their DNA to. Even if BLAST ever did grow that large, it would take hours, if not days of computational time to find the correct match.

…

Yeah, now whenever I watch CSI with my dad, he’ll just turn to me and ask, “That’s nothing like how it actually works, is it?” Nope.

And as a side note, you know you’ve been working on your honors thesis too long when a graph jam graph annoys you. The Y axis is horrible, and there are no error bars! I can definitely go from tissue sample to sequence data in 3 days if everything works perfectly, and I’ve also had it take up to two months (stupid low sodium clean up procedure!). …I’m a nerd.

Atheist Barbie has been sullied by teabaggers! Nooooo!

And yes, by teabaggers I mean Tea Party members. I think I rather have my Atheist Barbie Photoshopped with a pair of balls in her mouth* then be awfully transformed like she was:Aaauuuuuugghhh nooooooooooooo! God, it’s not even a good Photoshopping job. At least I put forth some effort. He couldn’t even find his own Barbie to Photoshop, he had to go and add on top of mine! And then not credit me for it! …Well, I guess it’s good that he deleted the link to my blog, since I don’t want to be associated with Tea Party bullshit. At least someone else has already gone ahead and fixed it (and pointed out Atheist Barbie was originally from here):Thank you, Sadly, No!, for pointing out that creativity and good work ethic are not traits of teabaggers.

Speaking of creativity and working hard, back to writing my thesis (almost done!).

*Though that does not mean you have to go do it. Seriously. Please don’t.

Responses to my column on atheism

Yes, I know I should be frantically working on my thesis, but I’m taking a break to post some news I promised I’d share. On Wednesday I wrote an article on my experiences as an atheist at Purdue and the Society of Non-Theists. The overwhelming response was people emailing me, thanking me for writing it, which is absolutely awesome. I also found wonderful write up by a fellow Purdue student about how my experiences mirror his of coming to the Midwest as a Mormon:

When I lived in Utah most of the kids in school where Mormon. In Tennessee I could count the number of LDS students on one hand, two of them being myself and my sister, out of a student population of about 2000. And with Utah’s reputation of being “Mormon country” whenever someone learned where I was from the conversation would usually go something like this:

Person: “Where are you from?”
Me: “Utah”
Person: “Are you Mormon?”
Me: “Yes”
Person: (In disbelief and with a serious tone) “Are you going to have 10 wives when you get older?”

And the multiple wives question was usually just the tip of the ice berg. I could not believe how many strange outlandish questions I got asked about being LDS. It got to the point where I almost dreaded telling someone else I was LDS because of the various stereotypes and nonsense people would then assume about me. This was also when I began to meet LDS members who have had their families and friends shut them out of their lives because they became Mormon. I also met a girl here at Purdue who told us of her conversion and how her parents had cut off all contact with her because of her decision to become LDS.

So after reading Jennifer’s article I began to relate to what she was talking about. I could even relate to the preachers who stand out on the mall preaching hellfire and damnation on all those they disagree with because, surprise, they think Mormons are going to hell as well. Whenever you see one of the street preachers holding a sign with a list of “damned” groups of people, look at the names and you will see Mormons listed along with atheists, pedophiles, democrats, and homosexuals.

While we’ll probably never agree on theology, it’s wonderful that others understand what being an atheist is like, and realize we can be more similar than they might have thought. Responses like this make me think my article was a great success!

Brief “I am so fucked” hiatus

Dear Internet:

Jen’s honors thesis is due Monday, but she thought it was due Tuesday. Jen is still analyzing her data, and the computer decided to crash and erase some of her annotations (but thankfully not the core data). Jen also didn’t realize that the Department head needed to read, approve, and sign said thesis before she could turn it in. Jen has no idea how she’s going to be able to finish it in time so said Dept Head has time to do this, and work on the improvements he’ll no doubt suggest if he doesn’t reject her outright for being a dumbass. Jen only feels slightly better after realizing other biology students working on their honors thesis also didn’t know this, and are now frantically screaming while typing as well. But then Jen remembers this means the Dept Head will have many theses to read Sunday night, and he will hate us all. Jen is now kicking herself for wasting today by working at Fiction for Fiction and blogging.

tl;dr FUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKK

I won’t be on the internet until Monday. Consider this an open thread.

Brief "I am so fucked" hiatus

Dear Internet:

Jen’s honors thesis is due Monday, but she thought it was due Tuesday. Jen is still analyzing her data, and the computer decided to crash and erase some of her annotations (but thankfully not the core data). Jen also didn’t realize that the Department head needed to read, approve, and sign said thesis before she could turn it in. Jen has no idea how she’s going to be able to finish it in time so said Dept Head has time to do this, and work on the improvements he’ll no doubt suggest if he doesn’t reject her outright for being a dumbass. Jen only feels slightly better after realizing other biology students working on their honors thesis also didn’t know this, and are now frantically screaming while typing as well. But then Jen remembers this means the Dept Head will have many theses to read Sunday night, and he will hate us all. Jen is now kicking herself for wasting today by working at Fiction for Fiction and blogging.

tl;dr FUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKK

I won’t be on the internet until Monday. Consider this an open thread.

Fiction for Fiction: Trade religious texts for novels

Today the Society of Non-Theists held our annual spring event, Fiction for Fiction. The basic premise is that people can trade in various religious texts for fiction novels. We stick little bookmarks in the book explaining why we’re doing the event, which say the following:

“Religious texts may give some moral guidance, but that does not necessarily mean what they say is true. Fictional novels can contain important morals and insight into human life. You must think critically and ask questions to learn from what you’re reading. We encourage you to come to your own conclusions about what is fact and what is fiction. If you would like to investigate inconsistencies and contradictions specifically in the Bible, Koran, and Book of Mormon, skepticsannotatedbible.com is a great place to start.”

Or, to summarize:

Random student: Are you saying the Bible is fiction?!?!
Us: …Uh, yes?

This year it went just as well as in the past. We collected two Bhagavad Gitas, the Popol Vuh (from the Mayan religion), and a bunch of Bibles. The most common response was positive: People smiled, smirked, waved, laughed, came up and thanked us, took photos next to our sign, and generally were very appreciative. One parent who was on a tour with their high school student was grinning ear to ear. We also had theists come up wondering what we were doing and what our group was all about, and talking to them was great. There were no hard feelings and they agreed with what we were doing.
See? Happy non-scary atheists!

We did have the occasional scowl and a couple people who wanted to debate, which also always happens. One person came up (while I was off eating lunch, unfortunately) apparently trying to say the shroud of Turin was absolute proof of God’s existence. …Yeah, I know. Could you pick anything that has been debunked more than the shroud of Turin?

And in an ultimate event of irony, a guy that has been handing out chick tracts around campus came to pass them out to us. I squealed that I collected them (now up to 107!), so I gave him the totally wrong impression with my eagerness. Even more ironically, the tract was anti-evolution. Eventually he realized we were all atheists, and that I am majoring in evolution, so he tried to debate me. And by try, I mean he said Neanderthals were just arthritic humans and that Satan put fake fossils in the ground because he wants us all to act like monkeys (I wish I was making this up).

Him: The problem is people don’t hear enough facts about evolution. Have you talked to creationists?
Me: Tons, yes.
Him: And did they give you any facts? Not Biblical scripture, but science
Me: Well, they thought they were giving me facts, but no, they didn’t.

When I asked for an example of facts, he told me there were too many to remember (even a single one, apparently) and that I should go watch some Kent Hovind. He seemed impressed when I actually knew who he was. I was more impressed that I didn’t revert to my rage face during the conversation.

A liberal Christian who sometimes hangs out with our group then came up, and got all excited that it would possibly be a Christian debating a Christian, so she jumped in. The discussion turned to Biblical literalism and I had to run to class, so I missed most of their discussion. There was one part I did hear, however:

Christian Gal: Well, God used leprosy as a sign that you’ve done something wrong. I mean, I believe in modern medicine and everything, but I don’t think it can explain everything…

Then I facepalmed and ran off to my psychology class. Really, she’s usually pretty good, so I was just like…wut?

Anyway, overall I would say Fiction for Fiction was a success. A club member said he overheard people talking about it favorably in one of his classes. Always good to generate discussion and not piss people off! At least, not everyone.

National Day of Prayer ruled unconstitutional

In a case of “Wow, it took you that long to figure it out?”, the National Day of Prayer was finally ruled unconstitutional in a federal court:

Congress established the day in 1952 and in 1988 set the first Thursday in May as the day for presidents to issue proclamations asking Americans to pray. The Freedom From Religion Foundation, a Madison-based group of atheists and agnostics, filed a lawsuit against the federal government in 2008 arguing the day violated the separation of church and state.

President Barack Obama’s administration has countered that the statute simply acknowledges the role of religion in the United States. Obama issued a proclamation last year but did not hold public events with religious leaders as former President George W. Bush had done.

Government involvement in prayer is constitutional only as long as it does not call for religious action, which the prayer day does, U.S. District Judge Barbara Crabb wrote in her ruling.

“It goes beyond mere ‘acknowledgment’ of religion because its sole purpose is to encourage all citizens to engage in prayer, an inherently religious exercise that serves no secular function in this context,” Crabb wrote. “In this instance, the government has taken sides on a matter that must be left to individual conscience.”

Good work, Freedom from Religion Foundation!

Now, I wonder how this will pan out when it almost assuredly goes to the Supreme Court… Any political science people want to weigh in?

Apparently having sex means I’m weak and dependent

Sex negativity in the media no longer shocks me, but I have to say I’m surprised who it’s coming from – Lady Gaga. Yep, apparently you can parade around mostly naked, dance around naked and make out with girls in your music videos, have songs about sex, but then still take the moral high road of abstinence.

The worse part is that it’s one of those articles that starts off very nice, then kicks you when you’re not looking:

The 24-year-old singer who’s made a career with songs that glorify carnal pleasures told London’s that she is currently under a self-imposed sex ban and that others should consider a similar posture.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this — don’t have sex. I’m single right now and I’ve chosen to be single because I don’t have the time to get to know anybody,” she said while visiting England to help promote MAC’s Viva Glam campaign, which supports global HIV and AIDS projects. “So it’s OK not to have sex, it’s OK to get to know people. I’m celibate, celibacy’s fine.”

Gaga said her celibacy is something she wants to “celebrate” with her fans, extending her oft-repeated message to her “little monsters” that they should be secure in their own skin and not shy away from being different.

“It’s OK to be whomever it is that you want to be,” she said. “You don’t have to have sex to feel good about yourself, and if you’re not ready, don’t do it. And if you are ready, there are free condoms given away at my concerts when you’re leaving!

Okay, that’s totally fine. In fact, I agree. You shouldn’t be forced or pressured to have sex if you don’t want to. You should take measures to avoid disease, and one way is abstinence – if you actually follow it. Many people fail, but at least Lady Gaga is reasonable and pro-contraception. And while I don’t think everyone has to do this, I personally think it’s a good idea to get to know someone before doing the deed. You don’t need to be soulmates, but at least know the person isn’t a stalker or serial killer.

But then, it rapidly goes downhill:

“I remember the cool girls when I was growing up. Everyone started to have sex. But it’s not really cool anymore to have sex all the time. It’s cooler to be strong and independent.”

…Fuck you, Lady Gaga.

Abstaining from sex does not automatically make you strong and independent, nor (as the quote implies) does having sex make you weak and dependent. You know what makes you strong and independent? Being able to make whatever goddamn choice you want about your own sexuality. Being pressured into abstinence because God or a pop idol told you does not make you strong or independent.

Oh, and kudos on the slut shaming. Having sex all the time isn’t cool. You know what? I have sex all the time because I like having sex. In fact, I wish I got more sex. I’m not trying to impress anyone or conform to societal norms; I just like fucking every once in a while. What a shame that you don’t understand that concept – the sex you did have must not have been that fulfilling if you were just doing it to fit in.

The ultimate irony is that she says you shouldn’t have sex to try to be cool and fit in…but then argues that it’s cooler to not have sex, thus using the same sort of peer pressure. Wonderful logic.

Apparently having sex means I'm weak and dependent

Sex negativity in the media no longer shocks me, but I have to say I’m surprised who it’s coming from – Lady Gaga. Yep, apparently you can parade around mostly naked, dance around naked and make out with girls in your music videos, have songs about sex, but then still take the moral high road of abstinence.

The worse part is that it’s one of those articles that starts off very nice, then kicks you when you’re not looking:

The 24-year-old singer who’s made a career with songs that glorify carnal pleasures told London’s that she is currently under a self-imposed sex ban and that others should consider a similar posture.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this — don’t have sex. I’m single right now and I’ve chosen to be single because I don’t have the time to get to know anybody,” she said while visiting England to help promote MAC’s Viva Glam campaign, which supports global HIV and AIDS projects. “So it’s OK not to have sex, it’s OK to get to know people. I’m celibate, celibacy’s fine.”

Gaga said her celibacy is something she wants to “celebrate” with her fans, extending her oft-repeated message to her “little monsters” that they should be secure in their own skin and not shy away from being different.

“It’s OK to be whomever it is that you want to be,” she said. “You don’t have to have sex to feel good about yourself, and if you’re not ready, don’t do it. And if you are ready, there are free condoms given away at my concerts when you’re leaving!

Okay, that’s totally fine. In fact, I agree. You shouldn’t be forced or pressured to have sex if you don’t want to. You should take measures to avoid disease, and one way is abstinence – if you actually follow it. Many people fail, but at least Lady Gaga is reasonable and pro-contraception. And while I don’t think everyone has to do this, I personally think it’s a good idea to get to know someone before doing the deed. You don’t need to be soulmates, but at least know the person isn’t a stalker or serial killer.

But then, it rapidly goes downhill:

“I remember the cool girls when I was growing up. Everyone started to have sex. But it’s not really cool anymore to have sex all the time. It’s cooler to be strong and independent.”

…Fuck you, Lady Gaga.

Abstaining from sex does not automatically make you strong and independent, nor (as the quote implies) does having sex make you weak and dependent. You know what makes you strong and independent? Being able to make whatever goddamn choice you want about your own sexuality. Being pressured into abstinence because God or a pop idol told you does not make you strong or independent.

Oh, and kudos on the slut shaming. Having sex all the time isn’t cool. You know what? I have sex all the time because I like having sex. In fact, I wish I got more sex. I’m not trying to impress anyone or conform to societal norms; I just like fucking every once in a while. What a shame that you don’t understand that concept – the sex you did have must not have been that fulfilling if you were just doing it to fit in.

The ultimate irony is that she says you shouldn’t have sex to try to be cool and fit in…but then argues that it’s cooler to not have sex, thus using the same sort of peer pressure. Wonderful logic.