Hey everyone! Sorry for my absence lately. ‘Tis the season of final projects, papers, exams, and graduate school applications. As you can imagine, I’m a bit out of my mind and not sleeping much, so blog posts may not be as frequent. Don’t worry – once winter break* hits, I’ll be bored out of my mind! My blogging then will probably make up for my disappearance now.
What, this post wasn’t atheisty enough? Well, here, look what came in the mail the other day**:
If you follow Hemant over at Friendly Atheist, you’ll remember he had a little contest to win this heatheny Memo Maid for your computer. And yep, I was one of the winners! What was the contest?
We all know that Ray Comfort is giving away copies of The Origin of Species to college students… with his own 50-page introduction “debunking” the book.
What’s the next book Comfort will write an introduction to, and what already-airtight theory will he attempt to debunk in the process?
And what did I say that was so brilliant?
He’ll add a special intro to The Joy of Sex, reminding people that it only applies to married heterosexual couples and that all the sections except for the missionary position should be ignored.
I almost feel like I’m cheating. Every time I make a sex joke in one of Hemant’s contests, I win a prize (got a Friendly Atheist wristband last time!). Hemant, you’re just too easy***.
*Am I going to be banned by some Christian group because I didn’t say Christmas break?
**No, Hemant didn’t come included. I was just too busy/lazy to take my own photo. Though now that I think of it, a mail-order Hemant would be pretty cool…
***Double entundre obviously intended.****
****Alright, must stop innuendo about internet personas before I upset the boyfriend ;P
I've noticed that Catholic jokes get a chortle with sex added, when they're not good jokes, but without sex, it has to be pretty good, so I think you're onto something solid. Consider, without sex (have to consider the Catholic doctrine of Mary being concieved without sin):
And Jesus said to them, "Let the one among you without sin cast the first stone". And a little old Jewish woman came out of the crowd, picked up a humongous boulder and dropped it on the man. Jesus turned to her and said, "Mother, sometimes you really piss me off"!
Compared to:
A young priest was hearing confessions and a women came in and confessed, "Bless my father for I have sinned; I gave a man a blow-job". The young priest didn't know what that meant exactly, but he prescribed for her 3 Hail Mary's 5 Our Father's and an Act of Contrition, and gave her absolution. Later, he was having dinner at the nunnery, and he took the mother superior aside and said, "I heard somthing today that I was curious about, and wondered if I could ask you"? She said that was no problem and asked what it was. He said, "Well, Mother, I was wondering, what is a 'blow-job'"? She replied, "For you father, only $20".
There's really nothing to the second one, but it stands equal with the first because of the sex. No?
I’ve noticed that Catholic jokes get a chortle with sex added, when they’re not good jokes, but without sex, it has to be pretty good, so I think you’re onto something solid. Consider, without sex (have to consider the Catholic doctrine of Mary being concieved without sin):And Jesus said to them, “Let the one among you without sin cast the first stone”. And a little old Jewish woman came out of the crowd, picked up a humongous boulder and dropped it on the man. Jesus turned to her and said, “Mother, sometimes you really piss me off”!Compared to:A young priest was hearing confessions and a women came in and confessed, “Bless my father for I have sinned; I gave a man a blow-job”. The young priest didn’t know what that meant exactly, but he prescribed for her 3 Hail Mary’s 5 Our Father’s and an Act of Contrition, and gave her absolution. Later, he was having dinner at the nunnery, and he took the mother superior aside and said, “I heard somthing today that I was curious about, and wondered if I could ask you”? She said that was no problem and asked what it was. He said, “Well, Mother, I was wondering, what is a ‘blow-job'”? She replied, “For you father, only $20”.There’s really nothing to the second one, but it stands equal with the first because of the sex. No?
Zarathustra: All jokes are YMMV, I think. I found the first one much funnier, I think because it's a mythology joke (which made me go, "Wait, what, ohhhhh hahaha"), while the other one doesn't require additional knowledge to be funny. ((shrug))
Zarathustra: All jokes are YMMV, I think. I found the first one much funnier, I think because it’s a mythology joke (which made me go, “Wait, what, ohhhhh hahaha”), while the other one doesn’t require additional knowledge to be funny. ((shrug))
I will work on getting mail-order Hemants ready for Christmas.
Also, for what it's worth, the creator of the MemoMaid picked the winners! So my easiness was irrelevant to your awesomeness.
I will work on getting mail-order Hemants ready for Christmas.Also, for what it’s worth, the creator of the MemoMaid picked the winners! So my easiness was irrelevant to your awesomeness.
It's full of heathen-y goodness! Congrats, that was an awesome answer.
Now must go learn some sexy jokes in case there's another contest :)
It’s full of heathen-y goodness! Congrats, that was an awesome answer. Now must go learn some sexy jokes in case there’s another contest :)
In a stunning coincidence, mine arrived today, almost simultaneously with your post.
In a stunning coincidence, mine arrived today, almost simultaneously with your post.
Jokes. Yes! I love jokes.
You remind me of the Top Ten List. I think it would be fun to come out with a top ten list that makes fun of religion.
Jokes. Yes! I love jokes.You remind me of the Top Ten List. I think it would be fun to come out with a top ten list that makes fun of religion.
Awesome! I won too and got mine in the other day as well! :D
Awesome! I won too and got mine in the other day as well! :D
Oh Hemant, bursting my bubble ;P
Oh Hemant, bursting my bubble ;P
“Is bald a hairstyle?” This is the question I am asked by my atheist friends when I assert atheism tends to have characteristics of a belief system. Atheism I am told is simply a lack of belief in god/gods. Thus, Atheism is no more of a belief than bald is a hairstyle. Right?
Here is my dilemma about which I know you all as friendly atheists will help me. The Friendly Atheist Doodad (FAD—for lack of a better name :) above begins to articulate a positive set of beliefs. Now I know FAD is not an atheist manifesto or anything. And FAD is probably nothing more than the equivalent of an atheist encouragement Hallmark card, or motivational successories concept which should not be taken seriously.
But, does the message of FAD help the atheists’ cause? Did Hemant chose the most precise term with “believes?” Or should he substitute the term “Humanist” in place of “Atheist?” It seems to me to be a redefinition of atheism and plays into the hands of those who say that atheism is a “belief system” (like me)–especially when it contains one “should” and four “musts.” (Five commandments–good ones no less, but still moral imperatives)
Seriously which boat am I missing on this? Your friendly inquisitive theist (FIT) ;)
Also on a different note, I’m pretty sure Song of Solomon would encourage more than the “missionary position” among heterosexual couples. If not then I need to repent. ;)
“Is bald a hairstyle?” This is the question I am asked by my atheist friends when I assert atheism tends to have characteristics of a belief system. Atheism I am told is simply a lack of belief in god/gods. Thus, Atheism is no more of a belief than bald is a hairstyle. Right? Here is my dilemma about which I know you all as friendly atheists will help me. The Friendly Atheist Doodad (FAD—for lack of a better name :) above begins to articulate a positive set of beliefs. Now I know FAD is not an atheist manifesto or anything. And FAD is probably nothing more than the equivalent of an atheist encouragement Hallmark card, or motivational successories concept which should not be taken seriously. But, does the message of FAD help the atheists’ cause? Did Hemant chose the most precise term with “believes?” Or should he substitute the term “Humanist” in place of “Atheist?” It seems to me to be a redefinition of atheism and plays into the hands of those who say that atheism is a “belief system” (like me)–especially when it contains one “should” and four “musts.” (Five commandments–good ones no less, but still moral imperatives)Seriously which boat am I missing on this? Your friendly inquisitive theist (FIT) ;)Also on a different note, I’m pretty sure Song of Solomon would encourage more than the “missionary position” among heterosexual couples. If not then I need to repent. ;)