If you read the right-wing “news” outlets, you already know that President Obama is secretly a Marxist Muslim terrorist plotting to take your guns and force you to submit to Sharia law and possibly also gay weddings. But that’s not the true depth of his depravity, oh no. He, or perhaps his evil Twin President Obama, has an even darker secret.

President Obama’s out-of-the-blue statement voicing concern for allegedly growing religious intolerance in India is no surprise at all. There are reasons for this outburst. The US President is clearly under the superficial anti-India propaganda by a powerful network of the Christian lobby alleging that minorities face ‘existential challenges’…

Obama has shown himself to be more a Christian figure than statesman. Fact is that the missionary lobby fears an anti-conversion law that will prevent them from ‘harvesting’ Hindus as part of their demographic project. There were expectations during the Pope’s visit to India that he would advise evangelists to stop conversions. Far from it, he claimed conversion to be a right. Indian missionaries are perturbed by rising demands for a Central law against conversion. Obama’s statement is a part of the Vatican’s agenda in India.

That’s right. All those secret Islamic messages that right-wing Americans are worried about? A sham. A facade. A false flag operation designed to conceal his true, more insidious agenda: to convert the world to Roman Catholicism. Typical, isn’t it?

The St. Anne’s Church in Gulbarga was attacked on June 8, 2000 along with another, St. Peter Paul Church, in Bengaluru, and literature threatening Christians was distributed. But investigation unravelled the real culprits and intentions. It was the handiwork of Deendar Anjuman, an outfit backed by Pakistan’s ISI [Inter-Services Intelligence].

Another incident was the rape of four nuns in Jhabua, Madhya Pradesh, in 1999. Investigation revealed the 12 rapists to be Christians. More intriguing was an incident in 2009 when church property was destroyed in Mangaluru on March 16, sparking off media discourse on “anti-Christian activities of Hindu outfits”. But post-arrest investigation revealed all seven accused to be Christians, who confessed that the intention of their crime was to defame the majority community and create social divide. Such incidents are an eye-opener.

Them Christians and their false-flag operations! And in cahoots with foreign spies too. Lucky for us those four kids and their goofy dog were vacationing over here this year.

To us weary Yanks, this kind of reporting seems amusing, if only because we’re so used to seeing claims like this heralded as the world’s unholy conspiracy against True Christians. I guess it’s nice to know that we’re not the only nation that has to suffer the wounded outrage of self-appointed martyrs.