Friday Cephalopod: the Legion arrives » « News from the homeland

CNN reports a miracle: concrete doesn’t burn!

It’s amazing. The fires in Gatlinburg, Tennessee have killed people and destroyed wooden homes, but our delightfully insightful and evidence based media found a concrete statue of Jesus that survived while the house around it turned to ash. Praise the lord!

fire-statute-jesus

Hang on a moment — it looks like the foundation of the house also survived the blaze. Praise cinderblock, the one true god!

Can we test whether CNN’s broadcasting studios will survive an inferno next?

Friday Cephalopod: the Legion arrives » « News from the homeland

Comments

  3. says

    Not good sportsmanship on the part of the almighty anyway, to burn people’s house down and spare a statue. Not to mention the 11 people he murdered.

  5. unclefrogy says

    that picture reminds me of the pictures of cruciform structural members in the rubble of the Twin Towers as if in it self it had any meaning
    uncle frogy

  7. Cuttlefish says

    This settles it: I’m tearing down my concrete apocalypse bunker, and making a new one out of Jesuses.

  9. Larry says

    So it seems that the bar one must jump over to declare some event a miracle gets lower and lower with each passing year.

  10. Silver Fox says

    Hold the presses! Look to the right of J.C. What’s that I see? It’s a hubcap! It survived the inferno! Truly a miracle. It must be a sign of hope from the Holy Roadster! I’ll bet if we dig through the ashes we may find more bits and pieces of the Divine Dodge. We are truly blessed to have lived to see this day. God walks in the Smokies.

  11. slithey tove (twas brillig (stevem)) says

    CNN quote:

    McCord immediately took a picture of what he’d found and posted it to Facebook, where it’s been shared tens of thousands of times. Many commenters took it as a sign from God.
    “It provides hope and faith,” McCord said. “That’s why I shared it.”

    hope and faith? Faith that Gawd burns innocent people out of random wrath? No. Thank. You. and may mercy be on your soul cuz god don’t give a damn himself while giving damn to everybody who prays at him.
    WTF does it take to see a burned page from a storybook as a “sign of hope and faith”?
    *spit*

  12. grasshopper says

    A perfect example of Jesus as a concrete abstract. Notice, too, how the concrete statue of the invisible pink uniform didn’t survive.

  13. Nullifidian says

    Well, it looks like the Fire Chief’s exhortation to the residents of Gatlinburg to pray to br saved from the fire must’ve had some effect.

    But instead of the message of the prayers being, “Jebus, save us, oh Jebus”, the message got mangled to “Jebus, save us a Jebus”. (With a Tennessee accent, you could see how that could happen, eh.)

  14. johnlee says

    While we’re on the subject of miracles, I’m going to predict one:

    This will mean, of course, that I’m a Prophet – up there with Amos, Malachi and Jeremiah, and I demand to be beatified by the Catholic Church when my prophesy comes true.

    This is my prophesy: Within two years of his passing away, Pope Benedict XVI will intercede and posthumously heal a devout believer who has an incurable illness.

    I promise this will happen, and am willing to accept bets against it.

    Any takers?

  15. cnocspeireag says

    To make concrete burst into flame you need chlorine trifluoride, which is probably the modern equivalent of a chariot bound with iron,

  20. says

    Don’t blame me for the rubble, sez God,
    Just thank me for the sign.
    The bad stuff wot ‘appens is all down to you.
    For the good bits, the credit’s all mine.

    +!

  22. Rich Woods says

    @johnlee #21:

    I will. I bet you my soul to a bag of doughnuts that it never happens.

    If you win, I’ll leave it to you to initiate the soul summoning ritual at a time and place of your coven’s choosing (it has intercontintental range, so it won’t matter where I am). If I win, well, we’ll sort out the delivery problem if it comes to it.

  24. wzrd1 says

    Actually, considering the intensity of the fire, floors/roof falling in during the fire, the statue is in remarkably good condition.
    Regular concrete doesn’t get along very well with fire, due to the moisture present in the concrete, which tends to make concrete that’s exposed to fire crumble.

    Of course, the block wall is concrete blocks and those are in even better condition than the statue.
    Showing that blocks are more powerful than Jesus.

  25. vortmax says

    Oh, concrete WILL burn, given the right chemical. Like chlorine trifluoride, previously mentioned by @cnocspeireag #15.

    From Ignition! by John Clark:

    It is, of course, extremely toxic, but that’s the least of the problem. It is hypergolic with every known fuel, and so rapidly hypergolic that no ignition delay has ever been measured. It is also hypergolic with such things as cloth, wood, and test engineers, not to mention asbestos, sand, and water-with which it reacts explosively. It can be kept in some of the ordinary structural metals-steel, copper, aluminium, etc.-because of the formation of a thin film of insoluble metal fluoride which protects the bulk of the metal, just as the invisible coat of oxide on aluminium keeps it from burning up in the atmosphere. If, however, this coat is melted or scrubbed off, and has no chance to reform, the operator is confronted with the problem of coping with a metal-fluorine fire. For dealing with this situation, I have always recommended a good pair of running shoes.