I just liked that line, from this story about Jim Bakker claiming his choice of underwear color was a sign from his god. Wait, Jim Bakker is still alive, and still working as a televangelist? That’s more a portent than his underwear, I fear.
He was claiming that because his underwear was black, the world was going to end in September. It is now October, of course, so it’s obvious that his underwear is a false prophet, and must die.
There seems to be a lot of end-of-the-world nonsense going around. Last month’s eclipse was also supposed to be a portent of apocalypse. It fizzled. Now some guy is claiming the world is going to end tomorrow.
I’m not worried yet. I’ll tell you tomorrow what color underwear I’m wearing, and then maybe it will be time to panic.
Generally, your underwear turning black is a sign you need to do laundry more often.
Maybe he should stop buying black underwear
Does a man over 60 wear boxers or briefs?
Depends!
hard to believe Tammy Faye is gone and this criminal is still here . but perhaps he was referring to skidmarks?
#3, Good one.
He wears underwear? Now that I’m over 70 I only do that for Doctor appointments.
#1 “Generally, your underwear turning black is a sign you need to do laundry more often.”
I agree. And when you wash your underwear a lot it tends to turn kinda gray, which is really far more of accurate insight into the future.
It just goes to show you if you want to bring your underwear divinations into line with reality, the secret is
…to give it your All , or perhaps
… to give it your Biz, or perhaps
… to let it all come and go with the Tide, or maybe
…all from another Era?
PZ:
I don’t believe in underwear, all of it is false propheteering, I tell you! Life is better as an Aknickerist, going commando will set you free, oh my yes.
he is either going gaga or he is thinking that the people who still believe him will believe anything and keep sending him the money no matter what he says
uncle frogy
@#9, unclefrogy:
I think that that latter possibility was demonstrated quite a long time ago. Who says that fundamentalists can’t do inductive reasoning?
The world may end tomorrow, but I was not born yesterday.
Well, it’s been Wednesday here for 15.5 hours. We have a few wind-fanned bush fires happening, and someone threatened to shoot up my university, but I don’t see any evidence of the world ending.
My underwear is yellow. What does that mean?
magic underwear? You know, the Mormons just had their big conference! Coincidence? Draw your own conclusions.
Caine @8
Aknickerist!? I am so stealing this! :-)
Armageddon tomorrow and Armageddon yesterday, but never Armageddon today.
Republicans tomorrow and Republicans yesterday, and unfortunately Republicans today.
I agree with John Scalzi: If you predict the end of the world and you’re wrong, you’re thrown into an active volcano.
Seriously.
There was a segment on the kids’n ews about the blood moon doomsday prophecies and my daughter was scared and no matter how much we explained things, she was still worried. I hope she now believes us when we tell her that some idiot predicts the end of the world like any other day.
Failed potty training.
Underwear… Hey… That reminds me… Listen, if anyone needs me, I’m out shopping…
Yep. Armageddon some new socks.
My underwear is black, too, but has an orange button. Obviously, this signifies the glimmering embers of the burning hells awaiting us all. If only I’d worn my blue underwear instead, we’d be drowned rather than burned!
My boxers are grey with pictures of back and white dogs french bulldogs wearing santa hats…. not sure what that portents but it doesn’t seem too ominous.
For some reason, the quote in that story that tickled me the most was “Even my shoes are black.”
Cardinal Shrew “… wearing santa hats…. …”
Ominous??
Ominous!?!?!
I’ll say it’s ominous: it heralds that dark portents of a month or more of [Gasp!!!] Christmassy STUFF!!!!1!
Armageddon sleepy, it’s a quarter to midnight here, after going out to a good play. Sure seems my world is about to end in a deep snore.
Warning. I stumbled to my closet in the dark this morning, and just grabbed random underwear, with my hands guided by a god. I am wearing dark blue underwear and a white t-shirt.
These are the colors of the flags of Finland, Israel, and Quebec. I fear a new triumvirate of evil will rise today, and destroy us all.
Auntbenjy’s comment @12 raises a question I’ve always wanted to ask a doomsayer (never have actually met any): When you say the world is going to end at 6:00 on a Wednesday, which time zone are you talking about? Or does the great Zarquon intend to bring about 24 separate Armageddons?
And what about Newfoundland? Does it get a pass?
Well, I don’t know about Israel or Finland, but, for our coming Federal election, it looks like Quebec may be leaning Conservative and Liberal – which, while not exactly world-destroying, could be bad news for Canadians. But that’s not for a couple of weeks, so doesn’t really count.
Neutrinos count as dark matter, so it is possible he was predicting the Nobel prize!
quotetheunquote, Pakistan has a different time zone, halfway between two ordinary time zones. So when will Pakistan be destroyed? Will Pakistan be only half-destroyed?
—
The underpants of Peter Griffin aka Family Guy have been described as “Jackson Pollock paintings”. What does this portend ???
My underwear today, selected as ever by dint of being on the top of the pile in my underwear drawer, is black. Either this is a portent of doom, or it is entirely unsurprising given that all my underwear is black. Or possibly both.
Oddly, I can now hear the CBC program time announcement thing saying (as emotionlessly as ever): ‘… followed by the end of the world at six, six-thirty in Newfoundland.’
My drawers are beige. The end of the world will be ubiquitous and utterly boring yet compliment most any décor.
@ blf #19
But not brown, so not a total fail. :P
Eep, I can’t count blf is #18. Sorry.
Considering what a blubbering, simpering pus head Bakker turned into when he was arrested back in 1988, he probably wished he hadn’t been wearing his tighty whities that day. Won’t make that mistake again.
PZ at 25: You left out Greece. GREECE, the most ominous portent of imminent and total doom for the U!S!A! of all! Because socialism, Europe, debt, and socialism. Probably especially socialism.
I forgot how to html this so a video doesn’t load on the page. (help?) But this is too good not to share.
Jim Bakker selling doomsday prepper food, you have to see his reaction when he tastes it @ 00:27 second mark. I haven’t laughed that hard in a while.
*Lol I forgot to post the link. Sorry, laughing.
https://youtu.be/PwJaa-TFVSg?t=27s
Mrdead, to not embed the video, either put a line after the video, or embed the video in a sentence with this code:
<a href = “url of video”>word</a> to describe video.
Previewing should show:
word to describe video. (In this case I referenced a html tag site.)
@38 Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls.
Thank you much.
Let me ask, was that funny or am I just weird? Seemed to me like he couldn’t cover his disgust very well. I might just be reading too much into something going down the wrong way though.
I thought the video was relevant too because Mr Myers said “Wait, Jim Bakker is still alive, and still working as a televangelist?” Yes he is after a fashion, that doomsday prepper outfitting stuff can be a very profitable business.