I’ll be flying off to Mars as soon as I’m done masturbating


I laughed a long time at this silly complaint from an MRA, so I had to share.

thecure

As ridiculous as my statement is going to sound,

You know, whenever someone starts out an essay this way, it’s pretty much guaranteed to be ridiculous. This will be no exception.

I’m pretty sure that Anita is trying to prevent us from experiencing the joys of 2D women. The kind of joys many Japanese men who’ve rejected the pig disgusting ways of 3D women already have.

If you find real women disgusting, I don’t think they’re going to be interested in you, much, so that’s one threat to your equilibrium gone. But otherwise, how does anyone prevent you from enjoying porn or cartoons or video games? Go to it, young man!

There is nothing more frightening to these feminists than the idea of a man finding emotional fulfillment through love of a robot, or the idea of a woman as opposed to an actual woman. Most of society is set up to shame men who don’t fall in line, and also fall in love with women. Men who haven’t been approved by women are deemed other, and rejected from society.

I’m not a woman, but I can confidently guess that no woman is going to be frightened by the idea that the creepy guy who curls his lip at the thought of her disgusting existence has retired to his bunk and his collection of Japanese porn games. They’re more likely to feel relief, or even say “Huzzah! I’m happy for you!”

The future waifus, and the Hatsune Miku occulus rift sex experiences take away one of feminism and women’s powerful weapons over the male gender. Their dominance over sexuality.

I don’t even know what those are, and I don’t really want to know. But I haven’t seen much evidence of woman’s dominance over sexuality — it takes two to tango, you know, and that both of the two should have equal say in the matter isn’t repression.

Once man is freed from the institutional forces which oppress him, and force him to find purpose in the approval of women, he will be free to pursue his own dreams.

Wait. Any institutional oppression goes the other way. I think men have always had more liberty to pursue their dreams than women have.

Finally men will have no need to fight over women, as they will have something that replaces them the same way robots have replaced the male industrial work force of the world. Wars will be ended, and we will achieve world peace.

I have never in my life fought over a woman. I can’t quite imagine the situation that would require me to do so.

But perhaps he’s right. Maybe the world would be a more peaceful place if all the frustrated men would just fire up some internet porn and masturbate themselves into unconsciousness.

The masculine will be set free, allowed full creativity, and the world will enter a new enlightened age. We will explore Mars, Jupiter, and the furthest reaches of our solar system. Male and female will be united, working together towards a better future for humanity.

Eww. But 3D women are disgusting, I thought! Your fantasy spaceship to Jupiter is going to be equipped with holographic anime dolls and silicone apertures in all the walls, isn’t it?

I’m missing the leap from better computer sex simulations to new innovations in spaceflight, but then I don’t think this writer has much familiarity with logic, anyway.

But only if we can free ourselves first.

Free ourselves…from what? I have happy, healthy relationships with men and women now, and don’t feel oppressed or disgusted by others — I am dismayed that some of my friends don’t have all the privileges and opportunities I do because of their sex or sexual orientation, but hey, I personally am fairly free already.

I guess I better get to work on my spaceship and world peace.

Comments

  1. says

    I dunno, I really don’t know if I can get onboard for this guy’s new Star Trek reboot. I understand Starfleet takes place in a post-scarcity, equality-empowered techno-future, but still….

    …probably better than the JJ Abrams version, though.

  2. Onamission5 says

    Yes, robots on Mars. That is the perfect location and companion (non-sentient, of course) for the MRA. Go for it, lads. Off with you now, hurry, time’s a-wasting.

  3. says

    Also, expensive masturbation aids and cartoon pornos are going to eliminate sexing?

    ….first time his mom walks in on him whacking it with an occulus rift over his head, this dude’s world is going to explode.

  4. says

    I can sort of see the logical conclusion that virtual sex will solve the world’s problem, if one accepts the premise that all the world’s problems are caused by men not being able to get sex. What baffles me is how one arrives at the premise that the biggest problem in the world is their difficulty at having sex with women while disliking women, especially to the point that it’s apparently the only thing that could cause wars.

    I honestly assumed even most MRAs would have at least heard of famine, disease, and dictatorships*, but I am beginning to be less sure. Or do they think those are caused by feminism and/or women not sleeping with men? O_o

    *I do not expect them to have heard of socio-economic inequality, oppression, history, or anything else involved in conflicts, just the most blatantly obvious stuff they should have heard mentioned at least once or twice.

  5. hoku says

    I’m actually most impressed that he thinks wars are fought over women. Because clearly that’s why we went into Iraq and why the Nazis invaded France.

  6. Moggie says

    The solar system will be explored by guys whose idea of a fulfilling relationship is screwing a 16-year-old anime character in VR? Sorry, guy, I think if manned spaceflight continues it will be with crews with a firmer grasp of reality than you’ve demonstrated.

  7. xmp999 says

    Ok, so he wants to travel to the outer reaches of the solar system while having sex with robots. Fine by me…. That should be a big relief to the “3D women” back on Earth…

  8. Sastra says

    My husband recently started reading a bunch of Jules Verne’s fantasies and mentioned that not only are women characters virtually absent, but the Utopian worlds they create by the sweat of their brows and their massive Victorian intellects don’t seem to contain any women. There’s obviously nothing frustrating about that in any way since it’s never noted by anyone. They’ll even talk about future generations living in comfort on the deserted island they’re improving and ignore the fact that hey, there are no women on this place in the middle of nowhere.

    It doesn’t really read like misogyny or homosexuality. It reads like 19th or early 20th century literature written for preadolescent boys.

    Maybe this gentleman has been reading Jules Verne.

  9. says

    This is classic scapegoating. All of the problems this guy speaks of are real — but they’re mostly perpetuated by other men, not by women. But like nearly all MRAs, this guy can’t bring himself to think honestly about the real causes of his problems, or confront the real causes of them; so he takes the easy, lazy, acceptable way out — blaming women and trying to “free himself” from (i.e., dominate, oppress, punish and/or kick aside) women. One significant way the backward patriarchy perpetuates itself, is by giving the men it cheats the consolation-prize of being able to enslave, abuse, and punish women, so they won’t rise up against their real oppressors instead.

    I’m actually most impressed that he thinks wars are fought over women. Because clearly that’s why we went into Iraq and why the Nazis invaded France.

    There was one guy who bragged of writing a book that showed that all of Afghanistan’s problems were caused by men buying too many gifts for their women. No, I’m not making that up (he is).

  10. gog says

    @Raging Bee #18

    One significant way the backward patriarchy perpetuates itself, is by giving the men it cheats the consolation-prize of being able to enslave, abuse, and punish women, so they won’t rise up against their real oppressors instead.

    It’s way easier to enslave a woman-shaped object, anyway. Or a pixel art representation thereof… that has only the shape and idealized demeanor and gender expression of a human woman. Hey, isn’t that the very basis of objectification? Correct me if I’m wrong…

  11. Nentuaby says

    There is nothing more frightening to these feminists than the idea of a man finding emotional fulfillment through love [..] of the idea of a woman as opposed to an actual woman

    This is pretty well true, though. Just… Not the way he thinks.

  12. jambonpomplemouse says

    They’re always going on about this nonsense. No feminists, outside of the made-up ones inside this dude’s distopian nightmare, are going to stop him from leaving real women alone forever. Please do. Build yourself a girlfriend in your garage and never bother a human woman again, thanks. Although I do agree that if men like him and other MRA’s were all permanently locked away in some sexy lady matrix the rest of the world would be a much better place.

    The idea that men fight wars over women is ludicrous (although, despite the MRA talking point that no woman has ever died or been harmed in a war, women have historically been treated as wartime commodities) since most men in political power have had their fair share of female partners without complaint. Most men also manage to do science or art or whatever they like without constantly obsessing over women to the point that they cannot function. That’s just a problem MRA’s have.

  13. Big Boppa says

    Poor baby. I hope he gets his wish and becomes the proud owner of his very own sexbot. Then I hope it has an electrical malfunction because the designers forgot to make it moisture proof.

  14. azhael says

    Mr.Marlospkm, i have no interest in preventing you from enjoying your paraphilia, except when that infringes on somebody else’s life. If you like to masturbate to cartoon humanoids, that’s totally fine, have at it. However, if what you like is fantasizing about torturing, beating and raping those humanoids, and that leaks in some way into meatspace, don’t be surprised when people speak up.

  15. yuno says

    I think the reason they shy away from real women is because, deep inside, they know they are mentally and emotionally incapable of having meaningful relationships with other human beings. That’s why they have imaginary cartoon girlfriends. That’s why they want sexbots. Because their stunted minds can’t handle real people.

  16. says

    There are a surprising number of men who blame war on the unwillingness of women to sleep with them, at least the unwillingness of women to sleep with said men without a good reason like actually wanting to do it.

    Note that this one leaves out the whole pregnancy and childbirth part. I guess extinction is one way to achieve world peace.

  17. Moggie says

    Won’t Feminist High Command sabotage the sexbot project, now that creepy dude has alerted them?

  18. Rey Fox says

    They’re like forum trolls, they really think they’re depriving the world with their absence. That’s why they will, sadly, never stick the flounce.

  19. Pierce R. Butler says

    I have never in my life fought over a woman. I can’t quite imagine the situation that would require me to do so.

    Our esteemed host’s varied and colorful life has apparently not given him much experience of redneck bars.

  20. latveriandiplomat says

    @12 “Sheesh, you launch a thousand ships because of a pretty face Just One Freaking Time, and suddenly women are the cause of all wars?” –signed Menelaus.

  21. says

    Well…Anita’s point certainly went sailing over someone’s head. Last time I looked, using women as set decoration objects and convenient objects to abuse and kill, well, that’s not anything to do with a person’s sex life.

  22. cartomancer says

    Some of us already have sex lives conducted purely as a solo effort. I can’t see why people talk about it in the future tense – it’s perfectly possible with the technology we have today (and, indeed, have had since we evolved opposable thumbs)!

    But, of course, this one isn’t seriously considering the benefits to be had from a solo sex life. People who do that generally don’t feel the need to talk about it at length on internet forums – we just get on with it.

  23. Azuma Hazuki says

    Is he serious? Oh good grief. Among other things, humans are social animals and we need to bond with other humans. Some robot or some, good lord, virtual reality simulation of a woman will never replace that.

    No, what this horrible neckbeard wants is somewhere to stuff his dick without the responsibility to another human being that a relationship entails. This is someone who doesn’t want a relationship because he can’t possibly handle one, and I can only hope that some part of his greasy Cheetos-encrusted shrivelled little heart understands this.

    It’s very telling that he’s into “moe” (i hate myself for knowing what this means) aesthetic, too. Deep down he’s frightened to death, so he’s fixating on the weak and helpless and underage, which moe always goes hand-in-hand with. I am told the trope started as something akin to “she’s adorable! protect her!” as a pun on “moeru” (to burn, i.e., with passion) and “tomoe” (“sprouting from earth” more or less) but inevitably morphed into the horrible, creepy lolita-complex fetish it’s become.

    Plus, anyone who’s seen “Magnet” knows Miku belongs to Luka anyway. So sorry, creepy pedo-neckbeards, she’s not only underage, she’s taken.

  24. spamamander, internet amphibian says

    @ 34 The most awkward skit in SNL history. I still crack up thinking about the look on Joe Montana’s face.

  25. Al Dente says

    Just because some wanker wants to quietly wank doesn’t mean everyone needs to jump in his shit. It’s not like he’s advertising his need to wank…

    Oh wait.

  26. yuno says

    @Azuma Hazuki – You are so, so right. I wish every single one of those creepy neckbeard losers would get a sexbot of their own, so they’d fuck off and leave the rest of the species alone.

  27. Rey Fox says

    People who do that generally don’t feel the need to talk about it at length on internet forums – we just get on with it.

    Hence my point about the mariospkm’s of the world never sticking the flounce.

    A bit weird that the screengrab is called thecure.png. I mean, I guess it fits with the message therein, but given our esteemed host’s well-known love of the musical oeuvre of Robert Smith et al….

  28. Jackie the social justice WIZZARD!!! says

    ChristineRose,
    The same men dream of artificial wombs and a world where women, unable to rely on men or have access to education and careers all either turn to subservient prostitution or starve in the streets.

    These men without exception believe that they are superior to all women and most men, but that a society controlled by feminists has kept them from achieve their true potential as mighty, revered, kings. Basically, they are bitter and deluded white men who believe the trope that everything is about them and that they are owed a perfect woman as a reward for how awesome they would be, if only they had the privilege white men enjoyed in ages gone by. They dream of an apocalypse that will put them back on top.

    Not one of them thinks that ages ago or in a distopian future that he’d be one of the corpses on which the powerful built their empires.

  29. IX-103 says

    I’ll say it again: “conflating or substituting the drive for companionship with the drive for sex”. If these guys get what they claim to want, they’ll *still* be miserable.

    Note however that I can’t agree with those that wish them ill. I really just wish they’d grow up so they can join civilized society and stop being miserable.

    On a somewhat lighter note:
    How sure are we that the meant explore the planets Mars, Jupiter, etc. and not the Senshi Mars, Jupiter, etc.?

  30. Azuma Hazuki says

    @43: IX-103

    Because Sailor Mars is most likely asexual due to her past life’s vow of celibacy concering Princess Serenity, Sailor Moon’s pre-incarnation (read: “If I can’t have her, I don’t want anyone”) and they all but say Jupiter and Mercury are an item. There is an episode in season 3 which is all about Jupiter’s massive crush on Uranus, the resident soft butch (short hair, motorcycle, the works), and while they don’t outright say Mercury is a lesbian, they really don’t need to considering all the not-even-subtext those two have, from the very first time they meet to that dance scene in season 4…

  31. ludicrous says

    fpj@ 10 “….first time his mom walks in on him whacking it ……”

    Exactly, he is emotionally still living in mom’s basement, his very own adopted “institutional forces which oppress him”. He doesn’t know he doesn’t have to go as far as Mars, just get a place of his own.

    “Once man is freed from the institutional forces which oppress him, and force him to find purpose in the approval of women, he will be free to pursue his own dreams.”

    Yes, at one time our purpose was to have the approval of mom, but that was then.

    A memory that makes me giggle even now was when a girl/woman (don’t recall how old we were) I was dating enlightened me with this trenchant piece of information, probably good that I don’t recall the context, she simply said: “I am not your mother”.

  32. says

    So, we’ll end war and conquer space just as soon as men have free rein to wank ourselves into a coma wearing a VR headset because that’ll remove real women, with their pesky requirements for self-determination and bodily autonomy (#thanksAnita), from the sexual equation, giving us more time to invent the warp drive.

    A year or two ago, nobody really knew who Anita Sarkeesian was, but in that short time she’s managed to ruin both video games AND the male orgasm, literally and forever. She’s either a powerful sorceress or some kind of feminist Mecha-Hitler; either way, the irony here is that she didn’t start out like that – whiny MRA thunderd0uches bestowed that power on her of their own volition. So, if we take their whines at face value, we have to ask: how stupid do you have to be to give someone the power to destroy you? Superman gave Batman a Kryptonite ring just in case Supe got mind-jacked and turned bad, but that was a precaution designed to protect the world – what the fuck are MRAs and #failgaters doing giving Sarkeesian and other feminists the power to reduce their favourite things – games and their cocks – to lifeless sludge?

  33. Lady Mondegreen (aka Stacy) says

    Funny, I read just the title of this post and knew it had to be about an MRA.

  34. sigurd jorsalfar says

    He’s saying if hot young women would just do the sexual bidding of men like him then men like him could devote less time to looking for pornography and complaining about women and more time to advancing knowledge and solving the world’s problems. So it’s all women’s fault that there are still problems that haven’t been solved yet – until the sex robots arrive and make women redundant to men like him.

  35. sigurd jorsalfar says

    The kind of pornography that appeals to Mr MRA is hard to find – because it might just be illegal.

  36. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    Yes, because pornography is so hard to find.

    I’ve heard a rumor there is free porn available on the internet.

  37. eilish says

    I love the way he says “male and female will be united”. Am baffled as to how this is suddenly going to happen, but it’s nice to see an MRA rant that ends on a positive note rather than “and all women will be enslaved in sex camps.”

    Note his assumption that women are not contributing in any way to the betterment of the world. Presumably we are either at home adoring our husbands, undermining men with our feminist scheming, or having sex with people who are not MRAs. (You’d think they’d get a clue from that last one.)

  38. says

    Sexbots would only work for the hardcore MRA types for so long. Either they wouldn’t be realistic enough and the MRAs would get tired of them, or they’d become too realistic. If the latter process went far enough sexbots would end up with enough behaviours sufficiently similar to those of human women to piss the MRAs off.

  39. says

    @63, timgueguen:

    I’m presuming sexbots would only work for MRAs if they could be programmed to make sandwiches and launder bathrobes. No point having a willing receptacle in your house if you still have to cut your own baloney. I can imagine a few MRAs who, if they had a Bonktron 9000 that would satisfy their groinal needs then pour them a scotch and polish their toy skull collection, would be so damned happy they might just quit Youtube and leave decent folks alone.

  40. ceesays says

    may he find happiness with his love robot, since he is in no way equipped to actually deal with people.

  41. says

    The “replace women with submissive robot women” trope is very common in MRA fantasy land. They never seem to consider the fact that the AI required to produce such a thing would probably find them just as repellent as human women. I’m imagining some Gamergater coming home to find that his lovebot has ditched her sexy schoolgirl outfit for comfy jeans and a “This is what a feminist looks like” T-shirt, and is about to leave.

  42. says

    It’d be a nice subversion of the Frankenstein’s monster trope: Dr Fappenstein, MD, MRA, builds his perfect nymphette from the body parts of deceased porn stars, only to have her turn on him once she discovers he’s a far bigger creep than anyone she ever met in the adult entertainment industry. She floats away on an iceberg, by choice because fuck that noise, and lands on the coast of Denmark, where she quickly rises through the ranks of local politics, becomes a union organiser and starts a women’s shelter and sex worker resource centre. Meanwhile, back in the village, Fappenstein’s MRA neighbours assemble to torch the abomination that is a self-aware woman but, finding her absent, tweet insults at the good doctor instead for being such a beta that he couldn’t even keep control of a sex-zombie, and make fun of his “gay mid-face”.

  43. Monsanto says

    This guy isn’t talking about love robots. He likes sex with 2D Japanese cartoons. It’s just a stage in his development. Eventually, he’ll discover the 3D world of inflatable Betty and all will copasetic and at last we’ll have world peace.

  44. loopyj says

    If he wants to live amongst the perfect 2D women, shouldn’t his goal be to become 2D himself? Clearly he’s most of the way already.

    @68 Hank_Says: That was an impressive treatment.

  45. odin says

    hyperdeath @ 67, Hank_Says @ 68:

    That is an awesome sci-fi story in the making. Someone needs to write that up as at the very least a short story…

  46. Owlmirror says

    odin @75:

    hyperdeath @ 67, Hank_Says @ 68:
     
    That is an awesome sci-fi story in the making. Someone needs to write that up as at the very least a short story…

    Tatsuya Ishida has been including themes very much like that in his sinfest.net (but not always sequentially).

    A few examples:

    http://sinfest.net/view.php?date=2013-02-10
    http://sinfest.net/view.php?date=2013-02-15
    http://sinfest.net/view.php?date=2013-02-16
    http://sinfest.net/view.php?date=2013-02-24
    http://sinfest.net/view.php?date=2013-03-11
    http://sinfest.net/view.php?date=2013-03-24

  47. llyris says

    @ Azuma Hazuki #36

    what this horrible neckbeard wants is somewhere to stuff his dick without the responsibility to another human being

    And yet his hand is apparently not good enough for him, and neither are the many wondrous aids that are already available for purchase.

    @ williamgeorge #62

    Mars, you say?

    I’m gonna have to masturbate harder I guess because I barely make it to the patio.

    You win the thread :) …although if I may make a suggestion, a young man I had been enthusiastically teasing for several hours did manage a surprisingly long distance in the end. Do you think it’s against the rules to start from very high altitude rather than in the lounge room?

  48. says

    …They never seem to consider the fact that the AI required to produce such a thing would probably find them just as repellent as human women.

    Given that any such robot would almost surely be connected to the Internet 24/7, and would thus be susceptible to hacking, both by people and by other AIs, there’s really no limit to what could plausibly happen.

    That is an awesome sci-fi story in the making. Someone needs to write that up as at the very least a short story…

    First draft already done, revisions in progress now. Working title: “A War Hero and His Pseudobiological Partner are Arrested for Treason.” You’re welcome.

  49. eggmoidal says

    If you substitute “feminist” for “communist” in this clip, it almost sounds like a present day MRA. Especially at the 2:34 mark.

  50. says

    But perhaps he’s right. Maybe the world would be a more peaceful place if all the frustrated men would just fire up some internet porn and masturbate themselves into unconsciousness.

    Anyone prepared to act as my control?