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Feb 14 2013

The Third Eagle of the Apocalypse prophesies again

You know this guy.

So we have a prophecy from Psy’s Gangnam Style video that the next Pope will endorse Obamacare (MARK OF THE BEAST!) and unveil the anti-christ. Yeaaaah.

I’m more worried about the hidden prophecy in his videos that we will all grow old and weird and cranky. Especially since there are signs that I’m fulfilling that prophecy.

40 comments

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  1. 1
    janiceintoronto

    Oh! Oh! Can I be the AntiChrist? Please, oh please oh please!!!

    I need the money…

    Your friend,

    Janice in Toronto

  2. 2
    irisvanderpluym

    Growing old (and weird and cranky) usually beats the alternative.

  3. 3
    catbutler

    I feel sorry for his niece.

  4. 4
    mudskipper

    Sorry, Janice in Toronto. You are disqualified on account of your gender. Only a male can have the importance and stature the role requires. You could, however, play a supporting role. You could be the AntiChrist’s mother. Or his girlfriend and ride on the back of his Harley.

  5. 5
    Jafafa Hots

    I agree with him when he says the next pope will almost certainly be a false prophet.

  6. 6
    Peggy

    You just know that someone at that wedding has the job of keeping the bride’s nutty uncle from talking to anyone.

  7. 7
    Brain Hertz

    So, if I understand correctly, the next Pope will be… Psy? Or am I not getting all of the subtle nuance here?

  8. 8
    Usernames are smart

    Why are these guys afraid of the “anti-Christ”?

    I would think they’d be dancing in the streets because it would mean Rapture is coming Real Soon Now and they (virgin males) are about to go to heaven.

  9. 9
    =8)-DX

    I thought there’s actually some “legit” prophesy of Benedict being the last pope before the antichrist. One of those Fatima prophesies or somesuch. And it’s all because Russia hasn’t been consecrated to the sacred heart of ourVirgin Mary (of Fatima). Or whatever (they already did consecrate Russia, just not well enough for the zealots).

  10. 10
    bortedwards

    Just made the mistake of watching some of his other ‘work.’ Blimey what an ego! Does self idolatry not count as worshiping false idols??

  11. 11
    Thorne

    Something that always bothered me about prophecy: if you use the prophecy to avoid the effects of the prophecy, doesn’t that void the prophecy, thereby making the prophet a false prophet? And if you don’t, or can’t, do anything to avoid the prophecy, what’s the point of having it in the first place? Do these people really want to know the date, hour and manner of their death?

  12. 12
    Antares42

    Man, what a letdown.

    I thought I was in for a cool parody video, and instead I get antichrist bullshit babbling.

    Whatever:

    Eh, sexy lady
    Op, op, op, op
    Oppa POPE RESIGNS!

  13. 13
    glodson

    This… this is meant to be serious? I just watched the video without any context, and I thought it was pretty funny, but it appears that he’s being serious…

    I watched his video on the Super Bowl Blackout. Now I just got to wait about 3 and half years to see him backtrack.

  14. 14
    tsig

    You’d think he could have made it up to Second Eagle by now.

  15. 15
    fabianocaccin

    You don’t have to be old to be weird and cranky (OT)

    Sorry for the font size! HTML hates me.

  16. 16
    PZ Myers

    Yes, he’s serious. I’ve put up a few of his videos in the past, and they’re all the same calm (and sometimes horribly musical) advocacy of utter lunacy.

  17. 17
    bortedwards

    someone (with no life) could easily take his age, number of letters in name, number of video posts etc and demonstrate that HE is in fact the antichrist/false prophet…

  18. 18
    glodson

    Well, I’ve bookmarked that channel. The next time anyone asks me why I’m happier as an atheist, I’ll send them that way with the note: “This is why.”

    It is refreshing to no longer feel embarrassed for sharing the same belief in a magical sky wizard that this man… says stuff about. I can’t even joke about it as there’s nothing I could write that would be anywhere near as incoherent as that.

    Actually, I’m going to check the comments. I’m sure I’ll find some fresh helpings of stupid in there.

  19. 19
    raven

    Pope will endorse Obamacare (MARK OF THE BEAST!) and unveil the anti-christ.

    According to some Lutherans, the WELS, the Pope is the antichrist.

    When the antichrist isn’t being Obama. Or Richard Dawkins. Or Bishop Spong. Or anyone they don’t like at the moment.

    The antichrist can timeshare and move around

  20. 20
    Nick Gotts

    I thought there’s actually some “legit” prophesy of Benedict being the last pope before the antichrist. =8-DX

    The so-called “Prophecy of the Popes of St Malachi”. Each Pope is assigned a brief phrase or sentence. The prophecies actually seem to have been written around 1590 (Malachi was 12th century) and are notably more impressive with regard to Popes before when it was actually written than later ones.

  21. 21
    kestrel

    I had a very religious neighbor who was absolutely convinced that Yasser Arafat was the antichrist. She was even selling most of her stuff, she was so convinced. I’m sure it was a blow to her faith when he died.

    So this “prophecy” might make at least one person happy.

  22. 22
    Giliell, professional cynic -Ilk-

    He’s also never ever discouraged by failing.
    2012 ended without WWIII and Iran nuking Israel and he’s still unmoved.
    But isn’t claiming that the next Pope’ll be a False Prophet™ pretty much treason in the RCC?

  23. 23
    jnorris

    He needs a theme song we can all sing at birthday parties and between drinking games. Please someone write an appropriate musical piece and send it to Cuttlefish for lyrics.

  24. 24
    Steven Brown: Man of Mediocrity

    Personally I’d find it easier to write music to lyrics.

  25. 25
    gardengnome

    I couldn’t concentrate on the inane babbling – I kept staring at that crooked lampshade!

  26. 26
    ck

    A prophecy based on Psy’s Gangnam Style video. Now I really have heard everything.

  27. 27
    michaelvester

    I really can’t mock this old man. Obviously, he is suffering from some form of dementia. Probably incontinent of urine and feces too.

  28. 28
    laurie

    This has been bothering me today. Is Third Eagle of the Apocalypse a hereditary position, or do you have to study for it? Did he have anything to do with the disappearance of the first two EoA, or are they still around somewhere, perhaps finding their own favorite K-pop song to prophesize?

    I had too much free time today.

  29. 29
    Charlie Foxtrot

    Hmmm. I’m catching up with Dexter Season 6 right now – so old blokes who are convinced the End Times are here are kinda concerning right now.
    I wonder if he gave a speech at the wedding? That would have been … uplifting, I’m sure.

  30. 30
    profpedant

    Tertio Aquila Apocalypsis (his title sounds better in Latin) was talking about some chap named Enik. I wonder if he was talking about the Enik from the original series – who mostly seemed to be a pretty decent guy, or the Enik from the movie – who was pretty much a jerk. One would think that someone astute enough to discern a Biblical prophecy in Gangnam Style would appreciate the importance of being clear which Enik is talking to him.

  31. 31
    StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    @27. michaelvester :

    I really can’t mock this old man. …

    Oh sure you can ..

    Obviously, he is suffering from some form of dementia. Probably incontinent of urine and feces too.

    .. Aaannnnnd you just did.

    Fair enough too. Pathetic but he is putting this embarrasing shite on youtube. Pity his family maybe.

  32. 32
    John Morales

    [meta]

    StevoR:

    Fair enough too.

    No, it’s not.

    Not even slightly fair.

    (And you were doing so well, until that point)

  33. 33
    vaiyt

    The last 15 years have been fun for those who wanted to see prophets making fools of themselves.

  34. 34
    Tigger_the_Wing, Back home =^_^=

    I’m sorry, I laughed. That was funny enough to be a great parody.

    Then I read the comments here. He’s real?! I thought he was trying to be Mr. Deity, although not very well.

    Gangnam style?!

  35. 35
    andyo

    Holy shit, I was going to say for those asking themselves about Gangnam Style that the guy had another previous GS video in which he explains the “yellow guy” (bad choice of words, I guess) and Psy’s dancing around. But as it turns out dude has a whole fucking playlist.

  36. 36
    onkelfritze

    And here I thought ‘false prophet’ was basically the pope’s job description.

  37. 37
    janiceintoronto

    mudskipper on 14 February 2013 at 8:40 am

    No, you don’t understand. I’m a dyke who has her OWN motorcycle. I can kick ass with even the toughest anti-christs! Really! I am very, very tough and nasty and mean and love fresh baby flesh.
    But a Harley? ARRRGGHH! Now that’s just nasty…

    Your friend,
    Janice in Toronto

  38. 38
    speed0spank

    If I am alive to see this country pass some kind of universal healthcare I will certainly enjoy listening to these kind of clowns try to explain why treating all the sick people regardless of their finances is somehow the devil’s work.

  39. 39
    Useless

    Yes, God has given this man a profound ability to read events in prophecy. We need only look at what he saw in the Superbowl and the deep implications of Gangnam Style. I’ll bet most of us never saw it coming, but how can you argue with his rigorous reasoning based on undeniable facts? This can only have come from astute mathematical training.

    And then again…

  40. 40
    Dave, ex-Kwisatz Haderach

    Yeah well I’m the Twelfth Aardvark of the Renaissance, and I say everythings gonna be sunshine and roses and unicorns and happy. The religious will abandon their beliefs, and the bigots will abandon their hatred. It will be the dawn of the Golden Age of Reason. And I know this because the Invisible Pink Space Unicorn has told me so himself. What do you say to that Mr Eagle?

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