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Criminals! Every one of you!

This is the law under which Aaron Swartz was persecuted. Remember this: you are guilty, guilty, guilty, every one of you, and the law consists of sifting through all the crimes you have committed and deciding which one they can use this time.

computercriminal

(via Tom the Dancing Bug, obviously.)

Comments

  1. unbound says

    But, if I’ve never read the Terms of Service, and I claim to be really naive, won’t that get me off the hook? Or does that only apply to statutory rape?

  2. rr says

    With everyone a criminal, how does one decide who to prosecute? I guess government officials will just have to rely on political and/or religious ideology for guidance. Except for whistleblowers of course, they are automatically first in line.

  3. says

    Greetings citizens! Your friend, The Computer, has dispatched a team of Troubleshooters to your location to investigate reports of treasonous activity in this sector. Please cooperate fully with the Computer’s duly empowered Troubleshooters, they have only your best interests at heart. After the interviews, survivors will be relocated at their own expense.

  4. crocodoc says

    @theophontes:

    Judge Death says:

    This city is guilty,
    the crime is life,
    the sentence is death,
    darkness descends

    Who does not feel reminded of this all-loving belief that we appreciate so much around here?

  5. briank says

    Citizen,
    You have been found guilty of treason. Please report to your nearest disintegration booth. Failure to do so is treason and punishable by disintegration.

    The Computer is your friend, you evil traitor. Have a nice day.

  6. Snoof says

    The Holy Inquisition of the Imperium of Man – All men are Guilty. Only The Depth Varies

    A plea of innocence is guilty of wasting my time. — Inquisitor Lord Fyodor Karamazov

  7. Alexander the Good Enough says

    Much too true to be any kind of funny. When some new rule or law is proposed, or worse enacted, and especially if it’s “for everyone’s protection,” I too often I hear someone defend it saying “I’m not concerned because I’m not doing anything wrong!” WRONG! Buddy, you do not get to decide what is right or wrong. That prerogative belongs to Big Brother, and thinking you are “right” is no defense. Remember, it’s all about what’s legal or not legal; “right” vs. “wrong” has no standing in court. Moreover, in most cases, one simply gets the justice one can afford. Sorry if this sounds like right-wing paranoia, but they sometimes do, occasionally, have a point.

    “Anyone not paranoid in this world must be crazy. . . . Speaking of paranoia, it’s true that I do not know exactly who my enemies are. But that of course is exactly why I’m paranoid.”
    ― Edward Abbey

  8. Rip Steakface says

    Citizen,
    You have been found guilty of treason. Please report to your nearest disintegration booth. Failure to do so is treason and punishable by disintegration.

    The Computer is your friend, you evil traitor. Have a nice day.

    And remember, happiness is mandatory.

  9. Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :) says

    Sorry if this sounds like right-wing paranoia, but they sometimes do, occasionally, have a point.

    Are you nuts? The right-wingers are the main ones pushing this.

  10. says

    I’m a long time fan of this blog but I’m disappointed that it spouts the simplified arguments of those who wants everything to be free. How about being paid for your labour? I know that Google et. al. wants you to pay for their technological solutions while trying to keep the content or if I may call it, the labour of artists free. I’m a bit dissappointed that Pharyngula has bought into the simplified arguments of the freehadists…

  11. DLC says

    Rep. Zoe Lofgren (D, CA) has proposed “Aron’s Law” which would exclude Terms of Service Violations from the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act.
    I urge all of you to write your representative and demand that they back this bill, when it should be introduced into the House.
    for details, see http://lofgren.house.gov/
    there is a link to the bill draft text there.

  12. Crudely Wrott says

    Well, that does it for me. I’m a goner.
    What with AdBlock and Ghostery and whatnot I never even see the rules that I break.
    Pray for me, my friends . . .

  13. says

    @Haakon Thunestvedt: That was a bizarre little rant that had nothing to do with this article or any of the comments following it. Still, you got to insult people over some imagined slight, so I guess you feel better now.

  14. Crudely Wrott says

    Imagine. Not doing what an unrequested and unrequired whatchamacallit tells me to do. I tell ya, it’s the road to ruin. Learn from my folly. Emulate me.

  15. Caveat Imperator says

    I am an ultraviolet. This website has some ultraviolet backgrounds, such as the one I am typing this comment in. Unless you are also ultraviolets, this website is above your clearance, and reading it is treason. Please report to your nearest termination chamber and have a fantastic daycycle!

  16. says

    I’m a long time fan of this blog but I’m disappointed that it spouts the simplified arguments of those who wants everything to be free. How about being paid for your labour?

    the only item in the OP of even remote relevance to your rant is the mention of Arron Swartz. Who was being harassed for releasing publicly funded research. By scientists who don’t make a dime from keeping their papers behind a firewall and selling them instead of publishing them for free (quite the contrary). Because scientists are paid for their labor, not for the sale of the end-results (which is how we should pay all creative workers anyway, but that’s beside the point).

    Meaning, you don’t seem to have the faintest clue what you’re ranting against

  17. Ichthyic says

    I’m a long time fan of this blog but I’m disappointed that it spouts the simplified arguments of those who wants everything to be free.

    no, it’s your response that is simple-minded, if you really think this issue has to do with people wanting free stuff.

    run along and play, but not on the internet. you don’t deserve that freedom.

  18. David Marjanović says

    How about being paid for your labour?

    What Jadehawk said. Aaron Swartz downloaded scientific articles, and scientists do not get royalties when their work is published. Most journals even require that authors sign over the copyright to the journal! Publishers profit when scientific journals (or individual pdfs) are sold; scientists do not.

    Indeed, there are journals where authors have to pay to publish; in most journals, pages above a certain (though reasonable) number cost page charges; and color pictures… the one in my first paper cost my thesis supervisor’s institution nine hundred US dollars, and that’s perfectly normal.

    Which is exactly why scientists are happy to send pdfs of their papers to anyone who e-mails them and doesn’t seem like an asshole. Unless, of course, you happen to encounter the kind of scientist that doesn’t read e-mails.