I am dismayed. Freethoughtblogs has been accused of being a den of Feminazis, Femistasi, totalitarian thought, and being equivalent to a totalitarian state, by no less a person than Paula Kirby. This is terrible news!
We aren’t ready! The interrogation rooms haven’t even been furnished, all the razorwire is sitting in spools and hasn’t been deployed, and we haven’t even settled on the final design for the uniforms. I mean, we’ve picked the colors (black, of course, with blood red highlights), but we’re bickering over the retro and dapper 1940s look, or this spectacular futuristic art deco Ming the Merciless style. They both look so fabulous it’s impossible to make up our minds. We have settled on the symbol: skulls — absolutely required — and tentacles.
But it’s not enough and we’re nowhere near prepared! I’ve had to spend my evening browsing through military surplus catalogs — it’s amazing what you can buy online — to get the gear for the 1st Pharyngula Panzer Division, since as you all know, fashion is more important than guns for a good solid popular fascist movement, so we waited until the last moment. We’re going to have to settle for some rather marginal tanks, I’m afraid, but it should be adequate to roll over the Dakotas and Wisconsin, especially since they don’t suspect a thing, and once we’ve seized a few depots we can upgrade. But still! We had a goddamned timetable (you know how we fascists love our timetables), and this just messes them all up!
Oh, well.
Say, if I put up a chipin widget or create a kickstarter to build a war machine, you’ll all contribute, right? We’ll take your name off the purge list if you do!
And, well, you all know what will happen to you if you don’t.
PZ Myers says
The previously scheduled ‘shrooms and acid party is postponed until we’ve pierced the hearts of our foes and overthrown the feeble opposition. It’s all meth and the blood of our enemies instead.
julian says
I have always been in favor of building doomsday machines, Prof. Myers.
I am honestly shocked you don’t already own several massive mechanized instruments of destruction. How did you earn the title “Profesor” without them. Aren’t they sorta like a prerequisite?
unbound says
Oooh…like the symbol. Can we get them custom engraved on the panzers?
Erista (aka Eris) says
Femistasi? That I’ve never heard before.
Josh, Official SpokesGay says
I’ll get into my Janeway Arachnia, Queen of the Spider People costume. That means I expect stepped chrome and faux-Oriental decor. And the environment better damned well be in black and white Myers.
PZ Myers says
Engraved on the panzers? True sons and daughters of the FtB empire will have it tatooed on their breasts!
Caine, Fleur du mal says
Hey, as one of the tentacled warriors in the Dakotas, be sure to mark my place as a depot/meeting place, will ya? Besides, my kitchen is red & black. Camo.
Mattir says
So should the knitted sammich makers instead switch to knitted tank cozies? I hate it when you go changing plans on us mid-knitting.
ququine says
“Dave, stop. Stop, will you? Stop, Dave. Will you stop, Dave? Stop, Dave. I’m afraid. I’m afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going.”
Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says
Black and red? I might able to do that with winter weight clothes, but the Redhead can only do charcoal and reddish-pink at the moment. Is that good enough?
Josh, Official SpokesGay says
Can we put Pterryx in charge of the air division? Those talons would be mighty useful.
Improbable Joe says
I own a sword and a handgun and a metric shit-ton of knives, and I sort of know how to work a howitzer, and really know how to aim one.
So.. can I work in the doomsday kitchen? I’d like to avoid the purge list while getting regular hot showers.
"We Are Ing The Matrimonial Collective" says
who?
otrame says
Looks like we have the logo for our new atheist guild for Guild Wars 2. We haven’t settled on a name yet, but it will go well with either “Godless” or “Evil Little Things”.
julian says
What if we already have tattoos on our chests? Can we opt out and get it as a sleeve instead?
rhysmorgan says
See, PZ, if you were younger, it would be excusable to be wrong.
At least, that’s what Paula said about me earlier.
"We Are Ing The Matrimonial Collective" says
Cross posted due to lazyness
“Well done! She’s used the most vacuous of arguments of theists, yet like many a atheist who winds up doing the exact same bullshit as their theist cousins believes that somehow it’s ok if they do it because they’re rational! Sounds like another graduate of the “I figured out my imaginary friend is imaginary and thus crown myself King Shit of Fuck Mountain” school of activism.”
otrame says
*Looks smug because her knitted Dalek will fit right in with the newly-announced plan. No scrambling to deal with stacks of knitted foodstuffs*
raven says
PZ is a biologist!!!
They lean more towards viruses that produce super-Zombies, cat eating land squids, and 2 ton church mice.
Crip Dyke, MQ, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says
@Improbable Joe #15
I’d be careful of those showers unless you’re really, really certain ofyour position in the movement…
…….
Paula Kirby – isn’t that the name that the guy who first drew the Fantastic Four took on after transition?
I can’t think of any other Kirbys that would be illustrious…
"We Are Ing The Matrimonial Collective" says
Say what you will about Feminazis, but if we’re anything like the original Nazi’s we will have awesome fashion sense.
'Tis Himself says
Excuse me, but as the Chief Economic Officer of The Godless Horde™, I have to express my concerns. I have set up a specific schedule to finance our takeover of Wisconsin (nobody ever mentioned the Dakotas to me, this is yet another case of vital personnel being kept out of the loop). Right now we cannot afford to take over La Crosse, WI, let alone the rest of the state.
You will have to push your plans back at least 18 months. Either that, or start begging on the streets because that is the only way we can flex our atheist muscles.
PZ Myers says
Wait, Rhys Morgan — you’ve been granted a get-out-of-jail-free card by Paula Kirby! RAMPAGE!
Improbable Joe says
@Crip Dyke #20
…which is why I’m not giving up the gun, sword, and knives! I should be OK, because I make a mean sammich. :)
'Tis Himself says
But their caps had skulls on them!
Josh, Official SpokesGay says
Wow. Just wow. Some dude on twitter is saying Ophelia is “rounding up the FtB bullies” and Paula’s like, “I only mind hostility from those I respect.”
Jesus Christ – what is wrong with her?
chigau (違う) says
OT
I, for one, am happy to see the return of Fay Crawford.
Sastra says
Dang. I got the memo, but I thought freethoughtblogs being “Totalitarian” had something to do with whole grain wheat flakes with 100% nutrition for a healthy body. Interrogation rooms and uniforms? Razorwire and tanks? Fine. Now what am I going to do with all these boxes of cereal?
Shows what I know.
Josh, Official SpokesGay says
.
LOL. I think of her as Joan Dunaway. Which is MY drag name and no one else can have it.
John Morales says
Ruthlessly enforcing the rule that participation is voluntary is no easy thing!
(Dreadfully ruthless, is PZ)
A. Z. Darkheart (liar and scoundrel) says
PZ:
Shit, that space is already taken!
Well, I guess I can just add tentacles to the skull and crossbones….
Improbable Joe:
Being a pacifist seriously puts a cramp in what I can do for our
SquidlyFeminazi Overlord.You need a sous chef, Joe?
A. Z. Darkheart (liar and scoundrel) says
Me:
Or a baker?
Skull and tentacle cupcakes comin’ right up!
"We Are Ing The Matrimonial Collective" says
Yes yes she is so open minded about the issue.
I suspect soon we’ll have to face the fact that skepticism will become a defacto religion.
Josh, Official SpokesGay says
It’s like she’s got Abbie Smith syndrome. Since her way of coping with endemic sexism is to be brazen and refuse to be cowed (which is fine), therefore every other woman who hasn’t had her experiences or can’t do what she does is weak or a liar. And she turns them off.
God it’s a disgusting spectacle.
Improbable Joe says
Audley:
Sure the sous chef job is yours, if you can recommend a good pastry chef. Armies march on their stomachs, and everyone loves sweets.
julian says
You could try for armorer. Just have to be ok with facilitating wanton destruction. No actual killing required.
"We Are Ing The Matrimonial Collective" says
We have openings in artillery…now get in the canon!
Josh, Official SpokesGay says
And I’m thinking, “What has he got against won tons? And how would you destroy them?”
#chronicMisreading
"We Are Ing The Matrimonial Collective" says
Also I’m going to suggest we make a sweets golem like from Doctor Who.
Naked Bunny with a Whip says
An army runs on its stomachs, and I still haven’t gotten a sammich. You expect me to get out of my recliner and make it myself?
Hurinomyces bruxellensis says
Oh come on.
Panzers?
Razorwire?
Spiffy art deco uniforms?
I thought we were a proper horde here, which suggests pack horses and ragged leather armor and campfires, and a charismatic barbarian leader with a golden cephalopod emblazoned on his shield.
All this futuristic Orwell crap is harshing my fantasy nerd buzz.
PZ Myers says
Paula Kirby is so perceptive. She has realized that our mocking her hyperbole is exactly like battering her with our billy clubs! I guess we are bullies; just like when that kid twice my size jumped on me and knocked me flat in 3rd grade, and I bullied him by telling him he was an asshole, through my tears. Yeah, I was such a bully.
And I continue my bullying ways now.
Improbable Joe says
It reminds me of the accommodationist asshats. If THEY want to be overly polite and cooperative with theists, more power to them. Unfortunately, that isn’t enough for them and they only feel validated by shitting on people who don’t share their position. I don’t know what’s wrong with Kirby or Smith, but they seem to share that same need to bring themselves up by tearing other people down. That would just be sad for them if they weren’t so destructive towards everyone else.
"We Are Ing The Matrimonial Collective" says
@Hurinomyces
Pretend it’s made by gnomes
"We Are Ing The Matrimonial Collective" says
I’m sure her fans will send some more threatening letters or abusive rants to OB and RW and the like to show how much they hate bullying.
skeptifem says
Amazing. But ophelia is the *real* bully here, right? I can’t imagine how shitty things must be for her right now. No one ever quit the “kick her in the cunt” meme, and then she got called a faker (about the threats) and now a nazi. She has just been responding to this massive pile of shit, and now someone else has decided it would be fun to add to that pile.
can we send all these assholes back to middle school or something?
Improbable Joe says
PZ,
+1 on the bullshit redefinition of “bullying” meaning “disagreeing with them”… I can’t think of one of us here who hasn’t been bullied, and agreeing with each other and disagreeing with them doesn’t do them ANY FUCKING HARM.
Josh, Official SpokesGay says
I wish I could even find it funny, because it enrages me. It’s the same goddamned thing as these horrific Christian dominionists claiming I’m the bully for calling them what they are: Bigots. When they’re trying to restrict my legal rights, make sure I can get fired or kicked out of my apartment, all the way down to opposing my right to make funeral arrangements for a same-sex partner.
I’m the bully for protesting. It’s so fucking perverse and horrible.
a3kr0n says
I wouldn’t go as far as Paula Kirby, but I’ve lost most of my interest in the “atheist movement” after reading about this subject for a year now.
Not that anyone gives a rat’s ass…
dianne says
Once we take over the world can I have the NIH if I promise to make funding of hideous squid/human hybrid clones a top priority?
Mattir says
SonSpawn has a good replica Viking battle ax and spear, as well as a WWI Colt 1911 and a black powder muzzleloader that we can contribute to the cause. DaughterSpawn and I, alas, have only our hunting knives, but we can field dress moose (and the more prosaic sheep). Well, we also have a lot of knitting needles and can make string/rope stuff for the cause.
Really, this is just pathetic. Why does the non-theist community contain such shards of unreason? It is not exactly rocket science that social justice concerns are of logical interest to people who believe they only have one life, and if a substantial minority of members do not want to participate because of unwanted sexual advances and threats, this is an obvious problem (well, obvious to me).
julian says
@Hurinomyces
He’s got the beard! What more could you ask for?
"We Are Ing The Matrimonial Collective" says
Bingo. Fucking dogmatists. What’s funny is now we see people preform gratuitous logical fallacies or personality flaws (such as projection) while turning around and talking about those exact flaws in other people. Firm proof I think that Formal Skepticism has accomplished both Jack and Shit when it comes to promoting critical thinking.But then again what more can you expect from a club house that sits around congratulating themselves for being so smart as to not think a hubcap on a string is a real alien ship.
Mattir says
Ak3ron, whatever happened to your flounce? We were hoping you’d stick it…
skeptifem says
josh
haha me too! I let myself get wayyy too hungry.
One time I had to look up a patient for a dr on the phone, and instead of “duncan” I put “dunkin”, like the fucking donuts. wtf.
—————-
Anyway, I don’t think women had many jobs in the fascist war machine. I know german women who had a certain number of kids (or more) got medals though. Weird how the part about gender essentialism and traditional gender roles always gets left out of comparing feminists to nazis…
'Tis Himself says
a3kr0n #49
You got that part right.
"We Are Ing The Matrimonial Collective" says
You’re right we really really don’t.
But please feel free to continue telling everyone how little you care at every conceivable opportunity like a giant toddler looking for a nappy change.
ququine says
PZ, is Paula twice your size?
PZ Myers says
‘Tis, I know, but we had to change the plan. We fascists always have to fight our wars on two fronts, or we’re accused of being wimpy.
Besides, chipin? Kickstarter? Won’t those help?
Noadi says
The problem with that approach (which is how I generally do things) is that it REALLY gets exhausting after a while. You want some spaces where you don’t have to be that way so you won’t go crazy.
"We Are Ing The Matrimonial Collective" says
They’re quoting Rush Limbaugh, so sense should not be expected.
Oh and because it might bare repeating “ASSHOLES, YOU’RE PARROTING RUSH LIMBAUGH!!! WAY TO BE INDIVIDUAL FREE THINKERS!”
"We Are Ing The Matrimonial Collective" says
BAH! If you want that you become a really liberal christian or a pagan! We don’t put up with that bullshit here in Skepticism!
'Tis Himself says
OMFSM, they’re dittoheads.
skeptifem says
why the fuck do you keep reading it then? I tend to skip posts that aren’t interesting to me.
"We Are Ing The Matrimonial Collective" says
@Tis
Over on Benson’s blog we have one who says “well I don’t want to be like Rush…So let’s think up a replacement slur for feminazi so we can silence those bad people who shut down dialogue!”
This is the level of thought from Skepticism apparently.
skeptifem says
plus some dudes see it as a challenge, so you either have to pretend really egregious shit doesn’t matter or your whole reputation breaks down.
its a lot of pretending though, thats for sure.
julian says
That’s right! We are tough. Ballsy!
*spits and beats chest*
Now, who will join in a Man of War cigar? hmmm? Perhaps some whiskey on the rocks?
…
Actually that sounds heavenly. Really should’ve bought a couple more cigars when I had the money. Ah well…
skeptifem says
ing
haha what? they need *new* slurs for women? I thought you could fill a fucking book with the current number of slurs. I guess its just a matter of finding one that makes them feel smarter than yelling “cunt”?
Caine, Fleur du mal says
Go the fuck away already, you fuckwit. All you have ever fucking done here is whine. Stick your godsdamn flounce already.
Josh, Official SpokesGay says
I hate people so fucking much.
"We Are Ing The Matrimonial Collective" says
@Skeptifem
I don’t like anything associated with Limbaugh…except acting just like him and embracing an issue he hates with the same pig headed ignorance!
Josh, Official SpokesGay says
And why-WHY-is Ophelia Benson, of all people, their favorite target? What is it about her that’s like red meat to them? I’m serious—I don’t get it. She gets barely less hate than Rebecca Watson.
'Tis Himself says
Josh
I hate some people so fucking much.
FIFY
Josh, Official SpokesGay says
No, ‘Tis, you didn’t FIFM. I’m feeling really misanthropic right now. Leave me to my hyperbole:)
Caine, Fleur du mal says
Ing:
Oh, I can hardly wait. Then again, when you commenters like ICKD* over at TF’s, it’s obvious their imagination is terribly limited.
*International Cunt Kicking Day. They are just so darn cute.
"We Are Ing The Matrimonial Collective" says
Oh also before the next person comes in being all concerned and tone deaf let me just get this clear
Ahem
It doesn’t matter what “SHOULD be” or what the “mature” thing is. This is now a shouting match. If you don’t like it there’s plenty of other places on the net; some of them have cats doing people things, others have pornographic drawings of Doctor Who characters. Regardless of what you think the issue is and how people should deal with it this is what we got. It is already a shouting match, you’re not going to change it. The debate over whether it should be pistols at dawn or fisticuffs is long over and all your comment can do now is add more noise. So if you don’t like all the yelling, please remain silent and don’t add more noise. Please sit over here, enjoy a picture of a Dalek doing suggestive things with it’s plunger, and wait to see who loses their voice first. Thank you.
"We Are Ing The Matrimonial Collective" says
Because screaming prude and sex police at Gretta would be too stupid even for them?
'Tis Himself says
Josh,
I know the feeling. I’m trying to laugh so I don’t cry.
"We Are Ing The Matrimonial Collective" says
@Tis
I’m with Josh, even without sexism there’s enough other bullshit in Skeptic Inc that would make me want to kick it in the shins if it were a person.
Social Justice
Racism
Muslims
Trans Rights
Caine, Fleur du mal says
‘Tis:
Right about now, I’m just going with numb…
"We Are Ing The Matrimonial Collective" says
@Caine
Have you become comfortably numb?
julian says
But they do it. Blackford even called all of FtB as an anti-sex zone.
Honestly they just love to hurt and malign people. I hope Kirby, Blackford, Mayhew and the rest enjoy the company of the people they’ve emboldened and supported. Someone somewhere should get something out of this.
"We Are Ing The Matrimonial Collective" says
@Julian
Of course they do! They all don’t believe in Bigfoot! That makes them geniuses!
gonna call it, Skeptic is the new Mensa
skeptifem says
I guess we are all getting disillusioned with skepticism? I have been feeling that way too, especially lately.
But I also feel kind of shit about letting them have the name of it too. I think that groups like FTB could end up being representative of the majority eventually. I still value many parts of skepticism (like the work done against vaccine and aids denialists).
Josh, Official SpokesGay says
Whatever gets you through the night, ‘Tis and everyone else. I guess what I really mean is I hate what people are capable of. I hate our tribalism, our confirmation bias, our need to see other people suffering so that we feel comparatively comfortable, how easily we turn on others without even stopping to try to be empathetic to them. All the shit that’s in our makeup that we have to try actively to overcome all the time to reach a semblance of ethical behavior.
Human beings are shit, that’s just the plain truth.
Caine, Fleur du mal says
Ing:
I wish. If I were, perhaps I could get rid of the horrible feeling of being covered with filth, of feeling violated for having these…people blithely invade one of the few spaces I feel safe.
julian says
So back to this world conquest idea. What’s our layer gonna look like? I don’t hate the Cthullu shrine idea but maybe something less cliched?
How’s about we build it in the likeness of Nightmare Moon?
cyberCMDR says
I don’t comment on these blogs as much as many here, but I have on occasion said something ignorant and been properly stomped upon. When this happens, I feel a bit peeved, but then try to figure out where my reasoning was flawed. Remarkably, if I don’t figure it out and I ask, someone usually explains it to me. I process that, and if the feedback is valid (it usually is!), I integrate that datum and move on.
The thing is, I know I have gaps in my knowledge. I’m also willing to learn and fix those gaps. I think Paula’s problem is that she already believes that her position is by definition the right one. Therefore anyone who states otherwise is mean, ignorant, a feminazi, etc.
The problem with this worldview is that by its nature limits one’s personal growth. It is like the scientist that refuses to look at new data that disproves their pet hypothesis. This is no way to learn.
"We Are Ing The Matrimonial Collective" says
I call it Skeptic Inc. I first saw this bullshit starting with word of JREF and TAM calling religion off limits to better appeal to a wider audience. That’s when it’s clear that the mission is lost and we’re just auditioning for the club house.
Josh, Official SpokesGay says
This. This. This. This. THIS. I’m furious and resentful that FtB has parts of it that are slimepit-friendly. We can’t have one goddamned refuge? Really?
I know PZ and co. are working on such things behind the scenes, I’m just gobsmacked that it got this far and I hate it.
Josh, Official SpokesGay says
Skeptic Inc. Yep, that’s apt, Ing. Hope you won’t mind if I start using it too.
theoblivionmachine says
Mattir, that tank cover is adorable, I am impressed and haz a happy.
Improbable Joe says
@ Ing:
Same here. It has become “Let’s water down everything and appeal to the lowest common denominator to get asses in seats. If we have to toss our natural allies under the bus to get bigger attendance numbers, that’s cool.” Fuck ’em.
"We Are Ing The Matrimonial Collective" says
That would be groupthink!
Jadehawk, chef d’orchestre féministe says
we’re HYDRA?
*awkward cough*
umm… sir… um… North Dakota is where the nukes are… just, you know, mentioning that, seeing as they might make the overrunning of ND with panzers a trifling bit more complicated…
'Tis Himself says
Okay, some parts of Official Skepticism™ as approved by Skeptic Inc. are worthwhile. Things like fighting against homeopathy, anti-vax, and other parts of altmed. But are Bigfoot and Area 51 in the least bit important? Not only no but FUCK NO!
Religion is the biggest evil in the world today. But Skeptic Inc., as established by JREF and its toadies, have unilaterally determined that “oh noes, we can’t upset the goddists or they’ll stop giving us money.” Right now JREF and TAM are not about skepticism, they’re about using skepticism as a fund-raising tool.
The chief fundraiser, DJ Grothe, won’t even take a stance against sexism at his own meeting because it might annoy some of the moneybags on his board.
We need to take skepticism away from the professional skeptics of Skeptics Inc. Let them worry about ESP and poltergeists. We’ll do the heavy lifting on the important things like religion.
skeptifem says
someone at ophelias place is calling us all bullies but can’t produce a definition of the term.
I am thinking about doing some posts about that soon; my sister got bullied really badly by teachers and students, it is a shame to see people equating this kind of petty crap with actual bullying.
"We Are Ing The Matrimonial Collective" says
Of course they are. But one has to frankly wonder why any given thing is of the field of skepticism and the other isn’t. Why are MLMS in but Trickle Down Economics not? Yes there is good to be done, but it’s at a fraction of both effectiveness and integrity. Frankly it seems like something both virtueists and pragmatists should agree on. “You’re selling out and you got hosed while doing it!”
True. After all, it’s not like TAM and JREF are the only game in town.
skepticalmath says
Yeah. Like, I’m glad that bullying has gained popular society’s condemnation, but I feel like in the end it is just another way for actual bullies to get away with not being called on their bullying.
“You’re the bully,” a recent facebook no-longer-friend said indignanty, after I not too politely told him to fuck off and stop using homophobic slurs. Missing the point, dudebro, missing the point.
"We Are Ing The Matrimonial Collective" says
Oh hey! Rush Limbaugh again! “intolerance” and “reverse racism” anyone!?
dianne says
North Dakota is where the nukes are… just, you know, mentioning that, seeing as they might make the overrunning of ND with panzers a trifling bit more complicated…
Right. Save the panzers for Wisconsin. North Dakota will be invaded with radiation resistant zombie squid. If the North Dakotans choose to nuke themselves into oblivion to avoid the squid, no great loss. Just make sure they don’t know where precisely our secret base is…
rorschach says
Not a great day to be starting Dry July then, I take it. You can’t drink as much as you want to puke sometimes.
Rey Fox says
Holy crap. Nearly 100 comments in on a post about a Pharyngula military uprising, and not a single comment either a) howling about what horrible violent people we are, or b) humorlessly whinging about how immature we are? There might be hope yet.
bubba707 says
Josh, you aren’t the only one who has become misanthropic. When I took up kayaking I was asked why a kayak. My answer was because there’s only room for one in the boat.
dianne says
Things like fighting against homeopathy, anti-vax, and other parts of altmed
Of course, anti-vaxxers and altmed types consider themselves to be skeptics too. Perhaps JREF will stop taking on these woosters for fear of offending a potential audience member.
"We Are Ing The Matrimonial Collective" says
Ooooh! Or if people want a positive term to seperate them from skepticism without giving up the name how about ‘high bar skeptic’
It’s like a regular skeptic but you set the hurdle a bit higher than “bigfoot”
klatu says
Paula Kirby:
Where can I get a copy? I seem to have misplaced mine.
Seriosuly! I can’t find a copy anywhere. Help me out, here!
"We Are Ing The Matrimonial Collective" says
Seriously, anyone who uses Feminazi either unaware of where it came from or ok with that fact needs to spend some time meditating in a tumble dryer
skeptifem says
skepticalmath
from what I understand it has always been a bullies MO to claim victim status upon being confronted with their behavior. Sociopaths resort to shows of extremely pathetic behavior when they get caught too. Appeals to pity are generally very effective.
I don’t think bullying is well understood, considering how much traction its had as a term in this debate. its a buzz word now.
Caine, Fleur du mal says
Gee, thanks, Dianne.
:P
skeptifem says
its the S.C.U.M. manifesto, of course!
dianne says
Oops. Right. Must get horde members to a safe location first. Drat these details! (Caine, feel free to nuke Texas in retaliation for my carelessness…after evacuating the important people, of course.)
ImaginesABeach says
Why are we taking Wisconsin and the Dakotas? Can’t we take over some place WARM in the winter?
/Minnesota whining
Alethea H. "Crocoduck" Dundee says
Awww, can’t we take over the world *tomorrow* instead? I need to do the grocery shopping and get to the gym today.
feralboy12 says
I’ve been looking through my German Uniforms of the Third Reich 1933-1945 and indeed, there are very few women in uniform, maybe five out of several dozen uniforms pictured. And they’re all nurse and “tram conductress” stuff. Although the auxiliary worker looks pretty severe.
None of them wore the swastika.
Jebus, I can’t believe anyone with any pretense to being an independent thinker or any self-respect would resort to using the “feminazi” term. After the “dittos” bullshit, it’s only Limbaugh’s fucking trademark, a term he’s been coughing up since at least the early ’90s. And I distinctly recall him defining it specifically as “women whose purpose in life is to see to it that as many abortions take place as possible.” Yeah, I heard him say that.
Yeah, but we’ll just hack into those. What, you don’t watch TV? Meanwhile, our shitty tanks will work better, since North Dakota doesn’t have any hills.
The big challenge will be discerning the state capitol building from a grain silo; as I recall, they’re hard to tell apart.
julian says
So long as it ain’t Texas…
Me I’d settle for a properly industrialized state.
tierra de antilopes says
Something like this??
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JynobyQAt4E/T–6xgG5xfI/AAAAAAAAAMA/f6fteGSQtiI/s1600/Emperor%2BPZ.jpg
dianne says
Can’t we take over some place WARM in the winter?
Quit your whining. The panzers will produce enough CO2 that global warming will make the Dakotas and Wisconsin downright balmy soon enough.
Jadehawk, chef d’orchestre féministe says
oh?
klatu says
@skeptifem
Right. Of course it is! Now we just need to find some Feminazis…
julian says
Wow, Josh, you look great in that head dress.
Caine, Fleur du mal says
feralboy12:
Good luck getting to me then, seeing as I live in a valley surrounded by hills.
Jadehawk, chef d’orchestre féministe says
seriously, the “no hills” part of ND is just here on the eastern edge, because we’re sitting on a glacial lake bed. the rest is to a large degree churned up end moraine and other hilly-to-mountainy terrain
Josh, Official SpokesGay says
Except for my broken spine:))
Josh, Official SpokesGay says
ba-dum, tish!
Jadehawk, chef d’orchestre féministe says
ND topo map. might come in handy for the invasion, be it by panzer or zombie
spamamander, hellmart survivor says
@ 14
Well, shit. I wasn’t going to play GW2, but I might have to now. My I haven’t done a THING with my Crocoduck Hunters legion in Aion.
feralboy12 says
Okay, I’ve been relying on my possibly faulty memory of living in Wyndmere for the first six years of my life. My last trip back there was in 1968.
What I remember was pretty flat. And the state capitol building did look like a grain silo. We all agreed on that.
skeptifem says
Wyoming would be really easy to take over because of the sparse population. Just sayin’…
Jadehawk, chef d’orchestre féministe says
wyndmere is near the eastern state border, so it would probably also sit on the former glacial lake bed; which, yeah, would be rather flat
Jadehawk, chef d’orchestre féministe says
in fact, the eastern border of ND/MN is so fucking flat, the Red River is flowing past here at barely any speed; and is actually likely to stop flowing altogether in the near future*, because of rebound of the northern end of the red river valley. and then we’ll end up with another lake.
*on a geological time-scale
redmann says
Jumpin’ Jesus on a Pogo stick PZ, you’ve unleashed a wave of sarcasm that has swept all the way here to Virginia.! It’s swept over the Blue Ridge! OMG It’s here! It’s destroying everything! Oh the humanity! Crackle crackle hissssssss.
"We Are Ing The Matrimonial Collective" says
Oh note how Paula is decrying totalitarianism here (she knows cause she lived in such a state…wait what? really? REALLY?) and is sneering at Benson for over reacting to “threats”
redmann says
Seriously though, it’s bad enough we have to put up with the insanity of the religiotards that are dangerously close to being swept into total power, but we have what should be allies in this desperate fight, going nutziod and turning on us. I really respected Paula Kirby, and, in her day, ERV, seeing them slip into the abyss is disheartening to say the least. I fear for this country and the world and the people in it. In the words of Shakespeare, “Something wicked this way comes”
Sophia, Babby Sammich Dispenser says
AHHHH. *satisfied sigh*
Really. With all the unmitigated shit I’ve been living through for the last few weeks, it’s so amazingly therapeutic to read so many comments from people who have a firm goddamn grasp of the facts and are willing to fight for them.
Gives me hope I might not have to continue being dropkicked from bad situation to bad situation forever.
In less depressing news, I -may- have to challenge whomever has taken the head chef position to a duel. I am clearly the superior choice – not only trained as a chef but also as a bona fide repressed housewife with a disgruntled husband. You KNOW I bake the best goddamned cookies around. Also do a mean risotto ;)
I want my fascist feminazi betentacled chef uniform, too. I vote for the Ming the Merciless camp style, and we’ll need the beautifully flamboyant Italiandesigner too. I want SPARKLES. SPARKLES!!!12!2
Setár, self-appointed Elf-Sheriff of the FreethoughtBlogs Star Chamber says
Ahh, shit, and I thought I could keep up the lie that my jurisdiction was only confined to Pharyngula.
I blame Thunderf00t, he’s been causing lots of trouble around here lately. Can I have a warrant? Pleeeeeeease let me have a warrant? I’m tired of sitting around here…
Sophia, Babby Sammich Dispenser says
Setár:
Warrant? Pfft. How modern of you. What you need is a good old-fashioned Letter of Marque.
Valindrius says
In this case, was the Blogathon a genuinely benevolent act for a worthy organisation or a devious way to acquire funds for expanding a Feminazi Youth into high schools and colleges filled with pliable minds? It’s hard to know what’s genuine and what’s disingenuous when the insidious totalitarian goals are veiled so well behind things like diversity, empathy, or generosity.
More importantly, I’d just like to say that I truly cannot imagine how draining these constant revelations and recurring attacks must be. I know the opinion of a random lurker is rather ineffectual and patronising but I deeply admire the resolve and insightfulness of all those contesting idiocy. I regret that the resolve is even necessary, especially given that many must have maintained such resolve across their lives in the fight for basic rights. I expect it must be deeply demoralising or outright revolting to see that the sceptical ‘community’ is yet another place where ancient absurdities are present and a callous ‘what’s in it for my ego?’ crowd strives for dominance. I had foolishly assumed that introspection, equality, and intellectual honesty would rule but a few years of reading suggests that some only care about those when they serve a smug sense of superiority.
Sophia, Babby Sammich Dispenser says
UGH. I went and depressed myself by reading the comment thread over at Ophelia’s.
It’s no longer about the issues now for the status-quo crowd. They’ve rallied under the cry of ‘bullies’ and it’s now all about winning. Can’t do anything from hereon in, anything they say will simply be evasion, name-calling and projection, because to give any ground at this point is a ‘loss’. Problem is if we cease to engage, it’s a ‘win’ for them. Every one that’s blocked simply comes to the conclusion that their arguments were too good.
I still have no iea how to get through to people who approach discussions like that. Pity, my life kinda depends on it right now :|
Paulino says
Seeing all this meltdown around this issue (of all issues!! the simple necessity of being treated with a modicum of respect) makes me think of what McNamara’s 2nd lesson in “The Fog fo War”: Rationality will not save us!
imthegenieicandoanything says
My breasts ARE my panzers!
Y’know, nobody ever got the slightest rise out of me by naming me a Nazi or Commie. “Mr. Poopyhead” would be as effective, and score a few clever reference points if well delivered.
Anti-semite does rile me, if the name-caller isn’t Jewish (which actually has never happened – only faux-Israel-loving racists ever use it), since my wonderful stepfather is Jewish. I can simply employ better and more involved insults if online, but that particular insult might lead to me decking someone, for the first time since JHS, if done face-to-face.
Whoever this Paula Kirby is, she has a silly persecution complex and needs to be casually ignored.
A. Z. Darkheart (liar and scoundrel) says
Josh:
I know exactly how you feel.
Improbable Joe:
Screw it, I’d rather be the pastry chef.
Patricia, OM says
Pullet Patrol ™ standing by in formation, having eaten a fuckton of Bing cherries, ready for “bombing” runs. Sir!
klatu says
As others have noted, the conflation of (harsh) criticism with bullying is fucking offensive.
I was bullied in my junior high (i.e. the equivalent thereof) years by people who purported to be my friends. I was verbally abused by my peers to a point where I would break out in tears every day as soon as I got home. I was afraid to go to school. Afraid to engage with people at all.
Anyone who equates criticism of ideas with unrelenting physical and emotional abuse of people is part of the problem by being a fucking enabler.
And anyone who equates feminism with totalitarianism, especially with Nazism, needs to learn some fucking history (Women were nothing more than incubators for new [male] soldiers in Nazi-Germany).
It’s always the same bullshit. Freedom of Speech is not being impaired by people disagreeing with stupid fucking opinions.
/rant
Also, I advice deploying weaponized vaginas in the war effort. They seem to be fairly efficient at destroying Amurka.
kaleberg says
You’re all too late. George Orwell has already cited one of the greatest mixed metaphors of political writing, “The fascist octopus has sung its swan song.”
quentinlong says
Okay.
The official Pharyngula wargame.
It’s obviously gotta be a conquer-the-world game, like RISK, but I think we can get away with a summat more sophisticated level of game-mechanics. No, not like SPI or Star Fleet Battles; I said “summat more sophisticated”, not “brain-smashingly overhypercomplexificationated”.
I’m thinking the players should all be subcommanders in the Horde; each player is of course subordinate to PZ and PZ alone. The players are competing against each other, each one striving to capture the most territory or otherwise do the most damage to The Enemy. The ultimate goal of all this competition is to gain the personal favor of Our Dread Lord PZ. Yes, this means the players will be working at cross-purposes to each other and are therefore likely to be less effective than if they co-operated, but that’s alright, because Darwinism, that’s why. And Atheism.
PZ himself works in mysterious ways. Within the confines of the game, PZ’s mysterious ways are represented by a deck of special bonus cards, a deck from which the players draw at appropriate times. Each of these bonus cards provides some sort of “special power”; some cards grant their power only when they’re played, others grant their power only while they’re held in a player’s hand, etc.
The board/map on which this game is played is the Dymaxion map, designed by Bucky Fuller. It projects the Earth’s surface features onto an icosahedron, which then gets unfolded; in this way it avoids a lot of the distortion so many other maps exhibit. And since an icosahedron is made entirely of equilateral triangles, we can easily plop a hex-grid down on the board-surface. The *entire* board-surface, both land *and* sea, of course — we need land spaces for our giant genetically-mutated zombie squid to crush beneath their squamous tentacles, and we need sea spaces in which the zombie squid can spawn.
Must ponder this further…
Patricia, OM says
Setar – Warrant? Pffft! No what you need is a pitchfork, and a flaming torch.
Oh, and no, you can’t borrow mine. It’s the only 10 tiner Pharyngula has.
Jadehawk, chef d’orchestre féministe says
see now that is an army to invade ND with.
Jadehawk, chef d’orchestre féministe says
what? NO!
it has to be like Hordes. they already have an Ebil Female-dominated Betentacled army; and also, these bloodthisty women. and on the other side, there’s trolls
Patricia, OM says
Don’t forget the flying monkeys. Ebil flying monkeys!
Akira MacKenzie says
quentinlong @ 146
No, not like SPI or Star Fleet Battles…
Darn! I hoping to use the new Pharyngula Warbird variant (8 cyberpistol 1s and 4 heavy vaginas) I found in the last Captain’s Log!
I wonder what the Federation Commander version will look like?
Akira MacKenzie says
…it has to be like Hordes…
No, no, no… Its got to be 40K. Ophelia can command the Skepchicks of Battle and join Primarch Myers’ Cephalopod Chapter against the traitor legions of Thunderf00t the ERV.
robro says
So what sort of Nazi is it that uses Nazi analogies like Feminazi?
Sophia, Babby Sammich Dispenser says
Akira:
Wait – since when are WE the annoying,xenophobic, sanctimonious arseholes spreading religious slavery and Mother Theresa-esque levels of self-righteous suffering throughout the known universe?
I always liked Orks. Also, squig is perilously close to squid. Also, Squiggoth/Shoggoth and everyone’s just space fungus. Kinda fits, no?
Patricia, OM says
Now see here, the Heavy Vagina Corps hasn’t taken to the field to do laundry, wash windows or make sandwiches. We are here to do slaughter and mayhem with our finely whitened vaginal wisdom teeth. Don’t bother us with the trivial shit.
rorschach says
@ 139,
We mustn’t forget however that this “them” is a bunch of 5-10 internet losers with a keyboard. It’s not a movement, and it’s not representative of ours.
rorschach says
As to Paula Kirby, she isn’t a slimepitter not would she ever want to be one, but she wants her atheism squeaky-clean, and regards those in the movement who want to widen the scope and are interested in other matters, eg equality issues, as suspicious.
Josh, Official SpokesGay says
Thank you for that reminder. We do need to remember that. They’re a fringe—a vocal fringe—but they’re not the whole “community.”
Sophia, Babby Sammich Dispenser says
rorschach:
I really wish it were, though. If that were truly the case, I’d not come up against this kind of thing with half the people I talk to in my everyday life. It doesn’t tend to actually affect you unless you’re very close to said people; namely when you need to tell them that they’re doing something harmful.
You’ve got about a half second window to get in before the ‘get defensive, be terribly offended by the grave insult and throw the problem back in your face to make it your fault’ reflex kicks in, and once it does you’re inevitably screwed.
If it were just a few arseholes arguing on the internet I’d find it much easier to not care. It’s actually the reaction that the majority of people give. The MAJORITY.
Scares the ever-loving shit out of me, that does.
Josh, Official SpokesGay says
Kirby may as well be a slimepitter; she’s actively encouraging their abuse.
Sophia, Babby Sammich Dispenser says
For clarity – I don’t think it’s a movement either, but it is how most people* seem to deal with criticism. People just aren’t taught how to deal with criticism, they simply assume that if they’re being criticised for something the person giving that criticism must, necessarily, be wrong.
*in my experience. I make no claims as to whether or not my experience is representative of the greater community. I could just be ridiculously unlucky.
Caine, Fleur du mal says
Josh:
Exactly.
Rorschach, I don’t give a damn about what Kirby wants; this isn’t a game of “what’s your utopia?”, it’s about people and their every day lives. What Kirby isn’t doing is paying attention to reality.
Makoto says
One problem with the Kickstarter idea is that you have to give rewards for donation levels. Sure, sure, you can promise to list names in the “thank you for letting us take over” section of the demands document, but perhaps indiegogo would be a better option – they say you can use the money for just about anything (personal, donation, projects w/rewards, etc).
Unless you want to offer something like control over regions as the Kickstarter rewards? Donate $50,000 or more, you get a suburb, and so on?
Patricia, OM says
Wait, isn’t a kickstarter something on an old Harley?
Caine, Fleur du mal says
Akira:
No. Give me Chaos anytime. Along with a horde of Skaven.
Jadehawk, chef d’orchestre féministe says
not a slimepitter; a chill girl. which, incidentally, attracts slimepitters like shit attracts flies
Caine, Fleur du mal says
Jadehawk:
That shouldn’t even need saying, given that Abbie has set herself up as Chief Chill Girl and is the homebase of the slimepit.
Akira MacKenzie says
Sophia @ 154
Hmmm… maybe you’re right.
Personally, I’d like to think we’re more like the Tau. “For the greater good” and all that.
didgen says
Would be willing to support the troops with coconut pecan haystacks and banana cheesecakes. Would need pick-up from west coast though.
Sophia, Babby Sammich Dispenser says
The ‘chill girl’* phenomenon used to baffle me until I started understanding privilege a bit more clearly.
Am I roaming in the vicinity of correct when I reason that a woman who espouses patriarchal ideals and defends them to the point of hypocrisy is probably subject to the following thought processes?
1) A lack of insight into sexist tropes and attitudes in society. Being seemingly unaffected they feel disinclined to believe the experiences of women who are adversely affected by deeply ingrained sexism. (Privilege blindness)
2) A perception that since male is somehow better, that by defending and acting in a more masculine manner they somehow hope to gain position as ‘one of the boys’ and avoid being lumped in with the ‘weaker’ females who aren’t simply content to play the system.
I’m still getting my head around all these concepts. Bear with me!
* I’m wary of using quotes (or my half-arsed apostrophe ‘quotes’)on Pharyngula, people keep calling them scare quotes. I’m just trying to isolate and frame a concept, not mock or deride. Is this an accepted usage, or am I being weird?
Sophia, Babby Sammich Dispenser says
didgen: I’ll add a case of my aztec spiced chocolate cookies. It’ll need pickup from the west coast too… west coast of Australia, that is.
Jadehawk, chef d’orchestre féministe says
sophia, there’s often a 3rd part of this:
3)has overcome an obstacle usually classed as caused by systemic sexism (glass ceiling, wage gap, etc.) by brute force and/or strength of will; and/or has found a individualistic “strong individual”-type of coping mechanism with some form of violence caused by the patriarchy (rape, domestic abuse, etc.); and as a result, sees systemic solutions as unnecessary for herself and thus, bu extension other women, and sees the suggestion to implement them as implications that women are weak (“victim mentality”)
Jadehawk, chef d’orchestre féministe says
so, roughly speaking, we get ignorance/denial + femmephobia + “rugged individualism” = chill girl
Sophia, Babby Sammich Dispenser says
Jadehawk:
Ahhh… yes. That makes a lot of sense. The authoritarian “pull yourself up by the bootstraps” nonsense. It works for me, therefore it works for everyone, and throws a lot of my point one in with the disbelieving of other people’s experiences.
Gotcha, thanks. (Whee! more brain food. Pity it’s such a horrible subject.)
Sophia, Babby Sammich Dispenser says
Also, thanks for summarising my stupidly pretentious verbosity so nicely. I really don’t like it, but it’s how I discuss things inside my head :P
Caine, Fleur du mal says
Sophia, Jadehawk’s Number 3 @172 is the primary cause behind Abbie, but it’s often a blend of all.
Dana Hunter says
Sophia and Jadehawk… Crap in a hat, that sums my former self up. Argh. I (hopefully) wasn’t ever as bad as the current crop of chill girls, but damn, I was patronizing. Then I became a liberal and an atheist, grew up, started listening to other people, and faced the fact that the world wasn’t all about me. Once I started seeing past my own nose, I realized we had a problem, and it wasn’t feminists.
I shudder when I look back on what I was. Hopefully, some of them will, too, and start realizing that a hell of a lot of women (and their allies) have worked their assess off to get them this far. So much further to go. Invective thrown at us by people who like the current state of affairs just fine won’t stop us.
Whoever’s picking up the West Coast of America division, I’ll need you to swing by Seattle. I will fuel the hordes with fajitas. Victory! And salsa!
Sophia, Babby Sammich Dispenser says
Dana:
I think it sums up most people before they get a clue. I’m pretty convinced that society drums that kind of mentality into us pretty strongly and it takes a whacking great conscious effort to overcome it.
The fact that we can, and a lot of people have, is evidence at least that things aren’t entirely without hope. :)
Dana Hunter says
Sophia:
True dat! It’s why I haven’t crawled into a corner and stayed there sobbing futile tears.
These things take time. No power was ever relinquished without howls and hate and plenty of downtrodden people who enabled their own oppression. Attitudes rarely change overnight. If we all sit down and shut up, those attitudes never will.
Also, we won’t get all this yummy food. I’m glad to see so many here understand that armies do, indeed, march on their stomachs. In the end, we will most likely conquer by cuisine. Oh, and because, y’know, equality’s a damned good idea.
Jadehawk, chef d’orchestre féministe says
pretty sure that sums up virtually every feminists former self. I think “chill girl” is a widespread phenomenon because girls in liberal homes are raised to be it, while girls in conservative homes see it as a socially acceptable(-ish) way to rebel against the older, even more patriarchal gender roles. Plus, that particular kind of womanhood is EVERYWHERE, culturally speaking. For example, the Hollywood-definition of a “strong female character” is often an uber-chill girl.
ibbica says
@ PZ, for this post and the “Change of Focus” one, and @ pretty much all the commenters on both threads:
You are now causing me to spend far too much of my time laughing so hard I’m crying. I would have you know that this situation has become completely untenable. Some of us do have things to do outside of making this blog exceptionally entertaining and insightful, you know. You also know full well that it’s impossible for us feminine folk to be able to do anything useful While Emotional, so I insist you knock it off at once.
:P
tl;dr: THANK YOU! :)
Sophia, Babby Sammich Dispenser says
Dand: Conquest through cuisine…
*teary eyes*
Finally, a movement in which I can shine. I’ll even command my own batallion of Mediterranean-inspired warrior chefs, employing Heston Blumenthal-esque tactics, with McGee’s “On Food and Cooking”* as our handbook. Our insignia shall be crossed whisk and spatula, char-grilled, on a bed of liquid nitrogen. Also on fire somehow.
*(Food AND science. Winning all round!)
Sophia, Babby Sammich Dispenser says
Dand… UGH. Dana, sorry. My fervour got a little out of hand there. :p
ChasCPeterson says
I really like the skull-and-tentacles. Can we have it on the marching-band hats? Can we?
Dana Hunter says
I’d just like to second what ibbica said. I <3 you, even when I've got lost deep in the hilarity rather than doing things like making sammiches, and suffering because I couldn't tear myself away long enough to make a sammich like everyone was talking about. You all make me feel a better world is within reach.
Gracias!
bastionofsass says
Good thing the Baltimore-Washington horde has been in training for 2 1/2 years now (training = drinking). We’re prepared!
As far as weaponry, I’m afraid all I can muster at such short notice are two Supersoakers. But they’re two very very humongous, ass-kickin’ Supersoakers.
Dana Hunter says
Sophia:
*Drool.* You have no idea how much I love Mediterranean!
Outrageously cool uniforms: check. Mutant creatures: check. Hilarious, sharp-witted comrades: check. Tank cozies: check. Warrior chefs, up to and including pastry, with a special Mediterranean battalion: check. I was pretty certain before, but now I know I chose the right side!
nms says
I had no idea Paula Kirby was involved in a campaign of mass unfriending on Facebook. This is serious stuff.
Has she made any camera-related demands yet?
Sophia, Babby Sammich Dispenser says
Dana: If you ever find yourself in this backwater we call Perth in the West of the Great Empty Oz, then you’re more than welcome to pop over for whatever dish you like. Cooking’s therapeutic -and- fun. Not to toot my own horn but I’m damned good at it too. :p
Best part about being adopted but raised with Italian and Greek parents – All of the food, none of the facial hair. ;)
Oh, and the same invitation goes out to all decent Pharyngulites. Food. Food for everyone!
ChasCPeterson says
and a kickass marching band.
Uncle PZ Wants YOU!
quentinlong says
sez me:
>>The official Pharyngula wargame.
>>It’s obviously gotta be a conquer-the-world game, like RISK
sez jadehawk:
>what? NO!
>
>it has to be like Hordes. they already have an Ebil Female-dominated Betentacled army; and also, >these bloodthisty women. and on the other side, there’s trolls
[checks the Hordes website] I see what you mean, Jadehawk. And I was already thinking about different types of units. But Hordes looks to be a relatively small-scale game, focusing on individual units, and I think the Pharyngula game should be seriously large-scale. As in, global (see also: conquer the WORLD).
Hmm… nothing says we can’t have both large- and small-scale games, right? Maybe even incorporate both scales into the same game! Use the Dymaxion world-map to keep track of grand-scale ebb and flow of power, and when two forces meet in battle, bring out a city-map (or whatever the appropriate scale is) and play out the fight.
Now that I’ve typed that out, I am unsure how playable it will be… but this is just brainstorming at the moment, so let it stand.
Starting position(s): PZ’s minions (subcommanders and all the rest) pretty much have to begin the game underwater, and rise up out of the oceans to crush the foolish landwalkers.
Initially, the players’ monster-type units should be strictly saltwater stuff. As the game progresses, players should have the option of mutating/breeding freshwater-tolerant beasts (PZ is a biologist, after all) which can strike from any body of water — rivers, lakes, etc — which is connected to, or feeds into, the oceans. The bigger beasties simply won’t be able to move through the smaller/shallower/narrower bodies of water, so players should have the option of enlarging those rivers & such which already exist on the map, and also the option of excavating entirely new canals/rivers/ponds/etc. It should be possible to do seriously large-scale geological remodeling; just sink an entire island (continent?) in one fell swoop. The cost of implementing that kind of maneuver should be commensurate with how frickin’ cool it is, natch.
The game should include some resource-managing stuff, but not too much. Again, this ain’t no SPI detailfest. Hmmm… How about this: When your turn begins, you get 1 “monetary unit” for each space you control on the world-map. Possibly let ocean-spaces yield a larger ‘harvest’ than land-spaces? However-many ‘dollars’ you got, you can spend as much of it as you want on stuff like creating more of your critters, or upgrading the critters you already have, or researching new types of critters, or enlarging a strategically-placed waterway, or…
These ‘dollars’ are a strict use-it-or-lose-it deal; any ‘dollar’ you don’t spend on the turn you got it, is a wasted ‘dollar’.
Sophia, Michelin-starred General of the First Mediterranean Warrior Chef Batallion says
That’s better. Needed something more militant and less cring-worthily silly than ‘baby sammich cannon’. Mental image there was a bit too wrong even for me.
The Swordfish, Ambulatory Memory Leak says
Problem. I just can’t see meatspace wargames really capturing the true essence of Pharyngula. Where’s the community? How can we possibly play like true Internet Feminazis without the glory of teh internets to bring us all together? No, multiplayer (probably browser-based) 4X games would be the way to go! That way we could all properly compete for territory. I picture Mad Science skill trees, mustering ferocious squid armies, slaughtering trolls and vanquishing right-wing militias to win the Poopyhead’s favor, boosting food production by enslaving the Menz in massive sammich-factories, and superweapons such as weaponized tax increases to make right-wing commentators’ heads explode en masse!
(Come on, I can’t possibly be the only developer on Pharyngula who’d be interested in making something like that. ;))
bastionofsass says
Oh, I guess I have a lot of catching up to do. Last time read FtB fairly thoroughly, it seemed like there may have been a bit of…um…dissention in the ranks.
I guess everyone has made up and deep rifts have now been closed. Right?
Is a round of Kumbaya called for?
The Swordfish, Ambulatory Memory Leak says
quentinlong
…I need to refresh the page more often. >.>
mouthyb says
I’m happy to contribute ridiculous numbers of Southern and Southwestern recipes, in exchange for a spiffy uniform and the ability to join the Pharyngula Special Ops.
I bring to the table the ability to formulate propaganda, to formulate an educational regime and to fuel whole tanks with mah hate.
Emptyell says
Patricia, OM @150
Reporting for duty, Zir!
Dana Hunter says
Sophia:
I have friends in OZ pestering me to go. You just made it so much more likely. Geology + fucking awesome food = happy Dana!
If you (or any of the awesome Pharyngulites) ever make it up to Seattle, WA, fajitas as you have never tasted fajitas before await you. I also make a pretty mean enchiladas suizas.
And I am desperately in love with your new moniker.
Flewellyn says
Irritatingly, the thread over at Ophelia’s has attracted the attention of a longstanding member of the 101st Fighting Keyboarders, 3rd Misogynist Masturdebating Company, namely Iamcuriousblue. IAmCuriouslyBrainless is busily telling everyone that feminists at FTB may not be totalitarian leaders now, but if they got any kind of political power they totally would be. That’s right, he thinks that a political and social movement dedicated to equality and greater freedom is a nascent totalitarianism.
To paraphrase Charles Babbage, I am not able to rightly apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a statement.
Alethea H. "Crocoduck" Dundee says
Love it, Sophia!
I used to be a pharygucook, but mostly now I recline on the couch. I’m not qute sure what I can do from this position. Taste-testing, perhaps. Every process needs quality control.
A. R says
PZ: The Military and Intelligence forces of the TZT Politburo stand ready to support this effort. We can begin deploying immediately.
Sophia, Michelin-starred General of the First Mediterranean Warrior Chef Batallion says
Flewellyn: I can’t help but read that last quote from Babbage in anything other than Stephen Fry’s Babbage impersonation. I’m forever tainted.
Dana: Thankyou! I’ve never had good Mexican cuisine as far as I kow, not a huge call for it around here. If I ever find myself in the US I’ll be sure to make a detour :D
Sophia, Michelin-starred General of the First Mediterranean Warrior Chef Batallion says
Alethea – I’d gladly submit my culinary experiments for your review, though from memory you’re an Oz-resident of the Eastern Persuasion, and Australia Post is a large pile of Poo when it comes to food deliveries interstate. :P
Someone – invent me a goddamned food teleporter, or a way of emailing flavours. Forget flying cars, this is MUCH MORE INPORTANT.
psanity says
Don’t worry about the money. As soon as we take western North Dakota, we’ll have oil, so no worries.
I don’t recommend Wyoming. It’s worse than South Dakota. Just head straight across Montana for the Rockies. The Seattle contingent can meet us. Then we can take Yellowstone Park, which alone will give us overwhelming Science Power, and besides, I bet Dana wants it.
Skeptics, Inc. can have their damn chupacabras. We’ll have a pulsating caldera, yo.
Caine, Fleur du mal says
In the meantime, idiots continue to trickle in on the Misogynists thread, same old crap, oh, poor TF is misunderstood, PZ really fell down on the job this time, gosh, why do you want to canonize harassment policy, yada, yada, yada.
Sophia, Michelin-starred General of the First Mediterranean Warrior Chef Batallion says
psanity – most Evil Organisations have a volcano lair. We’ll have a SUPERVOLCANO LAIR. Also bears.
Mobius 118 says
Your bidding, my lord?
Shall I bring a bottle of Kraken for CONvergence?
weakswimmer says
…Oh, goodness. Forget sandwiches. Fajitas win that battle. I salute you, Dana!
Good luck in your battle, Pharyngulites! Win hard, stylishly, and with good food!
A. R says
I believe bears with frikin lasers on their frikin heads can be arranged.
Dana Hunter says
psanity: Do want! Best volcano lair of all time! Plus, my geo friends know plenty of other volcano lairs. We will take possession of all of them, and have a worldwide network of volcano lairs. The geothermal energy should not only power our panzers, but will also be ideal for our culinary battalions.
This is feasible, people. World domination can be ours! The way to people’s hearts is through their stomachs, and the food comas will take care of the minds.
Dana Hunter says
weakswimmer:
*returns salute*
No one can deny the power of the pepper sauce. No one.
Sophia, Michelin-starred General of the First Mediterranean Iron Chef Batallion says
Step 1: arrange Volcano lair network with connecting magma conduits/heatproof rail car system.
Step 2: arrange excavation of mines for raw materials and enclosed enviroment areas for food production, with the heat being channeled into a giant Hell’s Kitchen Area.
Step 3: Trained Iron Chef Brigades oversee the production of army rations using scientific cookery techniques and revolutionary new foodstuffs. Labour will be sourced from the Menz Penz(tm), where the fruits of the Feminazi Inquisitorial Acquisitions Department will be housed and fed on a diet consisting entirely of homeopathic dilutions of beer, jesus wafers and all-natural liver-cleansing* immune-boosting* vitamin* pills.
Step 4: Profit!
*may contain sawdust and/or rat faeces.
psanity says
Grizzly bears with frickin’ lasers.
K, off to bed. In the morning, I’ll start preparing SW Montana for the coming horde. Recruit bears; inventory weapons, beer, and pepper sauce. Rather than a spiffy uniform, I prefer basic black, because I’m a ninja. An Organizing Ninja.
Dana Hunter says
Right. We haz excellent planz. World domination is inevitable. Suppose I’d best get a good night’s sleep, then. I can’t show up to the revolution with bags under my eyes.
Alethea H. "Crocoduck" Dundee says
I assume when this gets going that I’ll have a mobile couch. Possibly a nice read leather one on wheels, pulled along by a bunch of oiled-up well-muscled young men. (Conscript downtrodden Menz being put in their place? Volunteer kinksters? Decisions, decisions. Who would appreciate the whips & chains more?)
I’m also training the Drop Bear Ambush Squad, so don’t say I never did anything useful for the revolution.
Daz, when the wind's called Mariah I know a hawk from a handsaw says
Looks like I’m late to this party, but: Paula who?
Also, is there an International Brigade in this here army?
Sophia, Michelin-starred General of the First Mediterranean Iron Chef Batallion says
Drop bears! I didn’t think of the potential there. I’ll provide the hoop snake assault squad, and we can re-animate Steve Irwin for the Crocodile Estuarine Defence Force.
Don’t fret Alethea – the Menz Penz will be well supplied with Unreformed Proto-Feminist Menz ripe for supplication. :P
reasonable fellow says
I’ll get older and balder.
Setár, self-appointed Elf-Sheriff of the FreethoughtBlogs Star Chamber says
Sophia #139:
Err. That’s not the crowd at Ophelia’s that’s done that, it’s the misogynist assholes themselves. Saying this means you really have no idea who the people you’re talking to are — please read this.
Setár, self-appointed Elf-Sheriff of the FreethoughtBlogs Star Chamber says
Er. By “the people you’re talking to”, I mean the repeat toxic misogynists, mainly the ones that keep popping up in Thunderf00t’s threads to praise him. Also Iamcuriousblue at Ophelia’s, they have been banned at Greta’s.
Sophia, Michelin-starred General of the First Mediterranean Iron Chef Batallion says
Setár:
I was talking about the misogynist assholes commenting on Ophelia’s post here. Apologies if I didn’t make that clear, my brain’s a little taxed right now dealing with personal issues.
DanDare says
Something about this reminds me of the collapse of RDF forums, except the Skep Inc doesn’t own FTB.
AJ Milne says
My working theory: because she’s smart, articulate, perceptive, has a certain definite dignity about her, thinks things through and, critically, regularly goes to some trouble to show her work.
I think it scares the hell out of the miserable little cowards. And thus they reveal themselves by attacking her, specifically. They can’t really argue with her, so it’s all this cheap Sturm und Drang and mindless rage.
Quite seriously. I think it really does show them up, and most unflatteringly. Prior to that particular dynamic developing, I had somewhat more nuanced sympathy for some of those still balking at dealing with all this shit, at least. Y’know. I can get how there’s a learning curve, here, self-examination not always great fun, so on…
You start talking that kinda smack against Ms. B., however, and, well, let’s just say I feel far, far less. It shows you for what you are far too clearly.
AJ Milne says
(/… oh, and, of course, tho’ it should probably go without saying, because on top of all of that: she’s a she.)
khms says
Warning: OT, and probably tl;dr stuff.
@180 Jadehawk, chef d’orchestre féministe
Depressing as this thread (or rather the cause for it) is, your mentioning this caused me to have a sudden revelation about why I like so much to read about strong female characters (after all, I’m certainly not female in any way, shape, or form).
It is because it’s easier for me to identify with them than with typical male characters – because typical male characters didn’t have to (at least by implication) wade through the same amount of shit as female ones to get where they are in the story. That is, they’ve done better than I have – the shit is less visible (which is a good thing, don’t get me wrong), but it’s still there. (Or alternatively the world they’re in simply doesn’t have that kind of shit, which makes it that much more attractive.)
The shit I’ve been wading through is different from theirs, of course; I wouldn’t want to make any claims about relative seriousness, I’ve not been inside a woman’s skin, so I can’t know, but then I don’t think it really matters – what matters is that (during the worst times, that is, my school days) authority figures either did nothing about bullying, punished both sides equally, or punished just who made them notice something was going on, which tended to be the victim. I assume if they did it to me, they did it to everyone – I don’t think I was special. I also remember coming to the defense of my “friend” (the only one I had) in a fight, only to have him promptly leave me to it. Gah, must stop wading through those memories, I’m already depressed enough, and nobody here cares anyway.
Anyway. Thanks for helping me understand myself better, even if that wasn’t what you intended to do.
A. Z. Darkheart (liar and scoundrel) says
Caine:
And I still don’t get it. There are harassment policies in play virtually everywhere– work, the stores they shop in, the events they attend, the websites/blogs they visit, etc– that this can’t be a revolutionary idea to them.
John Morales says
Audley @226, I’ve been roaming at TF’s, and noticed this:
Marcus Hill (mysterious and nefarious) says
Typical cultural imperialists, planning the invasion of the world by thinking about individual American states. When are we going to plan the takeover of the UK? Paula Kirby lived here last time I checked!
Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says
This always means “I know I have nothing but evidenceless bullshit OPINION, but nobody should criticize it no matter how offensive that OPINION is.”
Ace of Sevens says
Well, the overlords seem content to leave it to each blogger. I’m sure they’ll ban Sam for disagreeing soon.
A. Z. Darkheart (liar and scoundrel) says
John:
At first I didn’t get it, then I clicked the link you provided.
Oh. Sarcasm. Whomp whomp.
(It’s funny that they’re complaining about FtB while commenting on Ftb.
.)Sophia, Michelin-starred General of the First Mediterranean Iron Chef Batallion says
Right. Bullying. The poor, downtrodden menz who just want to be free to make the odd rape joke, hit on whomever they fancy and protect themselves from the inevitable barrage of false harrassment allegations that they’ll drown in once these draconian, repressive, anti-sex policies are carved in stone and tattooed mandatorily on each male attendee’s left testicle.
I was under the impression that bullying was larger, stronger or more privileged people punching downward, as it were, attempting to make themselves feel superior by abusing less privileged people for the inexcusable crime of being different.
Who’s making the accusations of bullying again? Who’s privileged here?
[/sarcasm]
I’d be fully in support of an anti-bullying policy, actually. Keep all arguments on topic, allow for the attacking of ideas but not people and we’re golden. That’s one way of cleaning out the leaking septic tank we’ve had stinking up the place lately.
Sarah says
Dana, can I be your lackey? I mean, for volcano lairs I’ll do just about anything. But next to grizzlies with lasers I’m not sure what I can offer. Mouse minions? Wait, super engineered smart rats to infest troll homes. I hear they hate that.
I’ve been watching this whole episode with great interest. I’ve learned a lot from the various bloggers who now reside on FtB though I followed most of them from elsewhere. I’ve been incredibly surprised by the level of vitriol spewed by the “elevators are perfectly good places to hit on women and sexual harassment doesn’t exist silly ladies” bloggers and commenters. If it did nothing else, it definitely made very clear to me how far we have yet to go.
So…thank you all for fighting the annoying little buggers. I’ll try really hard to come up with something better than super rats. I promise.
A Hermit says
Isn’t it amazing how the same people who get all bent out of shape over “guys…don’t do that” think that calling people Nazis is just fine.
There’s a strange set of standards at work there that I just don’t understand.
skeptifem says
some blogs here have a polciy like that already, though it isn’t aimed at bullying so much as “civility”.
I get a bit worried about who gets to decide if something is on topic or not, since a lot of the more interesting debates I’ve seen online focus on unstated assumptions contained within an argument, rather than the argument itself.
Theres a blog that serially writes negative posts about me and other female skeptics who are feminists. Then there is the slimepit of course. I don’t feel bullied at all by that because I don’t really have to go there or read what people are saying (I did once, the post called me a nazi!). I’ve been bullied at jobs before, a few times, and being unable to leave made it a real problem for me because obviously I needed to work, like most people. School kids cannot usually be pulled out of school when they get bullied, and tend to just get bullied again if they move to a different school. If people who were actually bullied could just walk away I am not sure it would really be the same problem anymore.
otrame says
@233
I’m not sure there is anything better than super rats.
As for food weaponry, I give you the chili piquen. Grows wild around here. About the size of a pea. You can tell teh Menzies that only the bravest with the biggest penises eat them.
*wonders what to do about the lack of volcanos in South Texas. Will limestone caves with fantastic calcium carbonate formations do, I wonders? We have lots. Good for dramatic scenes, requiring no set decoration. Goes well with any cool uniform style. Plenty of water except during droughts.
Adamvs Maximvs says
I’ve missed most of Elevatorgate, and pretty much everything that’s ensued. I did catch TF’s posts and some of the backlash.
Maybe I’m missing some crucial components but shouldn’t the whole issue just be;
– Some people have said harassment has been a problem at events. As long as they’re being honest (and I’m suspecting they were), that means harassment is an issue. Policies are being written or enacted to try and help alleviate the problem. Hopefully that remedies the situation, if not, further steps should be taken. –
Obviously, not having been here for the whole thing, is this is what some people are freaking out about and they think it’s unfair to men or society etc? Or has there been some other element that’s been a significant factor (dishonesty, someone being falsely accused, etc)?
Because if that’s all there is to it and some people are panicked that we’re oppressing men, or stifling society, etc. it sounds really silly to me….
Sophia, Michelin-starred General of the First Mediterranean Iron Chef Batallion says
skeptifem: Very good point. I suppose I’m a little bit generous as to what constitutes on-topic discussion myself, I’m one of those annoying folks whose mind wanders like mad on to loosely related topics, so… yes.
In any case, I was attempting to make a point about an anti-bullying policy doing the exact opposite of what the slimepit denizens seem to think it would.
I’ve seen the foulness that feminist (mainly female feminists) have been subjected to, and it’s thoroughly disgusted me. I’m currently dealing with a life situation that mirrors a lot of the nastier behaviours seen here, so it rather throws the whole thing into sharp relief. I suppose it also shows that it’s not just an internet thing – a lot of us have to put up with this sort of childish mindset every day.
Aquaria says
As to Paula Kirby, she isn’t a slimepitter not would she ever want to be one, but she wants her atheism squeaky-clean, and regards those in the movement who want to widen the scope and are interested in other matters, eg equality issues, as suspicious.
The problem of course, is that it’s her BFF, Dawkins, who made sort of a big deal about how genuine skepticism has far-reaching implications in all aspects of life. She hasn’t gotten the memo, obviously, too busy sucking up to him, rather than dealing with reality.
I think a lot of her antipathy for feminism is that she’s one of those twits (male or female) who will throw away all principles and reason if you attack her hero and/or the alpha male (Dawkins) she’s committed to sucking up to, to promote herself. Once she’s in that rut of blind loyalty, she isn’t bright enough to see what she’s doing. Or get herself out of it. Not for a long time, anyway.
Anyone who ever saw her in action at Dawkins’ comment threads has seen what I’m talking about, the sycophancy on steroids. Attack Dawkins, and here comes his pit bull, Paula, to defend him, no matter what. And no matter how wrong Dawkins might have been (and he can be wrong–he’s human, after all). How dare we criticize her hero! Meanies!
So a bunch of atheists didn’t take Dawkins’ display of sexism (Dear Muslima) lying down, and PK’s still having a temper tantrum about it, lo, these many moons later. How dare we criticize the alpha! He’s right in all things!
That’s what this is really all about with her.
I own a sword and a handgun and a metric shit-ton of knives, and I sort of know how to work a howitzer, and really know how to aim one.
So.. can I work in the doomsday kitchen? I’d like to avoid the purge list while getting regular hot showers.
I can do all the military electronics, keeping the guided missiles and aviation electrical, comm and nav systems going. Oh yeah–and the frickin’ lasers–somebody has to keep them operational. Might as well be me!
So when do we start taking over?
Happiestsadist says
Dammit, PZ, black and red uniforms!? I just finished doing my nails the most gorgeous shade of green!
That said, I am happy to supply the Tentacled, Feminazi Army with baked goods and delicious yet curiously potent mixed drinks of all sorts.
Oh yes, and the hornet army that follows me when I do rarely leave the house. The could be handy. (No, I have no idea why hornets have always loved me.)
tigtog says
With respect to having an anti-fan club online, this is something I’ve also had to deal with. Blogging and social media platforms give these people the capacity to dump all their trackbacks and status updates into one’s inbox, but only if one lets them i.e. only if one leaves everything on the default settings.
e.g. I turned off trackbacks and pinging on my blog, and I set up arsehat filters in my email, so that I just don’t see the links to these things front and center in my inbox at the time of the cyberbullies’ choosing – I only look at them every now and then if/when I feel curious. I wrote a post on it a few years ago, and the only thing that’s changed is a few extra filters to deal with Twitter stuff: How I Minimise The Online Abuse I Receive.
The Swordfish, Ambulatory Memory Leak says
A Hermit @ 234:
It’s perfectly straightforward. Their so-called standards are based upon a simple pair of axioms:
1. If it makes us feel like our privilege is threatened, it is BAD, EVIL, AND A THREAT TO THE MORAL ORDER.
2. If it helps us reinforce our privilege, it is RIGHT, PROPER, AND MEGA-AWESOME.
Self-centered shitstains.
Sili says
I’ve always wondered. How do you make them handle all that saltwater?
birgerjohansson says
“PZ is a biologist!!!
They lean more towards viruses that produce super-Zombies, cat eating land squids, and 2 ton church mice.”
— — — — —
What about Spiney Norman?
cm's changeable moniker says
That’s materiel for the taking! With AFBs Ellsworth, Minot, and Grand Forks, you’d probably have the world’s third-largest rational arsenal. (Alhough, isn’t this how The Handmaid’s Tale starts?)
—
@Dana, congratulations! You have given the movement its motto:
cm's changeable moniker says
On “rational arsenal”, I should probably also explain.
Kristjan Wager says
tigtog, your link is unfortunately not working.
fastlane says
I knew all that time I spent working for a defense contractor would eventually pay off. Can I be Chief Evil Scientist? I’ll accept Assistant Evil Engineer. I’ve got the plans for the OGRE MkVI I’ve been working on. My wife will gladly program the AI.
…what could go wrong?