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Jan 30 2012

Tentacular erotica for a good cause

Here’s a call for submissions for an anthology of erotic stories featuring tentacles. The deadline is 30 June, so get writing — I want some hot summer time reading. I’d send in something myself, but I’m afraid it would be so weirdly specific and technical that no one else in the world would want to read it.

Also, as a most excellent bonus, this is a charity anthology, and all proceeds go straight to Oceana, a cause I can definitely support.

47 comments

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  1. 1
    chriskg

    PZ,

    You do realize that this just adds bestiality to the list used by your detractors? Then again, they may just be jealous.

  2. 2
    Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :)

    …*eyebrow*

    *makes a note*

    *makes a note to read the rules very carefully >.>*

  3. 3
    Anthony K

    Ooh, I’ve got some great stuff already lined up—I’ll just do a ‘find and replace’.

    I bought this word processing software from the Discovery Institute, so don’t be alarmed if the draft you get has the word ‘glortentacleole’ liberally peppered throughout.

  4. 4
    prognemesiss

    what do i look like, japanese?
    Look, if you need some tentacle (rape) hentai to get your freak on, i can give you some titles to buy/download.

    i can probably get you some comic versions, but i aint gonna write any.

  5. 5
    Pteryxx

    …It doesn’t count as bestiality, because things that swim aren’t animals, right?

  6. 6
    chriskg

    This will be quote-mined and on Ken Ham’s blog in hours. Sigh. It’s all too predictable.

  7. 7
    beauquilter

    PZ

    How much control do you have over the ads here at freethought? For example, I clicked on today’s sight twice, and each time a different ad for “Sign the petition to overturn Roe Vs Wade”, was featured below this post. Is this your intention?

  8. 8
    PZ Myers

    Read the description. NO TENTACLE RAPE. They’re looking for erotica.

  9. 9
    mijan

    Huh, I read a good Star Trek fanfiction involving a highly intelligent, sentient alien with tentacles. The poor thing was just lonely, you see, and wanted to make the humans “happy.”

    Always knew Kirk had a taste for the exotic.

    I ought to tell the author to submit it. :D

  10. 10
    otrame

    The best tentacle sex stories out there are Torchwood fan fic. It is canon that Captain Jack Harkness will shag anything sentient and willing. (And Pteryxx, if the tentacled one is sentient it isn’t bestiality).

    But I suppose fan fiction won’t be eligible. Too bad. I can think of at least three off the top of my head. One is straight-up PWP (porn without plot). One is a nice little bit of porn involving adaptation to a new environment by a “bog-standard tailor’s son” from the 21st century. One includes the sex near the end of an excellent piece of science fiction that I think i’ll go re-read right now.

    So yeah. tentacle sex FTW.

  11. 11
    otrame

    @7

    He has no control at all. If I am not mistaken, however, clicking on said ads costs the advertiser money. I’m all about costing those assholes money.

  12. 12
    thewhollynone

    Checked out the Oceana nonprofit that you support. Looks very good, but only one female on the entire board of directors, and not one female on the scientific advisory committee. Why? When Oceana improves in those categories, or provides believable excuses, let me know. The tentacles of the patriarchy are everywhere!

  13. 13
    TonyJ

    Dear Pharyngula Forum,

    I never thought this would happen to me, but…

  14. 14
    christdenier

    I’ve seen enough hentai to know where this is going…..

  15. 15
    joed

    Venus On The Half-Shell
    by Kilgore Trout
    Dell Publishing, NY 1974, 1975

  16. 16
    nobilisreed

    @chriskg:

    Tentacle stories often verge on bestiality, but one thing to keep in mind is that the problem with bestiality is that the animal does not (and can not) consent. In a tentacle story, usually the consent of the creature isn’t at question.

    @Azkyroth:

    The options are pretty broad for what you can send in. The whole point of an anthology is variety.

    @Brownian:

    Am I going to have to include a glossary? Actually, that might not be a bad idea… slip a little education in there…

    @prognemesiss:

    I like to believe that what I’m publishing (I’ve already published one anthology, plus two shorts on their own) isn’t very much like what’s already out there. If it were the same-old same-old there wouldn’t be much point, would there?

    @mijan:

    Fanfic can often be legitemized by carefully filing off the serial numbers. I wrote a Young Frankenstein fanfic that I think turned out quite well…of course the fact that Young Frankenstein was itself a form of fanfic probably didn’t hurt…

    @otrame:

    Yes, fan fiction isn’t eligible unless it’s for something in the public domain. I wouldn’t mind “A Princess of Mars” fanfic, for example.

    @thewhollynone

    I researched the charities closely. The thing is, there’s no such thing as a perfect charity. Some of them have absolutely horrible administrative expenses percentages (sometimes less than 50% of the money ends up actually doing the work). Some of them have very poor transparency. Some of them aren’t inclusive of gender, race, religion, or orientation. In the end I chose one that appeared, in the end, to have the most important qualities:

    1. Doing good work
    2. Doing it well
    3. Doing it efficiently

    If gender inclusivity is a greater priority to you, may I suggest picking up a copy of “Coming Together: In Flux” which benefits the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Alliance? Or just go to the eroticanthology dot com website, and click the dropdown labeled “COMING TOGETHER’S CAUSES” and pick whichever charity you like better.

    Not every charity needs to work for every social good.

  17. 17
    Sili

    In a tentacle story, usually the consent of the creature isn’t at question.

    So sad that Ghastly’s Ghastly Webcomic died.

    But I gather Ghastly is much happier now.

  18. 18
    nobilisreed

    @joed

    Your post no verb.

  19. 19
    nobilisreed

    @sili

    Indeed… I think one of the fine things that Ghastly did was to bring the plight of poor, oppressed tentacle monsters into the light.

  20. 20
  21. 21
    joed

    http://rnuninga.home.xs4all.nl/NovCol/NCvoths.htm

    Venus On The Half-Shell
    by Kilgore Trout (Philip Jose Farmer)
    Dell Publishing, NY 1974, 1975
    This novel IS,
    Dedicated to the beasts and the stars.
    They don’t worry about free will and immortality.

  22. 22
    feralboy12

    Dear Pharyngula Forum,

    I never thought this would happen to me, but…

    And paragraph three should begin with “well, needless to say…”

  23. 23
    nobilisreed

    @F:

    I’ll read that one. I haven’t encountered it before.

    That being said:

    …better than what?

  24. 24
    nobilisreed

    @F:

    Just finished reading the story. I like how the creature’s tentacles help it understand the ship’s systems. It makes the choice of Ohree’s shape more meaningful.

    The transformation of Ohree’s body from tentacular to human mirrors the transformation of his mind and outlook. He’s not invading and inflicting, he’s receiving and adapting. It’s a story about transcending the destiny imposed by society.

    The tentacles there are a signifier of alien-ness. That’s the same role you find in a lot of tentacle sex stories; the creature with the tentacles is unknowably alien.

  25. 25
    Anthony K

    The tentacles there are a signifier of alien-ness. That’s the same role you find in a lot of tentacle sex stories; the creature with the tentacles is unknowably alien.

    What? Tentacles are alien? What about those gross, weird fingers you all hav—ah, I mean, er, we all have and are completely normal?

    [Unlocks 'Abort mission' button embedded within 'wrist', waits for sign that cover is blown before calling for evac and decontamination.
    ...
    No one seems to notice.]

    So, how about that local sports team, eh fellow humans?

  26. 26
    Rip Steakface

    Don’t worry, Brownian, The Line won’t be evaporating any time soon.

  27. 27
    anuran

    I’ve corresponded with Ghastly. He finds the idea interesting. If The Stars Are Right maybe we’ll see some Tentacle Monsters and the Women (Men, Demons, Aliens, Transient Beings) Who Love Them submitted for publication.

  28. 28
    nobilisreed

    @anuran:

    I look forward to it! I have to admit that Ghastly is one of my influences in this particular area.

  29. 29
    opposablethumbs

    Brownian, we’ve noticed but we really like it a lot (or even alot, if the alot from an earlier incarnation of TET (iirc) is still wandering about around here).

    Tentacle fic is undeniably fun.

  30. 30
    cyberCMDR

    Didn’t they do this in Galaxy Quest?

  31. 31
    nobilisreed

    @cybercmdr:

    Do what?

  32. 32
    cyberCMDR

    The movie, Galaxy Quest. The aliens in the movie were normally big tentacled things, but had some device to make them look human around their “heroes”. Their heroes were actually actors from a TV series (spoof of Star Trek) the aliens had observed transmitted from Earth, which they had interpreted as “historical records”.

    One of the actors from the cancelled series fell in love with one of the aliens. There was a scene where they started kissing, and one of her tentacles came up over his shoulder. He looked, went back to kissing and they sank down to the floor.

  33. 33
    nobilisreed

    @cybercmdr:

    Ah, yes… that scene. Well, I do hope the stories submitted to this anthology are a bit more courageous than that.

    ;)

  34. 34
    cyberCMDR

    I’m sure they will be, knowing this crowd. Guess there will be a lot of suckers for love… ;-)

  35. 35
    anuran

    Sperm tattoos and detachable spooge-filled arms are already pretty out there.

  36. 36
    WMDKitty -- Survivor

    This DEMANDS Cthulhu-porn.

    You know, he does EAT his followers…

  37. 37
    nobilisreed

    @WMDKitty

    I would be disappointed if I didn’t get at least one.

  38. 38
    Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :)

    *wonders idly how long 7500 words is* O.o

  39. 39
    chigau (違う)

    Azkyroth

    *wonders idly how long 7500 words is* O.o

    From the depths of time and the printed typed page:
    8 1/5 by 11 inch page, 1 inch margins, 10 or 12 point type, double-spaced lines … about 30 pages.

  40. 40
    otrame

    Oh, Brownian, honey, didn’t you ever question why everyone wants Ghey Secks with you? We knew. We always knew. We just didn’t care. Openminded, most of us here. And in some cases, having read about tentacle sex, we were just a bit, well, curious.

    I’ll be in my bunk…

  41. 41
    Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :)

    Err, no, that can’t be right; I have a 75 page story that’s 48,000 words. >.>

  42. 42
    chigau (違う)

    Azkyroth
    jeeez!! have you printed it?
    My “formula” was a rule-of-thumb for term papers (on paper by typewriter) in the 1970s.

  43. 43
    Anthony K

    We knew. We always knew. We just didn’t care.

    Dear Council,

    These humans continue to surprise me. I haven’t time now, but I will file a lengthy report when I’ve completed my analysis.

    Zyblor out.

    Now that that’s out of the way—

    Dear Intergalactic Forum,

    I never thought I’d be writing to you…

  44. 44
    DLC

    Once you had tentacle you’ll never go back, baby!

  45. 45
    Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :)

    Azkyroth
    jeeez!! have you printed it?
    My “formula” was a rule-of-thumb for term papers (on paper by typewriter) in the 1970s.

    No. It’s also single spaced and written in a fairly colloquial style, so the average word length is shorter. Though there’s an extra space between paragraphs.

  46. 46
    marlorocci

    Any japanese anime.

    done

  47. 47
    salahhesali

    It has always been my dream to have a tentacle porn story as my literary debut. I am sure this is true for most of us…

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