Oh, Look At The Tree! I Can’t Breathe!

It’s Christmas in the city; they’re about to light the tree
It’s a magical occasion, just as far as we can see;
All the networks have their angles—it’s as festive as can be—
New York City in December, oh, such pride!

Folks are marching, folks are chanting, folks are caught up in the day
But the tree is not the focus—no, as near as I can say,
It’s not ornaments, but prejudice, that’s clearly on display
Damn, I miss the war on Christmas—no one died. [Read more…]

Tom Magliozzi Has Died

Bad news on the radio–Tom Magliozzi has died. I have squandered literally hundreds of hours of my life listening to Tom and Ray–Click and Clack–give good and bad advice (but always entertaining advice), and had harbored a secret desire to hear Tommy read one of my verses (below) on the show. Alas, it never happened, and now it never will. [Read more…]

Spock, Kirk, Atheism, and Freethought Blogs

I’ve just met a straw-man called “Spocking”; it’s shocking,
But some might believe it’s how atheists act!
Where logic is king, not emotion—the notion
That every decision is based upon fact
These atheists put their reliance in science
Forgetting illusory “feelings” or “dreams”
Eschewing all base superstition; their mission
Is reason, perfected… or that’s how it seems.

What all people need, to be working, is “Kirking”,
Humanity’s hero—with all of his flaws
Kirk’s quirks are not bugs with space creatures—they’re features!
And Spock’s an affront to humanity’s cause!
It’s Kirkish to strive, boldly going—no knowing
The odds, cos what counts is emotion, not thought
The godless feel nothing, quite clearly (or nearly)
They’re cold, heartless bastards… except that they’re not. [Read more…]

“Christian Sexual Atheists?”

Donald is a farmer; he’s a steward of the earth
He’s a bible-thumping Christian, too, since practically his birth
He’s on all the church committees, cos he knows religion’s worth
And he’s never had a meal without a prayer.
Mary has a part-time job—a local clothing store
Her husband leads the household, and she wishes nothing more
She also is a Christian; she was saved when only four
Oh, and she and Don are having an affair. [Read more…]

The Doctor Is In

This was rubbish! This was horrid!
This was brain-insulting stuff!
This was far too complicated
Or, perhaps, not quite enough!
All the writers should be fired,
With about two-thirds the cast
They could never hold a candle
To the folks from seasons past—
Why, I still remember watching
[Insert favorite doctor here]
And [some previous companion]
From the best and greatest year
This new Doctor disappoints me
Most completely, it would seem
(And you mustn’t get me started
On the credits or the theme)

Yes, my utter disappointment
Makes it difficult to speak…
So expect me here, like clockwork,
To complain again next week. [Read more…]

“Black Twitter Is The Internet At Its Best” (a villanelle)

“The following alert is not a test”,
The TV said–We knew that they were wrong:
(Black twitter is the Internet at its best.)

When ranks of cops, in riot gear were dressed,
They tried to quell the crowd with this strange song:
“The following alert is not a test!

We urge you to comply with our request!”
“Request”? A lie, but not for long:
Black twitter is the Internet at its best.

The propaganda leaves us unimpressed—
A fading view they’re trying to prolong–
“The following alert is not a test”

But… yes, it is; it measures the unrest,
The inability to “play along”…
Black twitter is the Internet at its best

Black twitter sees the marchers, ten abreast,
As canisters of tear gas hit the throng…
The following alert is not a test:
Black twitter is the Internet at its best [Read more…]