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Pastor Tries To Walk On Water Like Jesus (Spoiler: Fails, Drowns)

Pastor Franck Kabele did his best to walk on water
He drowned, which gives a hint, perhaps, he really hadn’t oughter;
A tip, to those who emulate the miracles of Jesus:
You want to walk on water? Best to wait until it freezus.

(Edit–see the first comment; I screwed up. On the other hand, most of my comment is about the comments at allchristiannews, rather than about the alleged incident, so I’ll leave this post, with that caveat.)

Via AllChristianNews.com, a story that should (but doesn’t) serve as a cautionary tale:

Walking on water is not easy. Not too many people have the ability. Let’s see, there’s Jesus, and well, that’s about it. Unfortunately for one pastor on the West Coast of Africa, his attempt to become the second man to make this impossible feat a reality cost him his life.

Pastor Franck Kabele, 35, told his congregation that he was capable of reenacting the very miracles of Jesus Christ. He decided to make it clear through way of demonstration on Gabon’s beach in the capital city of Libreville.

Referencing Matthew 14:22-33, Kabele said that he received a revelation which told him that with enough faith he could achieve what Jesus was able to.

I’ve known a few pastors; without exception, they were intelligent, compassionate, good men and women. Sure, I’ve seen examples of bad pastors, but none in person. This man, as far as I know, was a good and honest man, whose only fault was immersion in a belief system that likely convinced him of its reality while he was but a child. It is religion, not religious people, that is defective.

Which is something to keep in mind, should you choose to read the comments there. Quite a mix–some insist Kabele had insufficient faith (he had sufficient faith to make the attempt, though!); some deplore (while others defend) the role of Christianity in combat with indigenous religions; some call this yet more evidence against the myths of the bible; others point to the overwhelming evidence for Jesus’ existence (and are immediately asked for said evidence, which never fails not to satisfy).

My favorite, so far is this comment, in response to a “have you even read the bible? I have!” sort of comment:

…Yes. I’ve read it cover to cover. Along with thousands of other books, through the decades. I have a doctorate in world religion, and degrees in ancient civilizations, earth sciences, and am currently working on a three volume medical encyclopedia looking at the etiology of diseases and seeking investments for research I think will cure a few. So, yeah, I’m pretty knowledgeable about a great many things. Before you ask a question, be ready for the answer. I also happen to be indigenous Native American and from a long line of priests and prophets. What I said to you you can bank on. You will soon discover if God is real because you will be seeing Him face to face or staring at a blank screen if you choose to believe that. You have a short road ahead of you. And it has nothing to do with your cynicism or “religion”. It is your destiny and one you have chosen. Remember that. No more engagement with you. Too busy. Peace.

An impressive person–from a long line of priests and prophets, holds a Ph. D., is “Pastor and Founder at Crusade for Christ True Gospel Institute for Creative Science”. Them’s some serious bona fides.

Oh, if you actually look at her institute, she also goes by “Rabbi”, so I think that might be BINGO by this point. And apparently, she has big news… this was posted today:

SAINTS IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU ALL BE AT SERVICE TODAY FOR THE PROPHETIC PREVIEW OF WHAT IS HAPPENING ON OUR PLANET RIGHT NOW. THIS AFFECTS US ALL. I REALIZE IT IS COLD AND A BIT RAINY THIS AM. BUT THE RAIN WILL PASS AND THE COLD WILL BE TOLERABLE. WHAT I HAVE TO SAY IS IMPORTANT ENOUGH FOR YOU TO BRAVE THE CHILL AND BE PRESENT. BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY THAT YOU WILL NOT HEAR THIS ANYPLACE ELSE. FURTHER, YOU SHOULD CALL UP A FRIEND OR FAMILY MEMBER AND INVITE THEM TO COME. IF SOMEONE DOESN’T HAVE A RIDE AND YOU HAVE TRANSPORTATION TO BRING THEM, BE UNSELFISH AND DO SO. YOU DO NOT NEED TO MISS THIS INSIGHT INTO THE FUTURE. IT MAY NOT COME AGAIN. YOU ALL KNOW I DON’T DO THIS OFTEN AND WHEN I DO, YOU CAN BANK ON IT.

The service was due to start at 2:30 PM, so I assume the announcement was already made, but there is no update. Maybe the world ended, I don’t know.

But hey, this sort of announcement does not come every day. I mean, compare to yesterday:

Shalom. Pausing to thank Bro. Albert for taking time out of his busy schedule to help with the heating system. We should be fairly warm for the extra cold days. Monday is expected to be in teens. Also saints, my budget for this week is $2000. Join with me in prayer to meet this goal. I think those of you who have followed this ministry through the years know that every dollar invested is one we have labored for and one we do not misuse. Tried and tested through the years, we stand. Unshaken. Support what gives you life~ Rabbi Khelama

So, anyway, my saints, the cuttlebudget for this week is … dammit, I just can’t. I just know that she is asking more in donations in a week than I made in book sales in 5 years. Much, much more.

Anyway, I’ve gotten off topic. Pastor Kabele appears to have died because of his belief. Rabbi Khelama appears to be doing very well in the same system (well, broadly the same system). In both cases, frankly, the system of religion stinks.

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