Sep 01 2012


I saw Clint Eastwood use a chair
To mock a man who wasn’t there.
He spoke at length, as if he heard;
The chair, of course, spoke not a word.

The chat was broadcast on TV
For all the world to watch and see
And there at the convention hall
The chair held no one—none at all!
Go ahead, go ahead, you know what to say
Go ahead, go ahead, Go ahead—make my day… (blam!)

I saw Clint Eastwood use a chair
To mock a man who wasn’t there;
It might seem strange, but no more odd
Than talking to an absent God.

For those who need the terribly clever pun in the title explained, your first clue is the title of the original poem on which this is based.


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  1. 1

    Ah, reading the original does make this all the more delicious. Thanks.

  2. 2
    niftyatheist, perpetually threadrupt

    Ahahaha! I knew that was it but your pun (antagonisT?) is wonderful and of course knowing the apparent irrationality of the original poem, made me read this one with the same feeling. Excellent, as usual, dear Cuttlefish!

  3. 3
    Stan Brooks

    Had to share this with my FB friends. Very well done, and oh so appropriate. Kudos to you my friend.

  4. 4
    Die Anyway

    I learned it slightly differently from my childhood fairy tale books:

    As I was going up the stair
    I met a man who wasn’t there
    He wasn’t there again today
    I wish that man would go away.

    but I knew right away you were making a play on that.

  5. 5

    That’s actually how I remember it as well, D.A. And I didn’t know the title. But when I saw it, I had to use it.

  6. 6
    StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    There once was an actor called Eastwood
    A great speaker? Republicans sure thought that he sure would
    They got him a chair
    But he spoke to the air
    And got his boss looking the least good!

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