Monthly Archive: September 2010

Sep 30 2010

Pew Poll Pablum

When you study religion in college, your knowledgeGoes straight to your memory, missing your heart;For people who lack the emotion, the notionOf putting down faith makes them feel really smart.Unless it’s a testable question, suggestionsOf heavenly forces are mocked and ignored;The good-hearted folks who find kneeling appealingAre held in contempt by the atheist horde. The …

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Sep 30 2010

Blasphemy Day Again?

Calloo, Callay! It’s blasphemy day!When we tug on the beard of the prophet;When we say to the pope, “you’re a miserable dope;That ex cathedra chair? Just get off it!”We point out that god is an impotent sod–If indeed we assume god exists–Just a vanishing fable, forever unableTo step from mythology’s mists.Here’s your chance to express …

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Sep 29 2010

The Miracle Butterfly!

I thought I saw a butterfly,Of all unlikely things,Pure white against the utter blackAn angel’s fragile wingsIt led me on to safetyThrough the darkness of the mine—A messenger from Heaven, itWas God’s Own Holy Sign—A tiny little butterflyTo show His Will Divine. It fluttered in the mineshaftA half a mile below,Though how it could have …

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Sep 26 2010

Holy Compost!

As we bury these books full of hatredWe notice that nobody mournsAnd we wonder, though roses were planted,Might it only grow briars and thorns? But no–we’ll see beautiful blossomsAnd the reason (it seem so, to me)Is, the carbon long bound to this follyIs delighted, at last, to be free And the earth could be covered …

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Sep 25 2010

The Ballad Of Christine O’Donnell

One Saturday morning, a beautiful day,With nothing much better to do,I thought I’d examine a question I had,So I went off to visit the zoo. The monkeys were swinging on bars in their cage—I watched, the entire day long—But not one of the monkeys evolved to a man;That’s how I know Darwin was wrong. Empirical …

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Sep 23 2010

The Minds Of Machines

My telephone wants my attention; I can tell by the way that it yells. It announces these things by the way that it rings Its annoying cacophonous bells. My car wants to see the mechanic, And says so by flashing a light; I’m quite apprehensive–it’s always expensive When something goes wrong (and it might!). My …

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Sep 22 2010

On Hallucinogens As A Path To Enlightenment

I’ve seen the light–the other light– The real one! Really seen it! It’s more than real, it’s really real, (That’s how you know I mean it) It’s more than just “agreed upon By others who observe it”– Your thinking’s far too linear; Take lots of drugs and curve it. I know it’s real, despite the …

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Sep 18 2010

The War On Christmas Comes *Really* Early This Year

(cuttlecap tip to BlagHag) (sorry about the formatting) No, really. It’s apparently real–not a spoof. And it’s got a Baldwin brother! Extra points to anyone who made it through the whole trailer without either laughing or facepalming. No wonder people look at me strangely when they find I’m an atheist; this movie presents what they …

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Sep 17 2010

I Got Yer Tentacles Right Here, Guy!

“Any entity – no matter how many tentacles it has – has a soul.”–Guy Consolmagno, Vatican Astronomer I have no soul; I have no spirit,No quintessential vital force;That subtle voice? I cannot hear it;My life has no unearthly source.I have no god; I have no angel,Devil, pixie, sprite or elf;I don’t believe that prayer for …

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Sep 16 2010

Prolate Spheroids

A physicist may be described(to first approximation)As a simple prolate spheroidOf infectious obfuscation.Attempts to oversimplifyReveal their odd propensityTo speak of spheroid cattleWhich are uniform in density—Their perfect planes are frictionless;Collisions are elastic;They’re rarely seen acknowledgingThe random or stochastic.The chaos of the world outsideMay leave them full of fears;Such terra incognitaMight be filled with… Engineers! (Of …

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