Monthly Archive: February 2010

Feb 28 2010

Goodbye, John Reed

Although I have been accused of trying to be the incarnation of W. S. Gilbert (high praise I don’t come close to deserving!), I have a confession: In the constellation of all things G&S, although I admired Gilbert tremendously, he was never my source of inspiration. When I think of Gilbert and Sullivan, my thoughts …

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Feb 26 2010

Stormy Weather In Cuttletown

When the power goes out And I’m starting to doubtThat the house will be here in the morningWhen the wind and the rainBring us heartache and painLike some biblical end-of-days warningWhen the snapping of treesBrings the town to its kneesAnd our courage is starting to ebbDoes it make me a dopeIf my one fervent hopeWas …

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Feb 20 2010

Lindsey Vonn Puts Faith In Cheeses, Wins Gold

Lindsey Vonn was badly bruised; Her shin was black and blue.But these are the Olympic Games–Whatever would she do?Some athletes rub on emu fat;For some, placenta pleases–But Lindsey Vonn’s a different sort:She put her faith in cheeses. She could not race until she healed;Her hopes would all be lost,And so went where cheese is pricedTo …

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Feb 19 2010

He’s A Maine-i-quack!

If I thought I had the answerTo a killer such as cancerI would fight against The Lord, HimselfTo make my findings known;To make certain I was certainI would gladly raise the curtainSo that anyone could take a shotAt what, therein, was shown. I would never ask immunityTo jabs from the communityIf doing so would cover …

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Feb 14 2010

Blame It On The Vaccines

My right hand twitches, my left hand itches,My knees won’t stay in the legs of my britches,The man on TV says it’s probably witches,My dad says it’s all in my genes.My vision is hazy, and one eye is lazy,The ache in my hip makes me thnk it’s dysplasia,People are looking at me like I’m crazy,I’m …

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Feb 12 2010

Cuttlefish Classic: Happy Birthday Charles Darwin

On the newsstand at the stationThere it was, a publicationWith a bold prevaricationWhere it asked “Was Darwin Wrong?”Darwin stands among the giantsOf our modern view of scienceSo, in answer and defianceI’m replying in this song: Happy Birthday, Charles Darwin, take a look around today—You might recognize the path we took, cos you showed us the …

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Feb 11 2010

The Learned Judge Blair

The learned Judge showed mercy,For she knew the man devout;One cannot be religious, andA brutal, lowly lout–Religion shows the brighter light,Not worldly, but sublime;You’d never break a fellow’s jaw…Except, of course, this time. The learned judge, she reasonedThat forgiveness was the path;She’d demonstrate God’s mercyWhen she could have picked God’s wrath.A judge who follows faithfullyCould …

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Feb 10 2010

Girl, 16, Buried Alive

How dare she talk to boys as friends!It’s time to dig a holeThis is where her flirting ends!It’s time to dig a holeAt sixteen years, a headstrong girlGet in the hole and kneelShe used to be my precious pearlGet in the hole and kneelShe would not bend to my demandsA shovel-full of dirtSo hold her …

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Feb 08 2010

Why Not Use The Bible As A Science Book?

It’s not hatred; it’s not loathing;It’s the emperor’s new clothing,And Creationism doesn’t have a stitch.There’s no bible-methodologyThat’s better than biology–It seems a level playing-field’s a bitch. When the real world’s more excitingThan some Aramaic writing,Cos it adds to what we know about ourself,Then the bible’s contributionWhen it comes to evolutionIs most useful when you keep …

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Feb 07 2010

Super Bowl Sunday, Redux

A repost from a year ago, and pretty much nothing at all has changed. My wish is that one of these years, a QB is going to say “well, first of all, I gotta give it all up for my lord and savior Jesus Christ, without whom nothing is possible. I couldn’t have done what …

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