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Apr 01 2012

Urban renewal

Oh damn, wouldn’t you know it, grumble grumble. Here I’ve been friends with Maryam for years but we hadn’t met, so three weeks ago we did at last meet, to our mutual joy, and what happens? She leaves FTB and her heretical ways to get in touch with her fun feminine side. She tells me she’s always loved fashion, and she’s going to go into the trendy decorative hijab line.

“I love beautiful fabrics and colours,” she told me on Skype, ”and what a great canvas you have in a burqa! Yards and yards of the stuff, to fill up with your own creative genius.”

Well yes. You know the sort of thing she means.

 

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All very decorative and creative, to be sure, but couldn’t she just work with T shirts and jackets instead? Couldn’t she design clothes that are…you know…secular?

“They don’t use as much fabric!” she explained with a merry laugh.

Ok, then why not curtains, quilts, murals, tablecloths? Why not paintings, for that matter?

“Ah,” Maryam said dreamily, “but think how beautiful it is to decorate our cities with all these sparkling brightly-coloured women. Imagine all the cities in the world crowded with magenta and peacock-blue and scarlet embroidered women. I can see it now.”

She has plans for a Fashion Calendar for 2013.

11 comments

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  1. 1
    geoffwhelan

    Ha! That’s almost as good as the drug addled Shaun Ryder, of Happy Mondays fame being tapped up to advise David Cameron on class and detoxifying the Tories http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2012/apr/01/cameron-shaun-ryder-advise-tories

  2. 2
    Ophelia Benson

    It’s all about T shirts, one way or another!

  3. 3
    BenSix

    Haha! Very good.

  4. 4
    mirax

    What? All of you guys are leaving and none of you is taking comrade fucken physioproffe with you??!! You arent playing nice.

  5. 5
    Aratina Cage

    The photos reminded me of Easter egg dyeing for some reason.

  6. 6
    Comradde PhysioProffe

    I’m the only one left, motherfucker!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!

  7. 7
    Eamon Knight

    Just to hang a (semi-)serious point on the joking: a while ago, my wife and I saw a young (ie: teenage) Muslim woman in our neighbourhood. She was wearing skin-tight jeans and a tight jean jacket, topped with a hot pink head scarf (that last item making her pretty hard to miss).

    My wife and I looked at each other and said: gotta love the keeping the letter of the law while totally subverting the spirit ;-).

  8. 8
    Cassanders

    hmmm
    April 1. isn’t it ?

    Cassanders
    In Cod we trust

  9. 9
    Godless Heathen

    Eamon @7,

    Ha! Thanks for sharing that.

    I have a similar story. I have some relatives (great aunts and second (or once removed) cousins or something) who are Modern Orthodox Jews. A few years ago my aunt went to a bar mitzvah for one of them, and the girls’ two older sisters were wearing skintight dresses with long-sleeved shirts and leggings under them.

    Same letter/spirit dealy!

  10. 10
    Eristae

    I rather wish I could wear something like those in the winter. I think they look pretty in a heat saving kind of way.

  11. 11
    Theo Bromine

    Eris @10;

    Why *can’t* you “wear something like those in the winter”? Would it be a violation of the FreeThinkers Dress Code(TM)?

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