The Middlesex-London Health Unit in Ontario decided it needed a new way to reach high schoolers when it comes to sex education. And what do teenagers like more than video games? The result is quite possibly the most bizarre game ever, Adventures in Sex City.
Sounds awesome, right?! The game is just a True or False quiz about various sex facts. That part of the game is actually pretty good; it covers a lot of common misconceptions people have. But that’s not the strange part. Let’s meet the characters you get so select from the Sex Squad:
- Wonder Vag “is a virgin, believes in true love and promotes abstinence until marriage.” She’s also a stereotypical blonde white girl.
- Willy the Kid “was bullied as a child because he never grew taller tjem 4 feet, and is now sensitive to others who are different. He joined Sex Squad to prove size doesn’t matter.” Except that he’s drawn with a giant bulging package, and is black. Totally not stereotypical. Oh, and apparently his special power is “massive rock hard strength.” What?
- Power Pap “is sexually active and is a strong believer in getting tested regularly. After a close encounter with a horrible STI, she was treated and now dedicates her life to testing and pap tests.” She also looks Latino to me, but I’m going to assume I’m looking way too into this and it’s not some message about race and sexual activity.
- Captain Condom “was a scientist who constantly worked in his lab to create the perfect condom. Due to a freak accident, he is now half condom half man.” Oh scientists. What’s his special power, he likes people ejaculating inside of him?
But cheesy superheroes isn’t the bad part. “In the dark of the night, Sex City is in panic because of the terrible Sperminator whose sole mission is to infect all citizens with various sexually transmitted infections.” Gem over at Startled Disbelief has to best summary of this super villain:
The Sperminator is “a flying burly white guy in a Speedo and Mexican wrestling mask, with two giant penises for arms.”…The Sperminator spews STI-infected sperm onto your character, causing your character to utter phrases such as “Eww, that’s sticky!” or “Aagh, right in the face!”
“That said, this isn’t really a game. It’s a true-or-false sex-ed exam with a really bizarre hook. I’m sure that’s the point: the designers want it to be so over-the-top ridiculous that people are clamouring to play it even though it’s a terrible game—and in playing it, these people might actually learn something. As terrible as the game is, I’m convinced that it will likely accomplish its goal.”
The only thing the worries me is the way they portray the Sperminator. I know it’s a silly game, but should we really be labeling people with STI’s as evil, horrible people who are purposefully going around trying to infect others? People with incurable STIs are still able to have loving relationships.
Anyway, appropriate advice for Valentine’s Day: don’t be a fool, wrap your tool. And go play that silly game.