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Jan 12 2010

Is your vagina pink enough?!

Oh goodie! Just when I thought society was starting to run out of ways to make women shameful about their bodies, we get My New Pink Button, “a temporary dye to restore the youthful pink color back to your labia.” I can’t make this shit up, people.As if women didn’t already have seventy billion “beauty products” marketed to them as necessary essentials, now we have to worry about the color of our fucking vaginas? If a guy complained to me that my vagina wasn’t pink enough, I wouldn’t have to buy this product because that guy would not be seeing my vagina again any time soon.

I’m not going to stop women from wearing make up, using creams, attempting bizarre diets, or dying their vagina. Whatever, that’s your choice – even I enjoy getting dolled up once in a blue moon. But feeling beautiful is different from being shamed into body modification. Not only are we adding insecurities, but it’s simply a waste of money. One jar is $29.95 and contains 20 uses, each which last up to 72 hours. If somebody is seeing your vagina frequently enough that you need it pinkified every day, minus a week each month for a period let’s say, you’ll spend about $140 on this stuff a year. I’m sorry, but I have better things to do with my money.

At least they give you options, though. You can choose from four shades of pink, cutely named Marilyn, Bettie, Audry, and Ginger, the last one specifically made for “Women of Color.” …Yeah, I don’t need to say any more, do I?

(Via Womanist Musings)

100 comments

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  1. 1
    Jaki

    I wonder if Marilyn, Bettie, Audry and Ginger would be happy to know that they have vagina dye named after them. Doesn't seem very classy, eh?

  2. 2
    Jaki

    I wonder if Marilyn, Bettie, Audry and Ginger would be happy to know that they have vagina dye named after them. Doesn’t seem very classy, eh?

  3. 3
    Leeny

    The ingredients aren't even listed anywhere! Who would put that on their hoo-hah without knowing what's in it??

  4. 4
    Leeny

    The ingredients aren’t even listed anywhere! Who would put that on their hoo-hah without knowing what’s in it??

  5. 5
    Joé McKen

    I’m too busy feeling puzzled and incredulous to summon up any outrage, really.

  6. 6
    Joé McKen

    I’m too busy feeling puzzled and incredulous to summon up any outrage, really.

  7. 7
    Sili

    "Oh goodie! Just when I thought society was starting to run out of ways to make women shameful about their bodies"

    Sounds like you haven't seen anal bleaching yet.

    Does it at least taste good?

  8. 8
    Sili

    “Oh goodie! Just when I thought society was starting to run out of ways to make women shameful about their bodies”Sounds like you haven’t seen anal bleaching yet.Does it at least taste good?

  9. 9
    Veritas

    No, my vagina isn't pink enough, thanks for asking. I wonder who worries about such things?

  10. 10
    Veritas

    No, my vagina isn’t pink enough, thanks for asking. I wonder who worries about such things?

  11. 11
    Pete Knight

    That is so sexist, where is the purple polish to brighten up my bell-end? I wish to restore the youthful purple glow to my knob, I suppose I could always use blackcurrent juice!!

    Right, I'm off to polish my knob now.

  12. 12
    Pete Knight

    That is so sexist, where is the purple polish to brighten up my bell-end? I wish to restore the youthful purple glow to my knob, I suppose I could always use blackcurrent juice!!Right, I’m off to polish my knob now.

  13. 13
    PersonalFailure

    How pink is pink enough? I . . . I . . . I've neve reven stopped to consider that my labia may not be sufficiently pink. How would I even know? Do men actually find themselves viewing woman's vaginas and thinking, "meh, could be pinker"? rly?

  14. 14
    PersonalFailure

    How pink is pink enough? I . . . I . . . I’ve neve reven stopped to consider that my labia may not be sufficiently pink. How would I even know? Do men actually find themselves viewing woman’s vaginas and thinking, “meh, could be pinker”? rly?

  15. 15
    Epiktetos

    There is a salmon joke in there somewhere… Though this is even more bizarre than dying salmon pink.

  16. 16
    Epiktetos

    There is a salmon joke in there somewhere… Though this is even more bizarre than dying salmon pink.

  17. 17
    Denise

    The fools! Don't they know Ginger should be for the redheads???

  18. 18
    Denise

    The fools! Don’t they know Ginger should be for the redheads???

  19. 19
    The Jules

    At last.

    The number of times I've been put off having sex with a lady because her labia weren't pink enough.

  20. 20
    The Jules

    At last.The number of times I’ve been put off having sex with a lady because her labia weren’t pink enough.

  21. 21
    BeamStalk

    I am with The Jules, it is about time somebody addressed this! I have taken many a lady home just to be turned off because their labia was not nearly pink enough. This would give those women at least a temporary chance at one night happiness with me.

  22. 22
    BeamStalk

    I am with The Jules, it is about time somebody addressed this! I have taken many a lady home just to be turned off because their labia was not nearly pink enough. This would give those women at least a temporary chance at one night happiness with me.

  23. 23
    Adam

    Do they have one for manginas? Does it double as a deodorant? WHY?!?!

    So many questions..

  24. 24
    Adam

    Do they have one for manginas? Does it double as a deodorant? WHY?!?!So many questions..

  25. 25
    Hugo Grinebiter

    "No, my vagina isn't pink enough, thanks for asking. I wonder who worries about such things?"- Chimpanzees, of course! (cf. Brin's "The Uplift War")

    "Do men actually find themselves viewing woman's vaginas and thinking, "meh, could be pinker"?"- Not this one. Anyone else?

  26. 26
    Hugo Grinebiter

    “No, my vagina isn’t pink enough, thanks for asking. I wonder who worries about such things?”- Chimpanzees, of course! (cf. Brin’s “The Uplift War”)”Do men actually find themselves viewing woman’s vaginas and thinking, “meh, could be pinker”?”- Not this one. Anyone else?

  27. 27
    Haewood Jathink

    Interesting post. I actually provide a service (and it's even free) where a woman can show me her vagina and I will compliment it. I also provide the same service for breasts and the rear end.

  28. 28
    Haewood Jathink

    Interesting post. I actually provide a service (and it’s even free) where a woman can show me her vagina and I will compliment it. I also provide the same service for breasts and the rear end.

  29. 29
    Hugo Grinebiter

    @Haewood: After complimenting it, do you complement it?

  30. 30
    Hugo Grinebiter

    @Haewood: After complimenting it, do you complement it?

  31. 31
    Noah

    @Hugo: The complementing comes along naturally as he compliments.

    @Jen: Oh wow. This is ridiculous. I mean, seriously? I watch a lot of porn. No really, a lot. But never once in my seven years have I ever thought, "Huh, could be pinker." Dumbdumbdumb.

  32. 32
    Noah

    @Hugo: The complementing comes along naturally as he compliments.@Jen: Oh wow. This is ridiculous. I mean, seriously? I watch a lot of porn. No really, a lot. But never once in my seven years have I ever thought, “Huh, could be pinker.” Dumbdumbdumb.

  33. 33
    Rex

    Wow, just wow!

    Looks like I need your guidance on how to set up my news reader!

    I NEVER get top quality insanity like this in MY feed!

  34. 34
    Rex

    Wow, just wow!Looks like I need your guidance on how to set up my news reader!I NEVER get top quality insanity like this in MY feed!

  35. 35
    Anonymous

    What. The. Hell.

    That has got to be the strangest thing I've seen all day. Who comes up with this stuff? And more importantly, who's buying it?

  36. 36
    Anonymous

    What. The. Hell.That has got to be the strangest thing I’ve seen all day. Who comes up with this stuff? And more importantly, who’s buying it?

  37. 37
    latez

    Sweetheart, you're going to need much more then a pink pussy to attract a suitor.

  38. 38
    latez

    Sweetheart, you’re going to need much more then a pink pussy to attract a suitor.

  39. 39
    mingfrommongo

    This entire article is just a dodge; the question is never answered.

  40. 40
    mingfrommongo

    This entire article is just a dodge; the question is never answered.

  41. 41
    James

    Apparently, guys can also have problems with pinkness…

    From the FAQ:Q. “Can you use this solution on other body parts”?

    A. Yes, this can be used on the nipples and men’s genitals.

  42. 42
    James

    Apparently, guys can also have problems with pinkness…From the FAQ:Q. “Can you use this solution on other body parts”?A. Yes, this can be used on the nipples and men’s genitals.

  43. 43
    Buffy

    WTF?

  44. 44
    Buffy

    WTF?

  45. 45
    Julie

    Anyone else see this going horribly wrong? As in a woman using way too much of this product, far too often, and winding up with a DayGlo pink vag? Can you imagine the first time she spreads her thighs for someone to go down on her, and they stop short because the glare from her readioactive labia is searing their retinas?

  46. 46
    Julie

    Anyone else see this going horribly wrong? As in a woman using way too much of this product, far too often, and winding up with a DayGlo pink vag? Can you imagine the first time she spreads her thighs for someone to go down on her, and they stop short because the glare from her readioactive labia is searing their retinas?

  47. 47
    Anonymous

    Dear Blag Hag,

    Vulva =/= vagina. Just sayin'.

  48. 48
    Anonymous

    Dear Blag Hag,Vulva =/= vagina. Just sayin’.

  49. 49
    Anonymous

    Believe it or not, in the past I actually have spent time worrying about the fact that my vulva isn't pink, mostly because I was worried I was the only one with this 'freakish abnormality'. So, I can see why this product would have been created.I still don't think I'd be willing to spend money on the pink-ification of my genitalia, though.

  50. 50
    Riayn

    I see that like almost everyone else I am bewildered that people actually worried about this or that men would really criticise women for not having a pink enough labia.

    This almost seems like someone is trying to create a niche market for their excess pink dye stocks.

  51. 51
    Riayn

    I see that like almost everyone else I am bewildered that people actually worried about this or that men would really criticise women for not having a pink enough labia.This almost seems like someone is trying to create a niche market for their excess pink dye stocks.

  52. 52
    sbh

    Sounds to me like a solution in search of a problem.

  53. 53
    sbh

    Sounds to me like a solution in search of a problem.

  54. 54
    mike

    Ginger… hehe… seems apt when you think of it while listening to some of Tim's stuff http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0IVuGK7sAw :D

  55. 55
    mike

    Ginger… hehe… seems apt when you think of it while listening to some of Tim’s stuff http://www.youtube.com/watch?v… :D

  56. 56
    Stephan

    You know what comes to mind? If your woman's labia aren't pink enough, that probably means there wasn't enough foreplay.

  57. 57
    Stephan

    You know what comes to mind? If your woman’s labia aren’t pink enough, that probably means there wasn’t enough foreplay.

  58. 58
    Bud

    As if women don't have enough societal pressure to look a certain way. This is ridiculous. I have never stopped to consider how pink a vagina should be. I've always been too busy being happy whenever I've had the chance to see one.

  59. 59
    Bud

    As if women don’t have enough societal pressure to look a certain way. This is ridiculous. I have never stopped to consider how pink a vagina should be. I’ve always been too busy being happy whenever I’ve had the chance to see one.

  60. 60
    Erp

    And I wonder how many people are going to see a doctor due to an allergic reaction.

  61. 61
    Erp

    And I wonder how many people are going to see a doctor due to an allergic reaction.

  62. 62
  63. 63
    Yellow Hat Guy

    I’ve seen worse.http://superfunadventuretime.c

  64. 64
    Jaki

    I demand before and after photos.

    … wait.

  65. 65
    Jaki

    I demand before and after photos…. wait.

  66. 66
    Joel Klinepeter

    Can't say I've ever looked at a vulva and been turned off by it not being the right shade of pink…

    I've seen a few in my 27 years (some actually in person… lol) and I've always found the variety inherent in the female sex organs to be a driving factor in my interest and curiosity towards them…

    If my face is close enough to note the shade of pink my dates vulva is I really doubt it's something I'm concerned about, at that point I'd be more focused on her having a good time… Tbh, if I were dating someone and found out she used this I think I'd break it off… It's rather disturbing…

  67. 67
    Joel Klinepeter

    Can’t say I’ve ever looked at a vulva and been turned off by it not being the right shade of pink…I’ve seen a few in my 27 years (some actually in person… lol) and I’ve always found the variety inherent in the female sex organs to be a driving factor in my interest and curiosity towards them…If my face is close enough to note the shade of pink my dates vulva is I really doubt it’s something I’m concerned about, at that point I’d be more focused on her having a good time… Tbh, if I were dating someone and found out she used this I think I’d break it off… It’s rather disturbing…

  68. 68
    jemand

    that site had better have "before and after" photos…. come to think of it, just the "before" photos would be fine.

  69. 69
    jemand

    that site had better have “before and after” photos…. come to think of it, just the “before” photos would be fine.

  70. 70
    Anonymous

    When will other DayGlo colors be available?

  71. 71
    Anonymous

    When will other DayGlo colors be available?

  72. 72
    Anonymous

    Being among the 7%-10% of men who are red-green shade blind, I have never given any thought to the "pinkness" of the labia with which I have had intimate contact. This particular product would be wasted if used for my benefit.

    Your youth is showing in another of your statements. In discussing the estimated yearly cost of using this product, you wrote, in part, "minus a week each month for a period let's say". I've had partners for whom that time of the month was no barrier to intimacy.

  73. 73
    Anonymous

    Being among the 7%-10% of men who are red-green shade blind, I have never given any thought to the “pinkness” of the labia with which I have had intimate contact. This particular product would be wasted if used for my benefit.Your youth is showing in another of your statements. In discussing the estimated yearly cost of using this product, you wrote, in part, “minus a week each month for a period let’s say”. I’ve had partners for whom that time of the month was no barrier to intimacy.

  74. 74
    Godless Girl

    Holy shitballs, my cooter can't wait to be coated in this goop! How did they know that the one regret in my life was losing my blush-hued glow down below? Pass me a can!

  75. 75
    Joel Klinepeter

    Anon makes a good point… There are a lot of guys who have no issue with that week of the month, care needs to be taken to not leave a mess but that's what showers are for right?? There is also evidence to show that sex/orgasm can relieve cramping…

  76. 76
    Joel Klinepeter

    Anon makes a good point… There are a lot of guys who have no issue with that week of the month, care needs to be taken to not leave a mess but that’s what showers are for right?? There is also evidence to show that sex/orgasm can relieve cramping…

  77. 77
    Anonymous

    Now that's lipstick. Does it work?

  78. 78
    Anonymous

    Now that’s lipstick. Does it work?

  79. 79
    lozabelle

    Do they provide some kind of colour chart so I know which is the right one to buy? How do I get my vag close enough to my computer screen to compare?

    I'm actually so deeply fascinated by this whole idea that I'm almost tempted to buy some and give you a review…

  80. 80
    lozabelle

    Do they provide some kind of colour chart so I know which is the right one to buy? How do I get my vag close enough to my computer screen to compare?I’m actually so deeply fascinated by this whole idea that I’m almost tempted to buy some and give you a review…

  81. 81
    AsKatKnits

    OMFG, I have not laughed this hard in hours!

    Now I will have visions of Day-Glo dancing in my head.

    Great blog, hilarious comments!

  82. 82
    AsKatKnits

    OMFG, I have not laughed this hard in hours!Now I will have visions of Day-Glo dancing in my head.Great blog, hilarious comments!

  83. 83
    leftfeetdancer

    what the Fffff… those girls are rolling around in their graves. People manufacturing product (or rather those that named its shades) are lucky that they will not resurect. Otherwise…

  84. 84
    leftfeetdancer

    what the Fffff… those girls are rolling around in their graves. People manufacturing product (or rather those that named its shades) are lucky that they will not resurect. Otherwise…

  85. 85
    nazani

    Could we PLEASE get female anatomy correct?The vagina, which nobody except sees except your gynecologist with a speculum, is completely within the body. The word, (Latin for sheath,) refers to the negative space and the tissues that surround it.In contrast, the vulva, of which the labia are part, is completely external.

  86. 86
    nazani

    Could we PLEASE get female anatomy correct?The vagina, which nobody except sees except your gynecologist with a speculum, is completely within the body. The word, (Latin for sheath,) refers to the negative space and the tissues that surround it.In contrast, the vulva, of which the labia are part, is completely external.

  87. 87
    bobmurray

    Err, Silly question! What does it taste like?Just curious.

  88. 88
    Anon

    @Anon, I think she was referring to the fact that the product would not need to be used for that week as it would already be getting slightly pinkish due to blood flow :P

  89. 89
    Sex Toys

    This will make the vagina more cute and nice to look at :)

  90. 90
    Anna Jobsis

    You sir, are an ass kettle.

  91. 91
    Angelswatching

    LOL, Funny I was just looking for these products to write a post in my own Blog. Is this not the craziest shit you have ever seen? Wow. If you are a older woman and it is not pink enough anymore, maybe you should retire the dam thing. If my husband were to say something about it, I would then refer to his balls and see how self assuring he is after that conversation. Thank you for posting this, and yes I will go on with mine.

  92. 92
    Doc Johnson

    Since when do people care about labia color? I think brown is just a nice as pink. Who cares?Doc Johnson|Adult Novelty|Adult Novelties|Adult Toys|FetishPersonal Lubricant|Penis Pump|Dildo|Sex Toys|BDSMBondage|Masturbator|Sex Toys|Vibrater|Vibrator

  93. 93
    Dgh

    Pink is the best color, you lick it and then eat it !!

  94. 94
    mark

    As a guy, I’ve got to wonder if the dye would transfer during sex. Can’t say I’d enjoy having pink junk. Better than catching it in the zipper though.

  95. 95
    VigaPlus

    Pink is really sexy in my opinion. The color is very inviting and always looks delicious. How about a strawberry flavored vagina? :)

  96. 96
    Sofia Escapist Veig-Birger

    I wouldn’t mind having anything vagina-related named after me. Strong exception – when it’s for such purposes as telling women to go dye their fannies because they’re naturally ugly.

  97. 97
    anonomouse

    Yes, it’s apparent that as you age and have children–the pink goes away and turns to brown “leather” –not very pretty like it once was to them. Hence why the whole younger woman thing!

  98. 98
    Goodtastelarry.

    Gotta be honest. It’s a pretty good idea. A pink vagina is something every guy fantasizes about.

  99. 99
    Lokstuhh

    ahaaa foreelz???

  100. 100
    gahwioehawio

    Is your vagina pink enough?! | Blag Hag I was suggested this website by my cousin. I’m not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my difficulty. You are incredible! Thanks! your article about Is your vagina pink enough?! | Blag HagBest Regards Justin

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