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My new favorite religion

For some reason I don’t seem to attract the kind of crank email that, say, PZ Myers gets, but now and then I stumble across a bit of good material. It happened to me this weekend: I was in the store buying vitamins, and noticed that someone had discretely slipped a copy of “Prophetic Observer” into one of the displays. (Talk about a bold witness, eh?) Published by Southwest Radio Ministries and the Southwest Radio Church of the Air, this was a full tabloid-sized four-page newsletter containing a single article: “Do Christians and Muslims Worship the Same God?” by Noah W. Hutchings. And man, it brings the crazy.

Check out this opening paragraph:

While the title of this article may be offensive to most Christians, thousands, if not millions, of church members are converting to the new religion of Chrislam. Much of the impetus behind this apostasy is that our president [note: whoever left this flier in the display rack underlined the words "our president" in red pencil] has evidently made a special effort to entertain Muslim leaders at the White House, observed Ramadan, and has been shown on national television bowing to the king of Saudi Arabia. The presedent’s many accommodations to Islam have prompted Col. Steve Bauer, special White House aide under five presidents, to conclude that “we have a Muslim [note: the word "Muslim" is also underlined in red] in the White House.”

Isn’t that awesome? In the last book of the Chronicles of Narnia series, there’s an apocalyptic, Left Behind-ish story about the minions of the evil god Tash who set up an elaborate hoax to convince the citizens of Narnia that Tash and Aslan are the same god. They even give this fraud god a unified name: “Tashlan.”

Apparently, in the minds of some folks, children’s fantasies are indistinguishable from real life, and we now have a cross between Christianity and Islam called Chrislam. And you know what? I think that’s got to be one of the most awesome neologisms ever! Who hates gays? Chrislamic fundamentalists. Who tries to subjugate women? Chrislamic fundamentalists. Who tries to subvert science and wants to teach creationism in the public schools? Chrislamic fundamentalists. The list goes on and on.

So hats off to old Noah. He may have been motivated by racism and mind-numbing gullibility, but our vocabulary is the richer for it.

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PS — For extra fun, check out http://www.nowtheendbegins.com/blog/?p=1366 for more Chrislamic deliciousness. My favorite part is the caption that says, “The sign may be Photoshop, but the message it carries is all too real. Chrislam must be stopped now. If your church teaches this heresy – run!” Translation: “we were caught lying, but it’s still true anyway.” Way to go, guys.