Andy Borowitz reveals that in an effort to duplicate New Gingrich’s success in the primaries, Mitt Romney has decided to have an affair.
“Republican voters have sent the message that they want to vote for an adulterous scumbag and I have heard them loud and clear,” he said. “I promise that I will engage in a world-class extramarital affair that will make all of us proud again.”
According to one senior advisor, the Romney campaign was already holding focus groups and conducting special polling to determine the best person with whom Mr. Romney should conduct his extracurricular dalliance.
Will this new strategy reverse Romney’s fortunes? Stay tuned!