I have written before about how the neighborhood app Nextdoor seems to be an outlet for people who like to complain and go off on tangents responding to other people’s posts.
Jay Martel writes about how people might react on the app if the Rapture signaling the End Times was to occur and the chosen were suddenly whisked up into heaven.
Does anyone know what’s going on in the Smithfield area? People flying around, hellfire, terrible traffic.
Inconsiderate driver partially blocked my driveway with his car, then flew up into the sky before I could get him to move it. Super annoying! What is wrong with people???
Anyone else experiencing a power outage? And hundred-pound hailstones?
These three suspicious men dropped out of sky in front of my house, on the 400 block of North Jones, hung out there for a bit, then ran toward my driveway blowing horns and flew off, heading toward Oakwood. They were wearing white hoodies, feathery wings, halos. Doorbell camera fortunately caught the whole thing. Be on the lookout—they may be the porch pirates who’ve been stealing our Amazon packages.
Anyone know of a reliable house cleaner? Can’t deal with flakes.
Have this ongoing dispute with my neighbor about his tree growing out of control over my fence, dropping staining seedpods all over my newly tiled patio (see photo), and he finally agreed to meet about it. But then he doesn’t show up! I go over, and his wife says he “ascended to Heaven.” Seriously? Some people will do anything to get out of their obligations! #neednewneighbors
Very suspicious man with wings seen on North Elm yelling about end of the world. Hate that mental patients are just free to harass whomever and the police can’t do anything about it.
Anyone notice the lake of fire blocking access to the park? You’d think the crazy property taxes we pay would be enough to keep a damn lake from burning!
…Irresponsible motorists floating away have left their cars in the middle of my street, causing endless traffic jams. Tried calling city to get them towed but spent twenty minutes on hold. Typical.
In my humble but infallible opinion the rapture can’t happen soon enough. I mean, I know it’s not really a thing but if it happened it would probably usher in an era of unprecidented peace.
If it’s anything like the Next Door in my area, so long as the angels are white, they can cause any amount of catastrophic damage they want. A non-white angel, OTOH, will have the police called the second they appear.
Additionally infuriating is children walking home from the school bus stop, people daring to exist in their own backyards, and birds. They really hate birds.
The scorpion-horse-locusts described by John of Patmos might make cameramen working for the Discovery institute quite interested in this new breed of cryptids, but they would soon be out-competed (and possibly eaten) by the big New York rats.
As for the fire-breathing Jews described by the abovementioned John they are nothing compared to the everyday loud manic street preachers. The tribulations will hardly be noticeable if you live in the bad parts of Detroit.