Too close to the truth to be funny

I blogged earlier about Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s account of hiding in different places during the January 6th insurrection and hearing a man shouting “Where is she? Where is she?”, making her fear for her life. That episode gave rise to this satirical piece from The Onion.

Republicans Accuse Ocasio-Cortez Of Not Being Anywhere Near Place They Told Capitol Mob She Would Be

WASHINGTON—Pointing out the inconsistency in her personal account of the Jan. 6 insurrection, republicans accused New York Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Thursday of not being anywhere near the place they told the Capitol mob she would be. “She was supposed to be in a room just off the Capitol rotunda, which is where we told the angry white nationalists she’d be hiding, but she wasn’t even there,” said South Carolina Rep. Nancy Mace, one of the many republicans condemning Ocasio-Cortez for hiding in a completely different building during the insurrection instead of where her colleagues told the violent rioters they should expect to find her. “A quick examination of the Capitol grounds map we gave the insurrectionists will prove that while they stormed the area where we drew the big ‘X’, the representative was actually in a location that was nowhere close to there. We were all upset by the events that transpired that day, but to be in a different place than the one we told those hunting her she’d be is incredibly disappointing.” At press time, republicans were calling upon Ocasio-Cortez to deliver a full apology and vow to always be open about her exact whereabouts at all times to avoid misleading her potential killers in the future.


  1. John Morales says

    In my estimation, what’s left unsaid is that had that particular mob got to her, her ensuing trauma would have likely included sexual assault. I’m sure that preyed on her mind.

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