Because I honestly never know which is which when talking to Christians.
(Thanks, as always, to Jesus and Mo.)
Mano Singham
Just another Freethought Blogs site
Because I honestly never know which is which when talking to Christians.
(Thanks, as always, to Jesus and Mo.)
Don’t forget to buy a PrayerMax 5000 electronic praying machine.
IIRC, you can also hire an Electronic Monk to do your believing for you.
It’s not hard to understand how this device works. From BioLogos:
“Discrepancies like this suggest that these passages are not to be interpreted historically or scientifically, but rather through a figurative, allegorical, and/or theological lens.”
(about Genesis 1 and 2 -- the bird thing)
So it works like this: “Contradiction! Must be virtual! We have to look for a deeper meaning! Long live theology!”
When two passages happen to confirm each other we get this: “Hurray! Isn’t the Bible perfectly consistent! Long live theology!”
This excellent principle can be easily extended. Suppose you don’t like the literal meaning. Then you just have to maintain that the passage is only a metaphor. Now in the very sad case some nasty skeptic (like me) points out that that metaphorical meaning also has some unpleasant aspects -- which happens quite often, the thing being written a long time ago -- you just say that you can’t conclude that because of the stuff that actually is good. Example:
“You can’t conclude anything concerning Jesus’ ideas of animal rights from the story about the Gardarene swines. It’s well known -- check the textual, historical and cultural context -- that it’s all about being oppressed by the Romans and the wish to get rid of them.”
Because every interpretation, being it literal or metaphorical, confirms the conclusion that
“The Bible is Divinely Inspired”
Why? Because when reading it we must do so
“Viewing the Bible as Divinely Inspired”
(BioLogos again).
If nothing helps there is always the last refuge: “but science is also based on metaphysical assumptions and intends to confirm them.”
I think you got it now.
Hottest piece of technology since the irony meter.
It reminds me of this classic cartoon:
http://www.freethunk.net/russells-teapot/metaphorical-scripture.jpg