Obama’s calmness explained

One of Barack Obama’s personality strengths is that he does not seem to get flustered and put off stride by events and attacks. He seems to respond calmly and in measured ways to events and people have wondered how he manages it.

The secret is now revealed. He has an alter ego, anger translator, as a release valve, someone who vents and says what Obama really thinks but no one else but him gets to hear it. (Language advisory.)


  1. Rodney Nelson says

    “How did you survive as a rich, white asshole in America?” I’ve wondered that about Romney as well.

  2. Psychopomp Gecko says

    That was the best part for me. Reminded me of a quote by Mr. Burns in The Simpsons Movie: “Well, for once the rich white man is in control.”

    Though something else funny about the whole Mitt Romney Latino thing, aside from him tanning it up, is that his father was born in Mexico. That is why some of the more consistent birther groups have asked to see his birth certificate as well. Not only that, but the reason his father was born there is because Romney’s great grandfather fled to Mexico to establish a Mormon colony where they could still practice polygamy.

    Amazingly, you don’t see this blaring on the news 24/7, that a man who now wants to be president comes from a family that fled the U.S. to keep practicing a wacky part of their wacky religion.

  3. Psychopomp Gecko says

    I could be wrong on the “establishing the colony” part, but he at least went to one for that reason. I should have checked before sleep twisted its fuzzy coils around my think organ.

  4. StevoR says

    That is why some of the more consistent birther groups have asked to see his birth certificate as well.

    Annnd that’s nuthin’ to do wit’ ‘im bein’ Moarmoan natch?!

    (What a choice for teh undelu-dud Tru billevers o’th’ Faar Riite eh – teh Muslim or Moarmoan hey?)

  5. Jared A says

    Well, they were residents of mexico until they were driven out violently. As an aside, another member of that colony that was driven back to the US was Henry Eyring, one of the most brilliant chemists of the 20th century. He developed the transition state theory which is a key part of modern chemistry.

    For some reason he didn’t receive the Nobel Prize for his work even though several other scientists did. Of course no one will ever know, but some wondered if he was overlooked due to bigotry on the part of the selection committee.

  6. Gretchen D says

    Finally, we get to see what the “real” Obama is thinking. Oh, how I would love to see that in “real” life.

  7. Jared A says

    I totally agree with you, people should be punished for the beliefs and practices of their parents. Ignorant bigots unite!

  8. Psychopomp Gecko says

    The Mormons do kind of make a big deal about family and Romney’s father, the man who raised him and gave him a huge head start over other people in business, including paying for college, is from a Mormon colony in Mexico founded to continue polygamy.

    Just like how they’re so big on orthodoxy that if you don’t request your name taken off the rolls, they’ll send people to very nicely harass you into coming back to the church. And if you do send it in, they let you know that that revokes all benefits of baptism, because you’re no longer even saved if you aren’t part of their church.

    Hey, maybe your more distant parts of the church are different and don’t worry so much about all that. And I know we all here don’t care if they believe in magical salvation. The problem is, they believe and they adhere to this organization’s wishes and will shun people who have left it. There’s a certain groupthink in all this, and then you add in that the group Romney comes from would rather flee the country than follow the law. Kinda like his money in regards to taxes, I suppose.

    Just like his religion (in fact, this was because of his religion, same one he practices now), this was an influence on his life.

    Hey, it’s not like having Confederate relatives ever effects anyone’s outlook on life here in the American South, does it? eh? eh? Anybody?

  9. Jared A says

    @PsychopompGecko (comment 1-1-3-1-2 (too much nesting))

    Well, I can’t say I disagree with anything you are saying. I already know all of this. I already lived through all of this. But as a response to my own comment it doesn’t really seem apropos at all. Just needlessly dickish. My original comment was meant to support your characterization of the mormon settlements in Mexico as colonies. They certainly were colonies founded to continue polygamy. A short summary supporting that can be found here:


    I only mentioned Henry Eyring as an aside to say “Well, the whole colony thing was pretty weird, but it was a huge group of people, and plenty of decent people came from that heritage, too. Henry Eyring was by all accounts a good man and an excellent scientist. The fact that he lived in a weird colony for the first 9 years of his life shouldn’t be used as a count against him. It’s a shame that apparently some people have.”

    JWS1’s response to that WAS ignorant and bigoted, no doubt about it. I will give the benefit of the doubt that it came from not thinking before typing, but it still should be called out. Even if I don’t approve of mormonism in general.

    As for your response to me calling him out; what’s your point? The only reason I can think you would type this long lecture about how much moromonism sucks is if you are assuming I am defending it. You have no basis for that, and honestly that’s a shitty thing to do. To put it in context, I have already lived through all these “insightful” little details you are throwing at me. I am lucky to have gotten out of Mormonism relatively easy, but people I love have sacrificed quite a bit in the process. If I were to take your lecture seriously in context I would surmise that because I was born to a mormon family then somehow everything I do must be examined in context of how my ancestors acted.

    Now, don’t get me wrong, I think that history does matter, and we understand ourselves best when we understand the nature of the culture we come from. I think it is important to talk about the mormon obsession with group and family. It has good sides and bad sides. But gods are you just being a dick about it.


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