The paternal view of childbirth is that you watch the mother struggle for hours, the child finally emerges, the midwife cleans him* up, hands him to you, and that’s when he unloads a bladder full of pee on you. This photo of a newly hatched bobtail squid’s first reflex reminds me of that…

Euprymna tasmanica juvenile releasing ink on hatching.
Figure from Cephalopods: A World Guide (amzn/b&n/abe/pwll), by Mark Norman.
*Boys are the most obvious culprits, since when they cut loose they hose down your shirt; girls discreetly dampen their blankies.