What am I doing today?

Brain melting. Remember that call for applicants for a tenure track job? We’re screening all those applicants now, and meeting tomorrow to consider who to invite to the first round of preliminary phone interviews. If you haven’t got your application in, you’re late! You’re going to hope everyone else sucks badly if you’re still trying to get something filed here.

All it means to me right now though is more squinty staring at lots and lots of essays and CVs and recommendations. I may be entering a data coma soon.

Sunday afternoon…there’s nothing on TV, anyway

Tomorrow (Sunday), from 2-4pm Central time, I’ll be on the League of Reason show. I’m not sure exactly how this is going to work; I’m calling in via skype, the link above takes you to a chat page so you can razz me as I’m talking (I expect all the other panel members will be addressed respectfully, while you guys will be calling me “poopyhead”. Seriously, I can’t take you anywhere.)

It should be fun anyway.

When will I ever learn?

I’m in London, and I got ambushed by this guy making videos. He bought me beer, what can I say? Anyway, he said he wanted to ask me serious questions about biology, and when he got me on camera he instead asked me all this weird stuff about constellations and telescopes and has me looking like a stammering moron. He’ll probably put it online soon, and then I’ll be in trouble.

He goes by the name Andromeda’s Wake. At least it was really good beer.

My humiliation and profound ignorance made public:

The Amazing Meeting: London

Do you expect a full report? TAM London is over, I have no sense of time left, I just got back from a late and very entertaining dinner with the ferocious Rebecca Watson and the fabulous Richard Wiseman, and I think I need to pass out.

It looks like you can get a video feed of the various talks at the live feed — they’re playing back the recorded events right now. You can read the #TAMLondon hashtag to get an idea of the audience reaction, and Martin Robbins has liveblogged the whole weekend. Or if you’d rather, you can read few short sound bites.

My talk went fine, I think, although it’s hard for the speaker to get a good impression. I did let everyone know my excuse ahead of time: Tim Minchin sang The Pope Song the night before, completely stealing the entire text of my planned talk, so I had to rewrite it at the last moment. By the way, the live song was fantastic, far better than the youtube recording — he had a hard, angry tone to the whole song that made it even more biting.

TAM is always a fun meeting. You should have gone!

Finally, someone tells the truth about me

One more “he’s such a teddy bear” and I am going to set my beard on fire and howl. I met the similarly ferocious AJ Milne in Montreal, and he has written the first honest account of my appearance.

I assure you, the man was terrifying. Came into the place on this huge Harley belching clouds of black smoke smelling distinctly of brimstone, its engine thundering in that deep, subsonic register only the truly badass bikes of that brand get right. All while swigging from a bottle of Jack Daniels, which he threw into the audience before mounting the stage.

Little known fact: the reason I had that little episode in the hospital earlier wasn’t because I’m fragile and weak. It’s because I was getting my heart reinforced and armor-plated.

And don’t worry, the bottle was empty before I threw it at the audience.

Meanwhile, Larry is baffled by my popularity. It’s not popularity, it’s notoriety and infamy.

When I was much younger…

The local newspaper would print out the names of all of the kids who made it onto the school honor roll, and my grandma would pinch my cheek and tell me what a good boy I was for studying hard. I do wonder how she would respond to making it onto the Playboy Honor Roll.

I think she’d say “Nehmen!” and wag her finger at me and tell me I’ll be getting no krumkake that day.