Since my opposition is dragging in loads of riff-raff to try and raise money for Camp Quest, I’ve decided to bring in some firepower of my own. The beard is willing to make the great sacrifice if Team PZ wins this competition at the end of this month. Even better, at the request of my daughter Skatje, I will recreate the look of 1980s PZ:

In fact, since Skatje and I will both be at Convergence at the end of June, I will coerce her into helping me re-enact this very photo, and will post it to the web. It can’t be a perfect replica — I’ve grown a little wider, and she’s gotten a wee bit taller — but that’ll be part of the challenge. Also, she usually wears black, not pink, and I don’t think there’s any way I’d ever be able to talk her into a frilly pink dress, but at least she’s now got lots of pink inked onto her shoulder.

So donate. I expect the beard to destroy the competition (I think they are completely lacking in manly facial hair. How can you bear to support them?)

Tomorrow, I’ll be in Kamloops, British Columbia. The godless have been rampaging across that province, what with this evil conference where atheists will be actually encouraged to speak, and a bus campaign in Kelowna and Kamloops and Victoria, where innocent eyes will be assaulted with vile atheist propaganda, with slogans like “There’s probably no god. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life”. Then, of course, I’ll be descending from the skies like a wrathful angel, striding across the landscape with my eyes afire, crushing the pious with my righteous fury, while occasionally being mistaken for a cuddly waddling teddy bear, which will piss me off even more.

The faithful are not sitting back and allowing themselves to be brutalized by our ghastly, horrible, vicious invasion. The transit company has been fighting hard to prevent wicked atheists from giving them money — they had to be taken to court to force them to not discriminate, and even then, they stood prepared to drop the ads as soon as someone squeaked.

Trottier said he took exception to statements by BC Transit spokeswoman Joanna Lingsangan that if ads in the Okanagan are vandalized or result in harassment against bus drivers, they will be removed.

“She’s basically gone and told any fanatic what they can do to bully the government into taking our ads down,” he said.

“I thought it was shameful. The government should protect our Charter rights and not side with a nut who vandalizes our ads, which, by the way, we pay for like any other advertisers.”

It’s just charmingly brilliant: they get to pocket atheist’s money, and as soon as some good upstanding Christian whines at a bus driver or throws an egg at the sign, they get to rip the signs down. It’s such a Christian attitude.

Well, they’ve gone even further. One night, while locked in a guarded area, the buses in Kelowna were “professionally” stripped of their godless signage. No one has been caught. The advertising company is shrugging and saying it’s too bad — but the atheists have to replace the ads at their own expense.

The best explanation for this mystery is that the bus ads were raptured. How else to explain their mysterious disappearance, and the way the transit company has suddenly gone all cow-eyed and stupid?

Now I’m really angry, and I’m determined to wreak my vengeance on Kamloops when I arrive, just to teach them a lesson. I think I’ll do something ferocious, like stand in an auditorium and talk. That’ll learn the cowardly bastids.