I find it very disturbing that some artist managed to penetrate the layers of security and multiple deadly traps to produce illustrations of my inner sanctum. The alert level has been increased and security enhanced, so other interlopers should beware. Further breaches will not be tolerated.
Since I just received my very own copy of The Digital Cuttlefish Omnibus, I had to include a picture of a cuttlefish this week, even if this one doesn’t have a book of poetry.
You can order your own copy, too. Keep it by the bedside for amorous readings, or something.
I saw the Baby Jesus Butt Plug, and I just laughed. But now, someone has made a cephalopod butt plug and matching ball gag, and my laughter fades to a nervous tittering while my eyes dart about confusedly. Should I be outraged? Aroused? Amused? Disturbed? All of the above? A boundary has been transgressed!
Fortunately, I’m old and greying, and can always fall back on the ignorant old coot routine. “Eh, sonny? What’s that? That’s a mighty big fishing lure you’re waving around there.”
My wife will be relieved when I tell her I don’t think I’ll make chocolate covered squid for her. It’s not that I’d be unwilling to try such a concoction, but 1) I have doubts that that combination of flavors is particularly copacetic, 2) she isn’t a big fan of seafood in the first place, and a gift should be to her taste, not mine, and 3) where the heck would I get squid on short notice in Morris, Minnesota?
It will soon be Valentine’s Day, and it’s not just the bipedal mammals that turn to amorous thoughts. TONMO has a fabulous series of photos of courting and mating Abdopus aculeatus — here’s one small sample.
Your mission for Valentine’s Day is to get together with your partner and do your best to recreate the poses in the series. You will fail, but it will be fun trying.
