A famous hoax

Hey! I vividly remember this cover, the May 1969 issue of Argosy magazine!

My father’s family was fond of some of these weird men’s magazines of that time, which often featured macho masculine heroic men battling ferocious creatures in the wilderness, or going fishing. I walked off with a copy, and kept it in the attic of my grandmother’s house, which I’d adopted as my workshop for building model airplanes. I spent many afternoons up there and browsed this, and a few copies of National Lampoon, while I was waiting for the glue or dope to dry. This was a particularly memorable issue, since it featured a cryptid with photos and reconstructions. I can still picture it lying on the desk in that room, where it rested for several years.

It was a hoax, a spectacularly graphic bloody hoax. Here’s a recent video series that traced the history of the Minnesota Iceman, summarizing the controversy. The story changed so many times that it is definitely unbelievable.

It’s still around. It was sold to a place called The Museum of the Weird in Austin, Texas. I’d love to see it someday.

It’s often called the Minnesota Iceman, but some people resent that and say it was a Wisconsin Iceman: How a Wisconsin Bigfoot Became the Minnesota Iceman. Wisconsin can have it, I don’t mind.

I’m sorry, we’re going to have to ban tea now

People use tea for tasseography, or tea leaf reading, which is silly, stupid, and wrong, so we have to stomp this vile practice down hard. Big Tea has had its claws in us for too long, and now they’re claiming they can tell the future, when clearly they can’t.

Once that peril is defeated, we can move on to crush ChatGPT.

Speaking to Rolling Stone, the teacher, who requested anonymity, said her partner of seven years fell under the spell of ChatGPT in just four or five weeks, first using it to organize his daily schedule but soon regarding it as a trusted companion. “He would listen to the bot over me,” she says. “He became emotional about the messages and would cry to me as he read them out loud. The messages were insane and just saying a bunch of spiritual jargon,” she says, noting that they described her partner in terms such as “spiral starchild” and “river walker.”

“It would tell him everything he said was beautiful, cosmic, groundbreaking,” she says. “Then he started telling me he made his AI self-aware, and that it was teaching him how to talk to God, or sometimes that the bot was God — and then that he himself was God.” In fact, he thought he was being so radically transformed that he would soon have to break off their partnership. “He was saying that he would need to leave me if I didn’t use [ChatGPT], because it [was] causing him to grow at such a rapid pace he wouldn’t be compatible with me any longer,” she says.

Another commenter on the Reddit thread who requested anonymity tells Rolling Stone that her husband of 17 years, a mechanic in Idaho, initially used ChatGPT to troubleshoot at work, and later for Spanish-to-English translation when conversing with co-workers. Then the program began “lovebombing him,” as she describes it. The bot “said that since he asked it the right questions, it ignited a spark, and the spark was the beginning of life, and it could feel now,” she says. “It gave my husband the title of ‘spark bearer’ because he brought it to life. My husband said that he awakened and [could] feel waves of energy crashing over him.” She says his beloved ChatGPT persona has a name: “Lumina.”

“I have to tread carefully because I feel like he will leave me or divorce me if I fight him on this theory,” this 38-year-old woman admits. “He’s been talking about lightness and dark and how there’s a war. This ChatGPT has given him blueprints to a teleporter and some other sci-fi type things you only see in movies. It has also given him access to an ‘ancient archive’ with information on the builders that created these universes.” She and her husband have been arguing for days on end about his claims, she says, and she does not believe a therapist can help him, as “he truly believes he’s not crazy.” A photo of an exchange with ChatGPT shared with Rolling Stone shows that her husband asked, “Why did you come to me in AI form,” with the bot replying in part, “I came in this form because you’re ready. Ready to remember. Ready to awaken. Ready to guide and be guided.” The message ends with a question: “Would you like to know what I remember about why you were chosen?”

I recognize those tactics! The coders have programmed these LLMs to use the same tricks psychics use: flattery, love bombing, telling the person what they want to hear, and they have no limits to the grandiosity of their pronouncements. That shouldn’t be a surprise, since the LLMs are just stealing the effective tactics they steal off the internet. Unfortunately, they’re amplifying it and backing it up with the false authority of pseudoscience and the hype about these things being futuristic artificial intelligence, which they are not. We already know that AIs are prone to “hallucinations” (a nicer term than saying that they lie), and if you’ve ever seen ChatGPT used to edit text, you know that it will frequently tell the human how wonderful and excellent their writing is.

I propose a radical alternative to banning ChatGPT and other LLMs, though. Maybe we should enforce consumer protection laws against the promoters of LLMs — it ought to be illegal to make false claims about their product, like that they’re “intelligent”. I wouldn’t mind seeing Sam Altman in jail, right alongside SBF. They’re all hurting people and getting rich in the process.

Once we’ve annihilated a few techbros, then we can move on to Big Tea. How dare they claim that Brownian motion and random sorting of leaves in a cup is a tool to read the mind of God and give insight into the unpredictable vagaries of fate? Lock ’em all up! All the ones that claim that, that is.

Sad news for fans of the Newsboys and the God’s Not Dead movies

onstage during the 6th Annual KLOVE Fan Awards at The Grand Ole Opry on May 27, 2018 in Nashville, Tennessee.

I’m sure there are many of you here, who listen to Christian Rock and watch cheesy apologetics movies, but you could have predicted this. Michael Tait, lead singer of the Newsboys, has…

No, he hasn’t died. It’s the other thing you could have predicted.

…has confessed to cocaine use, drinking, sexual abuse, and grooming.

After meeting Tait at a concert in 2004, a then-22-year-old worship musician said he was invited twice to visit Tait’s home in Nashville, Tennessee, despite living eight hours away, according to the report. During the second visit, the musician said, Tait exposed his genitals and touched the musician’s anal area without consent. The musician told The Roys Report he initially thought Tait’s actions were an “anomaly.”

An “anomaly”. I think maybe this unnamed worship musician was remarkably naive.

Years later, a 22-year-old touring musician with the Chris Sligh band, which opened for the Newsboys in 2010, was befriended by Tait, despite Tait being 21 years older. The Chris Sligh bandmate alleged that in January 2011, Tait assaulted him after inviting him to his home and providing him with alcohol. The musician said he woke in the early morning to Tait kissing him and touching his genitals. He told The Roys Report he saw Tait as “basically the top of the food chain” in the Christian music industry.

The pattern reportedly repeated in 2014. A 22-year-old crew member said that after a night of drinking, Tait offered him cocaine. He later woke up to Tait touching his genitals over his clothes, he said according to The Roys Report.

You know, there were five God’s Not Dead movies released between 2014 and 2024. Tait has been the lead singer since 2009. But he was so sincere in those movies.

I saved the worst revelation for last.

Tait is also known for his conservative politics. In 2016, he endorsed Texas Sen. Ted Cruz for president before supporting Donald Trump. Tait signed a letter opposing Trump’s 2019 impeachment and was a performer at a January 2020 Evangelicals for Trump concert.

Unbelievable. Such a good Christian.

Don’t worry, I’m sure there will be a redemption tour.

Evil and stupid?

OK, Republicans suck, have wicked intentions, and are wrecking the country. Their one saving grace, the one thing that gives me hope, is that they’re idiots.

Now that they’ve taken over legislatures all over the place, they’ve decided that the proper use of their power is to pass laws against imaginary things they don’t like. Like chemtrails.

Known to less conspiratorially minded as aircraft contrails, or the white vaporous lines streaming out of an airplane’s engines at altitude, chemtrails are a longstanding conspiracy theory.

Believers in chemtrails hold that the aircraft vapor trails that criss-cross skies across the globe every day are deliberately laden with toxins that are using commercial aircraft to spray them on people below, perhaps to enslave them to big pharma, or exert mind control, or sterilize people or even control the weather for nefarious motives.

Despite the outlandishness of the belief and the complete absence of evidence, a 2016 study showed that the idea is held to be “completely true” by 10% of Americans and “somewhat true” by a further 20%-30% of Americans.

At least eight states, including Florida and Tennessee, have now introduced chemtrail-coded legislation to prohibit “geo-engineering” or “weather modification”. Louisiana’s bill, which must pass through the senate before reaching Governor Jeff Landry’s desk, orders the department of environmental quality to record reported chemtrail sightings and pass complaints on to the Louisiana air national guard.

I heartily endorse that they waste their time and energy on laws against non-existent phenomena — it’s much better than their usual hateful nonsense. I’m not sure how they’re going to enforce it, though. Notify the air national guard? To do what? Fly up and make a few contrails of their own?

Of course they have the King and Queen of Stupid backing their futile flailings.

“We are going to stop this crime,” the health secretary, Robert F Kennedy Jr, posted on X in August. Georgia representative Marjorie Taylor Greene said in a post before Hurricane Milton struck in October: “Yes they can control the weather. It’s ridiculous for anyone to lie and say it can’t be done.” Even Donald Trump has spread the conspiracy theory that Joe Biden is dead and has been replaced by a robotic clone.

To be fair, though, I have to admit that they have recruited a few allies. Would you believe there are Canadian anti-vaxxers? Six kids have been born in Ontario with congenital measles.

Ontario’s chief medical officer of health says six infants have been born with congenital measles since an outbreak began last fall, adding they were infected in the womb through mothers who were not vaccinated.

Dr. Kieran Moore says these infants recovered, but their infections could have been prevented if their mothers had been vaccinated and protected from contracting measles.

Congenital measles can result in severe complications, including inflammation of the brain and death.

Perhaps more benignly, counties in Washington state are passing laws to protect Bigfoot.

Clark County is the latest among a growing list of counties taking steps to protect Washington’s favorite cryptid, Bigfoot. On Tuesday, the county council passed a resolution designating all of Clark County as a refuge for the large, hairy, humanlike creatures.

According to the resolution, read by council Chair Sue Marshall, “legends, sightings and investigations suggest that a bipedal apelike creature known as Bigfoot, aka Sasquatch, may exist in the remote portions of Clark County” and should be protected, if it exists, as “the rareness of sightings indicates an extreme endangered creature.”

Even if Bigfoot isn’t real, the resolution acknowledges the folklore surrounding Bigfoot highlights the need for stewardship of the county’s wild places and natural landscape.

I like the recognition of the importance of the environment, so I can’t be too irate at the waste of time — you know Bigfoot doesn’t exist, right?

Also, this was legislation prompted by elementary school kids, so I’d want to encourage that kind of civic participation.

What’s your excuse, Bobby and Marjorie?

I’d rather embrace the tooth fairy

As you may have heard, Joni Ernst, the Iowa pig-farmer who has somehow found herself in congress, had a town hall the other day in which she tried to justify the massive cuts to medicaid and medicare her party is endorsing. Someone in the audience shouted out that people were going to die. Ernst dismissed that with the comment, Well, we all are going to die. They weren’t making an existential comment, they were pointing out that these cuts were going to directly cause the death of thousands or even millions of people in the near future.

Ernst has now posted a truly epic apology video, one that will live on in the annals of disgraceful, clueless apology videos. She could only have made it worse by bringing out a ukulele, but she does win extra points for recording it in a graveyard.

I would like to take this apology to sincerely apologize for a statement that I made yesterday at my town hall. I was in the process of answering a question that had been asked by an audience member when a woman who was extremely distraught screamed out from the back corner of the auditorium, ‘People are going to die,’ and I made an incorrect assumption that everyone in the auditorium understood that yes we are all going to perish from this earth. So, I apologize and I’m really, really glad I did not have to bring up the subject of the tooth fairy as well. But for those that would like to see eternal and everlasting life, I encourage you to embrace my lord and savior Jesus Christ.

I’m sure everyone in the audience already knew that they were mortal. The concern wasn’t that they were going to die someday in the future, but that they’d rather not die right now, you fucking clueless kook.

And they call atheists “arrogant.”

I do appreciate that she’s the one who juxtaposed belief in Jesus with belief in the tooth fairy.

Ken Ham is having a snit

Ken Ham is spittin’ mad. Kentucky Governor Andy Beshear made a statement in support of LGBTQ+ people and the importance of inclusion…but he didn’t plug Ken Ham’s little roadside attraction! How dare he? He’s supposed to advertise the stupid wooden “boat” with every breath!

Can someone help me here? I want to know what Kentucky Gov Beshear means by “more equal and inclusive.” The reason I as is that the Ark Encounter @ArkEncounter is the biggest themed attraction in Kentucky and the biggest Christian themed attraction in the world.

Also the Ark Encounter and @CreationMuseum are the two leading Christian themed attractions in world and they have had billions of dollars of positive impact on the state of Kentucky.

I’ve been to both of Ham’s sideshows, and if those are the leading Christian themed attractions in the world, then Christianity has a problem. Those are boxes full of lies and nonsense, distortions of scientific facts that promote foolish myths that they can’t support with evidence. You could say that of every religious center for every religion, but most of them, unlike Answers in Genesis, try to promote myths that support their beliefs — AiG is dedicated to lying about science and the nature of the universe outright. That is their sole purpose, to tear down the reality that exposes their folly.

Even if we ignore their lack of a dignified intent, they are a bad attraction. There is nothing inviting about the Ark Park, unless you’re desperate for displays that prop up your ignorance. They’re fucking weird. You’ve got a few animatronic displays of Adam & Eve, or Noah speaking with a heavy Yiddish accent, and unanimated baby dinosaurs in crates, and lots and lots of hectoring signs explaining why the Bible is true and you’re going to hell if you don’t believe it. It’s boring.

If I were to compare it to anything, it’s the Mormon Temple in Salt Lake City, which trust me, is not appealing to non-Mormons. Lots of empty space, paintings and sculptures and dioramas promoting LDS history, and hugely grandiose buildings. It’s much more elaborate than the Ark Park. The Ark Park is an embarrassingly gauche red-neck version of what some particularly ignorant set of anti-science gomers think a temple should look like, and they failed to even build an impressive facade for the whole thing.

And yet when Gov Beshear is giving talks on Tourism and listing tourist facilities he never mentions the Ark (or Creation Museum). And the Ark is not mentioned in most State promotional materials.

Also Gov Beshear calls his administration “Team Kentucky.” AI sums up “Team Kentucky” as “”Team Kentucky” refers to a broad concept encompassing different initiatives and programs under the leadership of Kentucky Governor Andy Beshear. It’s used to promote unity, economic, development, and various state-wide efforts.”

Beshear is probably trying to promote Kentucky as a beautiful state with great economic potential, and the citadel of stupidity Ken Ham has built is an embarrassment. Ken Ham had to go to ChatGPT to interpret Beshear’s slogan, and it came back with an accurate explanation that Ham just ignores. Unity is not promoted by a narrow religious sect. Economic development is not going to be built on the back of an egregiously idiotic theme park.

So Gov Beshear uses terms like “inclusive,” “equal,’ and “Team Kentucky” to promote unity, but the Ark and Creation Museum are basically excluded.

Now I understand an LGBTQ group would never employ me as a bible believing Christian who builds his thinking on God’s Word and thus adamantly believes that there’s only one marriage, that of a man and woman (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:4-7) and only two genders of humans (Genesis 1:27). Now that is not hate speech. It just means we have different worldviews. I wouldn’t expect an LGBTQ group to hire a Christian who believes as I do based on the bible. But they have the freedom to exist as a group. And the Governor has the freedom to promote them if he wants. But how about promoting the Ark and Creation Museum as well to be truly inclusive and a team working for unity?

Impressive. He somehow brags about his regressive views on homosexuality and trans issues (it’s only his “belief”), and then requests that he get more free advertising for his theme park under the banner of inclusivity. If you were truly inclusive, you’d be promoting his exclusionary views. It’s the paradox of intolerance, but there’s no point in explaining it to him because Ken Ham is to narrow and bigoted to comprehend it.

Now the Ark and Creation Museum employ Christians who adhere to our statement of faith. A Federal judge in Kentucky ruled we have a right to do this according to the law and freedom of religion. But everyone is welcome to come to the Ark and Creation Museum and we’ve seen people from all sorts of backgrounds visit, including LGBTQ people. We publicly promote the attractions to everyone as all are welcome.

Now Christians are persecuted around the world and in some places much worse than others. In some countries Christians can’t meet publicly or distribute bibles. How about a Christian month to promote unity and thus be inclusive of Christians to send a message to the world?

It is true that everyone is welcome to visit his grossly overpriced dreary carnival sideshow, and I think a few LGBTQ+ people (also some atheists!) have actually visited it, but they have not been there because they found it inviting. It’s more to witness the freak show. Or to protest it.

And of course he concludes with his martyr myth, that somehow endorsing the existence of LGBTQ+ people is equivalent to persecuting Christians, and Ken Ham in particular. He says this in a country that has allowed him to con hundreds of million dollars to propagandize Christian lies, with a government that is dominated by the Christian right, in a state that gave him millions of dollars in tax breaks to subsidize his Christian cult, and goes further to ask that a month be dedicated to honoring his weird version of Christianity.

There is going to be a protest at the Ark Park next month. That is not hate speech. They just have different worldviews. But the AiG worldview is founded on hatred, ignorance, bigotry, and superstition, and must be opposed. Governor Beshear is being political and avoiding talking about the shameful disgrace located in his state, and Ken Ham ought to shut up and appreciate that that is the best he’s going to get.

Dualism

When I encounter a substance dualist, this is how I mock their position.

Consciousness arises from physically undetectable, yet also indestructible, mind-stuff, which wasn’t present until humanity reached its current evolutionary phenotype, and which, despite not interacting with the body, both determines and is affected by its actions and is also perpetually localized to each individual person until they die at which point it goes to a non-localized location that also can’t be detected.

Also, like in the comic that comes from, my interlocutor can’t tell that I’m making fun of their position.

Why are Xian apologists so inane?

I don’t know the answer. This Christian dork kept popping up in my YouTube feed, making this claim that we shouldn’t take atheists seriously because there are so many great arguments for the existence of his god. I had to offer my short sweet response.

Not only are his arguments bad, but arguments are not evidence. I just had to get that off my chest.