Rabbits in Colorado are being found with these horrifying growths on their bodies.
The scientists have an explanation: the rabbits are infected with a papilloma virus.
The cottontails recently spotted in Fort Collins are infected with the mostly harmless Shope papillomavirus, which causes wart-like growths that protrude from their faces like metastasizing horns.
Viral photos have inspired a fluffle of unflattering nicknames, including “Frankenstein bunnies,” “demon rabbits” and “zombie rabbits.” But their affliction is nothing new, with the virus inspiring ancient folklore and fueling scientific research nearly 100 years ago.
Yeah, right. It’s a coverup. The truth is that the rabbits were nosing around in a blasted heath, and…
They had uncovered what seemed to be the side of a large coloured globule imbedded in the substance. The colour, which resembled some of the bands in the meteor’s strange spectrum, was almost impossible to describe; and it was only by analogy that they called it colour at all. Its texture was glossy, and upon tapping it appeared to promise both brittleness and hollowness. One of the professors gave it a smart blow with a hammer, and it burst with a nervous little pop. Nothing was emitted, and all trace of the thing vanished with the puncturing. It left behind a hollow spherical space about three inches across, and all thought it probable that others would be discovered as the enclosing substance wasted away.
Run away!
This is an occasion to remind people that there are papilloma viruses that infect humans, which also cause warts that can become cancerous. It’s generally sexually transmitted, so they appear in places you really don’t want them — in fact it is the cause of cervical cancer. Fortunately, there’s a vaccine that’s effective against most strains. Believe it or not, many parents refuse to let their kids receive it because that implies the kids might become sexually active, and of course that’s impossible and hurts Jesus. Anyway, make sure your own kids are protected.
One of my favorites! As it happens, I have a scrumptious manga version of it waiting to be read.
(The author is Gou Tanabe, who has quite a lot of excellent HPL adaptations under his belt).
The tendency of these growths to sometimes resemble antlers or horns is likely the inspiration for wolpertingers and jackalopes.
Is it time to reach for the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch?
@lasius:
Or the Al-Mi’raj in Arabic folklore.
Horned hares or rabbits show up in a lot of otherwise unconnected traditional stories… so it seems likely that this particular infection has been around for centuries.
My first thought was transmissible facial tumor.
@john watts
sure. time for it! but only count to three. five is right out.
Lupine horror.
I wonder if those rabbits feel.. horny..
(Sorry couldn’t resist. Seriously wonder what they make of it?)
@StovoR:
The wolves are probably concerned with whether or not this is too diseased to eat, true…
(Lupine = wolves, Lapine = rabbits.)
(And of course I made a typo in the name on a typo-comment post, and noticed it half a second after having clicked ‘Post’ but before the post completed…)
Rabbits and hares: Leporine.