Oh boy. Today’s the day.
Today is colonoscopy prep day. I’m going to dope myself up with a laxative this morning, and this afternoon I start guzzling another laxative and large quantities of fluids. Also, no solid food. It’s going to be a long, long day.
Then tomorrow I’m scheduled to be rendered unconscious and wheeled into a room where I’m going to get pegged with a camera.
I don’t know whether I’m going to be furiously cranky or exasperatedly fatigued.
I can’t unsee. I CAN’T UNSEE!!!!!!
fyi petroleum jelly helps prevent chapping as the action starts up.
I had my first one a couple of yrs. ago. Propofol. A miracle drug. YMMV, but I was out like a light, no side effects, & I was wide awake & ready to leave virtually as soon as I came to. Nonetheless, the nurse wanted to be absolutely sure I was alright, & went outside w/ me & waited until my ride arrived.
Good luck!
hope everything comes out all right in the end!
Non-propofol experience:
The best part is when you wake up from being unconscious. The usual protocol is “get sick as a dog”.
There is an alternative blood based test which has just been approved by the FDA.
Needless to say, in terms of ease of use, it is far less traumatic than the colonoscopic procedure.
The drawback is that it isn’t as sensitive, at 83%.
It is also expensive at $895 but now will be covered by Medicare.
For the 40% of the population that won’t get a colonoscopy, it is a good deal.
Ugh. Went through one of those, recently. Hang in there, man.
You have my deepest felt sympathies. I’m a twofer veteran at this point, and slated for another in about two-and-half years. Something to look forward to and keep me going in my dotage. (Actually, the last one was not as onerous as the first. Maybe I’m getting used to it but I think it was the different laxative.
moxie @ #4 — “hope everything comes out all right in the end!” It will…inevitably.
raven @ #6 — I saw a report about that screening test. I wonder if it will be recommended for anyone who has had pre-cancerous polyps removed during a previous torture…I mean colonoscopy.
@raven #6:
Some years ago, when I was a pharma cancer researcher (not lab stuff, but applied stats & guiding biologists in experiment design), I was asked to evaluate an opportunity to buy a company which had a similar test for colon cancer, alternative to colonoscopy.
I recommended we take a pass on it. Reasons:
(1) It’s way less sensitive than the gold-standard colonoscopy, maybe 80%-ish PPV (that’s positive predictive value, i.e., Bayes probability Pr(cancer | positive test).
(2) If it comes up positive, you’re getting a colonoscopy follow-up anyway. So it’s more preface to rather than replacement for colonoscopy. Might cut down on the total number of colonoscopies if we did it uniformly, but the test was likely to have spotty usage anyway.
(3) FDA approval was probable, but it looked like a long road. Medicare approval seemed doubtful. (No idea why, but that’s what the regulatory wizards said when I consulted them. Regulatory wizards, even those internal to the organization, are like ancient Greek oracles, best consulted cautiously. There’s risk to your sanity, as you may hear hair-curling stories. Also, what they say becomes legally discoverable and lawyers will attempt to inflict pain over everything you ask them.)
(4) The only niche was for better patient compliance, i.e., patients who just won’t take a colonoscopy. For that, it seemed some education by PCPs was the right thing. (Not that most insurance will allow a PCP to spend enough time to do that. But I just couldn’t see pushing a test for approval only to replace patient education because of refractory insurance.)
So… I guess I’m glad it’s approved? But it’s for a very narrow subpopulation, mostly dictated by insurers squeezing PCP time to the point where they can’t educate their patients.
My first colonoscopy was pretty boring compared to my first gastroscopy about a month earlier with the same doctor—which had been quite remarkable.
I had never been anaesthetised before, so I was curious.
They said they would inject me with something, told me to breathe deeply, and wheeled me into the recovery room where I was … Wait, what? It had all happened so fast I wasn’t able to process it — and then had a massive laughing fit right there.
I could hardly keep quiet … Twenty minutes later, I walked into the waiting room, elated, whistling and smiling, where a whole row of elderly gentlemen looked at me in disbelief …
I guess I was expecting the same thing at my colonoscopy, but unfortunately it didn’t happen again.
Oof. I empathize. The prep ain’t fun. Not at all.
Don’t wipe. Dab.
The colonoscopy prep day, one to remember, or better yet, forget.
As a medical professional for over 40 years, I highly recommend the colonoscopy over the other methods for detecting colon cancer. It is the gold standard. There are no false negatives or positives. Also, there are others issues a colonoscopy can find that are missed by the other tests. The Diprivan (Profolol) is wonderful stuff.
@interskeptor #10 that was pretty much my experience for both colonoscopies so far. In, breathe, blink, hey, this is a different room! Then get the preliminary report, get dressed, and go get some food!
Had the UK-NHS version a few years ago (the free poo test said a definite “maybe”, so I was booked in). But here’s the thing, in Scotland you stay awake for the whole shebang. https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/colonoscopy/
Had no idea was different elsewhere.
Don’t eat solid food for a day or two, drink some obnoxious liquid, receive enough anesthesia that they insist you not travel home by yourself (although I didn’t feel the least bit incapacitated once the anesthesia wore off). Really pretty mild annoyances, certainly better than late-stage cancer treatment or a Trump presidency.
Talk about a procedure that gives you the shits.
Sorry to hear this (it ain’t nice or fun) and hope it goes as well & as smoothly as possible PZ.
The preparation is always much more distressing than the actual procedure.
Just like election season. At least you’re getting anesthesia for the colonoscopy.
It’s always been a bit disconcerting doing the 99..98…9…hey where the hell did the last two hours go?
Dear PZ, the laxatives will help. This, too, shall pass.
@1: I’ve said that I was losing my anal virginity but I’m weird.
Prep kinda sucked-GaviLyte G tastes awful-and not eating wasn’t fun, but the IV insertion was the worst for me. My veins roll, so good luck getting one to cooperate. It doesn’t help that I can’t stand needles.
You’re lucky your prep is only one day. Mine was far longer and then was wasted: https://gasstationwithoutpumps.wordpress.com/2024/05/28/colonoscopy-prep-2024/
Yeah, I’m overdue for my next colonoscopy. Last couple of years, I’ve had a hernia operation, knee replacement and prostate biopsy (with positive diagnosis, but the best kind; slow-growing, early stages), so not looking forward to more prep/poke. Still, it will be the easiest of the lot.
Growing old sucks. Funnily, despite all the medical stuff (and my increased smoking and drinking because reasons), I’m having the best workouts I’ve had in years. The body is a weird and wonderful thing.
When I had my funky kidney out, I had to drink a whole bottle of magnesium citrate to clean out my system. Not a good time.
How it’s going: 3/4 through the drinking. Starving. So I have to drink more liquids. Bleh.
I just want to get through this night.
Fatigued is what you will be.
Yes, the fluids are revolting.
It will, one day, be over…..
raven@6:
Eh? What exactly do they mean by “opens new tab for use by laboratories”? Some laboratory-slang I’m unfamiliar with?
I had my colonoscopy while fully conscious. Nurse said she didn’t push any sedation or painkiller in the end because I didn’t need it. TBH I was fascinated with personally seeing the inside of my colon live. It was uncomfortable but a very tolerable experience. The antics of the day before are far, far worse than having a camera probe snake its way around inside you.
I am getting a colonoscopy & esophagogastroduodenoscopy (esophagus, stomach, and duodenum) this August. No anesthesia. Colonoscopes aren’t that bad; take it like a man! An esophagogastroduodenoscopy is a bit uncomfortable, but beats being groggy for 36 hours. The two usually rather petite orderlies hang on to my wrists and head for dear life. I once did reach and the orderlies put much of their weight on my head and wrists; after which one exclaimed “I didn’t even need to hold his wrists!” I don’t have a gag reflex. I tell the team “If I were gay, I’d have a happy husband!”
I was in the same frame of mind as nomadiq at 28, when I had my first one just after my 50th birthday (happy birthday to me). It was very weird in that I had never known the feeling before of a definite physical thing moving around inside my guts. I don’t like anesthesia, and it was very interesting to watch — live! — a camera’s view of my (thankfully) squeaky clean colon*.
But for the second one, when I turned 60, I did choose to be out because in the intervening years, I’d had back surgery, four times. Luckily, I was still free of even the tiniest issue.
*And I was thankful for all the hassle and indignity and discomfort of having gone through the prep. No one had to look at what is usually in there. It all looked brand new, right out of the lab!
Tell the Doctor to tell your wife that they didtn’t find your head.
My doctor recommended Cologuard.
His words: “You poop in a box”.
There’s no prep.