If you’re wondering where I’m at

This morning, I wrote an obituary and contacted a probate lawyer, so that’s where I’m at. I did post a video that I’d mostly written last week, and this morning I’m going to spend some quiet time feeding the spiders.

I’m also actively avoiding human contact, but that’s mostly normal for me.

My sisters have been gathering photos for a memorial service next week. Here’s Mom in the 1950s with her beau:

And the last photo I have of her, looking dignified and a bit tired:


  1. says

    PZ, I wish you and your family peace and strength at a difficult time. I went through the same process when my mother of 97 years passed away in April. Please take all the time away you need with your family.

  2. jacksprocket says

    Almost a quarter of a century since my mother died, and she’s still with me every day (no, not an idea for a Tom Lehrer song…). Get through the hard work and pass on the memory to the grandkids.

  3. pacal says

    My Condolences. And your right your mother looks dignified and composed.


  4. Doc Bill says

    Having gone through that process a few times, even bringing suit against a family member, we got our act together last year by updating our wills and going through an estate planning/distribution process with an experienced estate law firm. We put it off for the longest time but once we started working with our legal eagles it was pretty straightforward and painless.

    Straightforward. That was my Diff E Q professor’s favorite word. We hated it.

  5. says

    Sorry for your loss. Definitely take all the time you need to deal with all that unavoidable business. And know that your mom seemed to have lived a pretty full, interesting and good life in the time she had.

  6. says

    Condolences, PZ. I’m going through the exact same thing right now. We lost Mom to pancreatic cancer this past Saturday evening. We knew it was coming. We were preparing as well as can be expected, but it’s never enough. The previous week she was more or less fine. So much so that my brother went on a 2-week vacation. A few days later, she could no longer get out of bed, then stopped eating…then drinking…then finally simply stopped breathing while she was sleeping. I like to hope that it was peaceful for her, but I guess you never really know.

  7. StevoR says

    Thinking of you. So sorry. I know no words will suffice. Is there anything any of us commenters here can do to help?

  8. StevoR says

    @ ^ drksky : My condolence s to you and your friends and family too. Words inadequate.

  9. wajim says

    Words inadequate, indeed. And yet all we have. Your Mom was a beauty. Your Dad in the photo reminds me of a young Kurt Russel. Must be why you’re so handsome PZ.

  10. Jazzlet says

    My condolences and my sympathy to you PZ and to drksky, take the time you need as others have said, we will be here when you are ready for more posts. I am glad you are able to enjoy your spiders and I hope those egg sacks behave themselves producing the spiderlings only when you have time to care for them.

  11. gijoel says

    Echoing Crip Dyke, take your time. Grief is a process that takes as long as it needs to. I hated my father, and yet I still grieved when he died. I can’t imagine what you’re going through.

  12. magistramarla says

    Condolences to you and your family, PZ.
    My husband went through the job of executor when we lost his mother in 2006. That was probably the worst part of it.
    His three brothers didn’t make it any easier on him, and Mom had everything well-prepared.
    That is why we’re working on getting everything updated and set down in some iron-clad paperwork.
    That way our five fractious offspring won’t have anything that they can argue about. (We hope!)
    I hope that everything goes well for you. Take time to grieve and take care of yourself.

  13. says

    Hope you’re doing ok, PZ. We all grieve in our own way, or so my partner tells me. It’s been just over a year since my dad passed away so I got a taste of that. I wasn’t as involved as my siblings though, being across the country from the rest of the family. I had to fly out for the service. My main contribution was tech support and reading a eulogy.

    They did also collect some music he liked to play at the service in addition to photos. That may or may not work for you too.

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