1. christoph says

    Good thinking! Most people are more afraid of spiders than of guns.
    Yes, I know that’s irrational.

  2. dobby says

    Years ago some friends with very expensive audio equipment put up a sign saying this property defended by attack rats. Nobody ever tried to break in.

  3. Tethys says

    Needs more spiders and fewer words.

    DANGER- contains Black Widows
    With a lovely picture of your pets as illustration.

  4. birgerjohansson says

    If you stated you have Australian spiders it would certainly keep me away.

  5. gijoel says

    @5 Only two species of Australian spiders have the capacity to kill humans. The last person to die from a spider bite in Australia was in 1979.

    Australia has way deadlier animals that spiders. Horses oddly enough.

  6. says

    So, if you turn your friends loose on an intruder, you’ll be using the castle doctrine as your defense after the intruder is found a couple days later hanging upside-down from a tree in your yard, wrapped in silk?

  7. birgerjohansson says

    Gijoel@ 7
    My mistake. We need Australian attack horses. And while we are about it, Australian land sharks. Yes, I know most sharks are wimps and usually just nibble a bit on humans so you you need to feed them steroids.

  8. christoph says

    @birgerjohansson, #9: Steroids make your gonads shrink. You wouldn’t do that to a shark, would you?

  9. bcw bcw says

    How do you make spiders aggressive other than coating your victim with live grasshoppers?

    Now, praying mantis, them guys are scary.

  10. says


    No steroids necessary — just preparing for the bar exam gives all of the same results without any injections. Not excluding the sociopathic-edging-toward-psychopathic side effects… or maybe those are features, not bugs.

  11. birgerjohansson says

    Walter Solomon @10
    I like the “cassovaries” idea, but how do you make them thrive in Minnesota winters? Drop bears will at least need an inner fur coat, like wolves have. And feed them human flesh, like the orchs of Isengard.

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