The Onion is thriving

I think one sign that you’re in a dystopia is when satire really takes off — so many targets! So much mindless evil to ridicule! The Onion is in that niche right now.

Following a series of transphobic comments by the Harry Potter author, the nation’s top evangelical leaders announced Monday that J.K. Rowling had finally become bigoted enough to make it okay for kids to read about witchcraft. “While I always appreciated Ms. Rowling making the greedy banker goblins a thinly veiled stand-in for the Jews, it is only with her assertions that trans women aren’t women that I’ve finally come around to allowing children to read her books,” said evangelist and Focus on the Family president Jim Daly, explaining that while he still did not approve of the satanic imagery embedded throughout the Harry Potter series, Rowling’s consistent dehumanization of people who are different from her had prompted him to reconsider. “I understand that her tacitly justifying slavery though the depictions of house elves was meant as an olive branch, but now, with her steadfast commitment to demonizing trans people, she has finally won us over. And look, I’m not thrilled about the idea of my children potentially learning spells, but I’m willing to overlook that considering one of the only Asian characters in the entire franchise is named Cho Chang.” At press time, Harry Potter received a full-throated endorsement from evangelicals for introducing an entirely new set of bigoted slurs to explain half-magic and non-magic people.

I guess JK Rowling has also slithered down into a comfortable niche for herself, as well: beloved bigot.


  1. robro says

    Can’t see the Onion piece, but wonder if it’s spinning off the dust up over the NY Times article on February 16th titled “In Defense of J.K. Rowling.” I haven’t read the Times article, but apparently there’s been reaction to it. Even Fox News has a chance to angrily chastise “angry liberals” for criticizing the NY Times over defending a prominent angry person.

  2. Artor says

    In my head canon, Hagrid has always been trans. But honestly, I don’t give Rowling’s work that much attention. It was always mediocre or worse.

  3. says

    It blows my mind that Joanne would hop into bed with the same people who would happily burn her books but here we are.

    On a slightly positive note: I have noticed that any Wizarding World items at my Costco don’t sell as well as MCU, DC, or Jurassic World items; her book “The Christmas Pig” that came out a couple of years ago didn’t move as quickly as I expected. She might want to start saving her residuals because she might not be getting them for long.

  4. Trickster Goddess says

    A few days earlier The Onion had another great article: It Is Journalism’s Sacred Duty To Endanger The Lives Of As Many Trans People As Possible

    Good journalism is about finding those stories, even when they don’t exist. It’s about asking the tough questions and ignoring the answers you don’t like, then offering misleading evidence in service of preordained editorial conclusions.

    Research shows that trans people are over four times more likely than cisgender people to be the victim of a violent crime. We salute our colleagues across the media who are working tirelessly to make that number even higher.

  5. birgerjohansson says

    From “The Onion”:
    “Good journalism is about finding those stories, even when they don’t exist”

  6. birgerjohansson says

    And here is the headline for the link:
    “Evangelical leaders announce J K Rowling finally bigot enough that it’s okay for kids to read about witchcraft “

  7. cheerfulcharlie says

    Meanwhile, the latest Gallup poll tells us 7.2% of Americans identify as LGQB. “Don’t Say Gay” doesn’t seem to be working.