Musk is on trial right now!


Now he only wants to buy it to ban photos like this one.

How exciting! The court hearing in which Twitter argues for a fast-track trial, while Musk begs for time to dawdle and make jokes and trash-talk is happening right this minute!

Twitter Inc’s (TWTR.N) showdown with Elon Musk over his $44 billion takeover faces its first test on Tuesday, when a judge will weigh the company’s bid for a fast-tracked trial which it says it needs to ensure deal financing doesn’t come unraveled.

The San Francisco-based company is seeking to resolve months of uncertainty for its business as Musk tries to walk away from the deal over what he says are Twitter’s “spam” accounts that he says are fundamental to its value.

Wait, did I say “exciting”? I don’t think that’s the right word for a sense of dread combined with disgust at billionaires. Is there a good word for that? It would be very useful.

I think I want Twitter to win this round, so that the agony isn’t prolonged, and so Musk gets a preliminary slap in the face. But I don’t want Musk to be compelled to buy Twitter, because he’d just wreck it worse than it already is. The ideal ultimate solution would be if eventually Musk is let off the hook but has to pay a tremendous “fuck around and find out” penalty: a few billion to Twitter, and many billions more to public service, like a windfall to public libraries, for instance. Just dreaming here.


@Kolyin is live tweeting the hearing, if you want to follow along.


The hearing is over. The judge essentially decided in favor of Twitter, scheduling the big battle for 5 days in October. Man, I wish the lawsuit against us could have been resolved so speedily (yeah, that’s speedy for a trial.)

Comments

  1. Artor says

    I’m blind! I didn’t think anyone could match skin tones with a white terry cloth towel better than me, but it’s really hard to tell where Musk stops and Egyptian cotton starts.

  2. ardipithecus says

    “Wait, did I say “exciting”? I don’t think that’s the right word for a sense of dread combined with disgust at billionaires. Is there a good word for that? It would be very useful.”

    Bilious comes to mind.

  3. Pierce R. Butler says

    Best possible outcome: Musk buys TwitCorp, opens it up to trolls, kills it dead.

    Somebody with a sense of restraint sets up a better short-form social media service, moderates it well, all live happily ever after.

    Oh, and shareholders revolt, take over Tesla, SpaceX, StarLink, &c; exile Musk to some penthouse forever.

  4. drsteve says

    “The insurance business is completely screwy now. You know they’ve reintroduced the death penalty for insurance company directors?”
    “Really?” said Arthur. “No, I didn’t. For what offence?”
    Trillian frowned.
    “What do you mean, offence?”

  5. says

    I love seeing that man suffer. Elon Musk is a parasite. He didn’t found Tesla he BOUGHT Tesla. He has no real talent, he HIRES talent. He’s just another old money asshole. Another Teflon Don. No matter how much shit you throw at him nothing sticks.

  6. gcstroop says

    Love him or hate him, it’s shitty for people to body shame him. Yes, the richest man in the world could probably afford a tanning booth and a personal trainer, but making fun of someone over their body is not cool.

    I’ve worked very hard my whole adult life to achieve the body I want. During that time, I’ve seen countless people from all walks of life come to the gym and quit. People will literally lose their desire to get healthier because it seems insurmountable, or they see examples of people being shamed, and think that’s what all the fit people at the gym are thinking.

    Oddly, it’s usually those with less flattering physiques themselves who dish out the unflattering remarks, and hide behind “I look disgusting so I can judge this person.”

    I want everyone to be as healthy as possible and I don’t think it’s right for anyone to be blasted for their body: even scumbags like Trump shouldn’t have their appearances blasted. It’s just not healthy.

  7. says

    @10
    I don’t give a flying fuck how he looks. He’s a useless talentless leach on society. He’s the antithesis of meritocracy. His only “talent” is paying people to do his thinking for him. The idea of body shaming him never crossed my mind. He’s guilty of far worse than just being pale.

  8. raven says

    But I don’t want Musk to be compelled to buy Twitter, because he’d just wreck it worse than it already is.

    Musk would wreck twitter.
    He just wants to make it into another right wingnut toxic website.

    Twitter AFAICT, actually serves a purpose. A lot of people use it to communicate worthwhile information. I even read tweets from time to time and find it useful.
    Facebook OTOH, became a toxic swamp and is a net negative for the world. A good idea gone way wrong.

  9. sqlrob says

    @5:

    Somebody with a sense of restraint sets up a better short-form social media service, moderates it well, all live happily ever after.

    That already exists as mastodon. The problem isn’t creating the service, the problem is making it well known.

  10. PaulBC says

    birgerjohannson@7

    “What can smug Australians teach the UK about surviving a heatwave?”

    I have an ancestor who was an actor and playwright and traveled to Australia from San Francisco in the 1850s. His memoirs contain significant confabulation (there are cases where they contradict available newspaper records) but his description of the heat stuck in my mind even if I’m pretty sure the specifics are impossible.

    One night after a performance, I awoke with a stifling feeling. I really thought it was death. As the gray dawn approached I arose, dressed myself, and was about to go outside to get a bit of fresh air, when by boarding-house keeper, an old actor, met me at the door. “Go back” said he, “the only way to escape this hell is to keep indoors, Mac.” “Why” I asked. “Oh” he replied, “we have it about every four or five years. It comes from the interior – the gum trees have been burning for two days. Why, the thermometer shows 130 in the shade.” And sure enough it did. Over four thousand sheep in the Colony of Victoria died from the excessive heat and resembled pieces of black leather. “How long is it to last?” I asked. “Maybe a week” he said. I saw then that my time had come to leave the Colony of Victoria in general and Geelong in particular. I made up my mind quickly. True, I was in the bill of the night for two parts, but my life was of more consequence.

    He was on the next boat (in violation of contract) as soon as he could get one. That was over 150 years ago when there was a lot less human-produced CO2 in the atmosphere.

  11. PaulBC says

    Musk clearly believes he’s above the law, that he can say and do anything he wants as the “richest man in the world”, and people are supposed to think it’s cute. Unfortunately, the US doesn’t seem very interested in disabusing him of this belief.

  12. jrkrideau says

    @ 15 PaulBC

    . His memoirs contain significant confabulation (there are cases where they contradict available newspaper records)

    Well, a lot of newspapers back then were not exactly totally accurate—had a tenuous grasp on reality? May have had Boris Johnson as a reporter? So I would not dismiss your ancestor’s writings too quickly.

  13. John Morales says

    Were I a hectobillionire, I would not worry too much about what the plebs thought about me. Perhaps Musk does worry about such things, but I really doubt that.

    So I guess no harm is done by whinging about his antics.

  14. chigau (違う) says

    gcstroop #10
    If you “want everyone to be as healthy as possible” don’t suggest they go to a gym.

  15. chigau (違う) says

    John Morales, you already don’t care what the lesser beings think of you.

  16. says

    Quite frankly, I want both sides to lose, and lose big. Above all, I REALLY don’t want Musk to buy Twitter, and I really hope the court does what I’ve been taught courts normally do in cases like this: not compel specific performance and just take everything back to where it was before the deal was made, more or less.

    In this case, wasn’t there a $1B or so penalty for skipping out on the deal? Why can’t the court just enforce that clause? That’s what it’s there for, right?

    The Twitter owners are an absolute disgrace here: “The zillionaire asshole promised to buy us! You have to make him buy us out and take over our company! No one else was ever gonna pay what the zillionaire offered, so please make him buy us ’cause we’ll never be able to find us another sucker, PLEEEEAAAASE!!!” Screw those fools, and screw Musk too.

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