I have learned the appropriate response to an invitation to a “gender reveal” party.
A mortifying disaster of epic, reputation ruining proportions was avoided by a Waterford couple after friends and family intervened to successfully reason with them, WWN can reveal.
Sarah and Michael Corkley (both 26) had circulated the idea they intended to have a ‘gender reveal party’ following the happy news Sarah was pregnant with the couple’s first child. However, the idea was labeled at best ‘a load of American horlicks’ and at worst ‘would you two eejits ever cop on to yourself before you ruin the Corkley name for generations to come’ by those closest to them.
“I flat out pretended I’ve never heard of that awful ‘reveal’ shite when they told me. I told them I’d march straight into the hospital and steal the scan and tell them the baby’s gender if they didn’t wise up,” Sarah mother Jackie explained to WWN.
I have no idea what “horlicks” are, but it sounds about right to me.
Unfortunately, I’ve never had the opportunity to turn down such an invitation, since my relatives, friends, and colleagues all seem to be level-headed intelligent people who would similarly recoil at the idea of putting on such a silly spectacle.
(literally a brand name for a kind of (revolting) hot milky bedtime drink; but actually used as a euphemism for bollocks)
whoever called it a load of horlicks certainly had it right :-)
A proper gender reveal party should always result in a Californian forest fire. Which is why I give them a pass.
WWN is an Irish equivalent of The Onion. It’s a parody site.
Literally a brand name for a kind of (revolting) hot milky bedtime drink.
That is literally word for word what I was going to write,you gobshite.
Just kidding on the last bit.
The Irish-isms are a bit strong for this to be legit, so they are. Fully agree with the sentiment though, I’ll have to check this site out.
Schnitzel Von Knobbschafft says
Am I the only one who read those reactions in an Irish accent in their head?
Waterford Whispers News (WWN) is an Irish satirical news website run by Colm Williamson and based in Tramore, County Waterford, Ireland. The site has been called Ireland’s answer to U.S. satirical media company, The Onion, and has been the source of several satirical articles that gained international notability, including: North Korea Lands First Ever Man On The Sun, Confirms Central News Agency, and “Jesus Not Coming Back By The Looks Of It” Admits Vatican.
myeck waters says
Horlicks is virtually identical to the malted milk powder that you put into a milkshake to make it a malt. Not great in milk, but yummy in ice cream. Go figure.
PZ Myers says
Honestly, I could tell it was a satire site. It’s still amusing.
If only right-wingers would learn that “satire” involves a bit of a sense of humor. They always forget that bit.
I realize being compassionate about a cause may make one’s satire meter out of whack, and that it’s always easy to assume everyone else’s meter is more out of whack than yours, but lets give people a little credit. This is satire and water is wet and things fall down when you drop them.
@4 davidc1 ::tips hat in a proudly gobshiteresque manner:: slàinte 🥃😎
(death to all horlicks🔪☕🪓)
@11 Thanks,glad to see you took it in good spirits,on faceache I would have been banned for posting that.
@2…in fact that picture PZ used is actually the one that started an Arizona wildfire , one that burned 47,000 acres, and left the child’s dad on the hook for $8 million in restitution :
Now if we could start a fire with Horlicks during a gender reveal party….
Kathi Rick says
i fucking LOVE Horlick’s and hot milk!!!!!!! I like to eat it dry too! YUM!!!!!!!!
@13 I bet the kids birthdays are a bit strained in that household.
Just had a look at the link,the proud father agreed to make an initial payment of $100,000 and then monthly
payments.Don’t know what they are,but the poor sod will be paying out for the rest of his life.
And I bet Junior won’t be going to college.
Here’s the good bit: Horlicks really is American!
From Chicago – it’s even mid-western like the Prof!
Abe Drayton says
Most people I’ve met since coming here have been wonderful.
That said, I’ve also found fascist stickers on signposts, and more recently a sticker with a Milton Friedman quote
Satire or not, the idiots falling for the monetisational “gender reveal” mindvirus don’t know what they are missing. We didn’t want to know the apparent biological sex/ gender of our two kids- it was much more fun having two names ready (Tom/ Tamsin for one) then phoning round (pre web/ cellphone days) at a silly hour to tell parents and mates about our surprise package.
For me, “gender reveal” was when I discovered that when you take a nappy off a boy, always hold your hand in front of you. Otherwise you might get soaked by a little golden fountain.