My Xmas breakfast

My wife has us on this Zoe nutrition test, as I mentioned yesterday. Today we’re on a tightly constrained dietary test: we have a supply of muffins we have to eat on a fixed schedule, with intermittent fasting, while the glucose meter installed in my flesh records my responses, and then later today I have to do a blood test. Funzies!

I had to eat three of these within 15 minutes.

They have the texture and taste of foam rubber. It’s not a flavor I associate with Christmas — maybe I should have sprinkled them with nutmeg and cinnamon? Nah, that would violate the experimental protocol.

Now I’m instructed to fast for four hours, and then I get more muffins!

I hate this. Where’s my lefse and krumkake?

Even lutefisk would be better than this!


  1. blf says

    I suppose I shouldn’t mention that, at the moment, in-between typos, I’m munching on fresh nut-bread with several cheeses… so I won’t mention it. Not mentioned. Nope… not mentioned at all.

  2. blf says

    Well, that was embarrassing… Tonight’s vin was in a wax-sealed bottle, the opening of which has always flummoxed me. The wax doesn’t cut or peel away easy, and bits of the wax always seem to going flying off everywhere. So tonight, after cutting away most of wax and opening the bottle, I got the bright idea of using this new-fangled ‘net thingy to learn how to open such bottles. And the answer is — “push your corkscrew through the wax as-if it was not there, pull the cork slightly, wipe away any wax, and then pull the cork completely” (paraphrasing multiple sites). Duh!

  3. maireaine46 says

    That health test is the worst Christmas present ever. You are already depressed, what was she thinking??

  4. kestrel says

    Will have to agree to disagree about the lutefisk. Personally, I would actually far prefer to eat the foam rubber instead.

    Must say though, those look really unappealing. Who came up with that recipe? I mean, hooray for science and all that, but still… Yikes.

  5. davidc1 says

    Lutefisk,is that the stuff they bury in the ground for a few months,then you dig it up and eat it?

  6. birgerjohansson says

    Since hakarl sharks can live 150- 200 years I suppose you can use the food as symbols for longevity.

  7. bodach says

    Well, Merry Christmas anyway.
    With what you’ve said in the past, I’m pretty sure your wife still loves you but yuck.

  8. davidc1 says

    Just had a look on Wikipedia,it seems a lot of trouble to prepare
    What does it taste like?Is it worth all the time and effort?

  9. cag says

    Lutfisk (Swedish spelling) evokes memories, all, shall we say, less than pleasant. As I approach my 80th, I still have not tasted it but I have certainly smelled it. Every Christmas I would try to find a location in the house that didn’t reek of lutfisk. Mercaptan, you’ve met your match.

  10. wsierichs says

    I remember reading once that the record for eating those particular muffins was 4 in 25 minutes. You should try to break the record by forcing 5 down your throat in 25 minutes. You would go in the Guinness Brook of Records!

  11. birgerjohansson says

    Lutefisk gets all its taste from the sauce and spices. With the right ingredients it is at least endurable.
    It is a relic from the Catholic tradition of not eating non-fish meat certain parts of the year, so the people ate fish that had been conserved in the manners available with medieval technology.

  12. birgerjohansson says

    Controversial food: Fermented herring that has been pre-filleted is OK. But the smell- an inhetent aspect of fermentation- will forever make it an aquired taste.
    And oysters and certain other sea foods have a texture I find somewhat problematic.

  13. birgerjohansson says

    There is a lot of research into veggie alternatives to meat, but mimcking the texture and taste of food we are used to is non-trivial. Also, here in Sweden the price for those substitutes is higher than “meat” meat and this hinders a transition.

  14. simonhadley says

    @12: Reminds me of the MRE cracker challenge where you try to eat the entire thing in under two minutes with no water. I’ve eaten food from all around the world and have never encountered anything dryer than those things. They make sawdust seem positively juicy.

  15. blf says

    birgerjohansson, I’ve had fermented herring — my companions thought I was crazy (er, crazier than normal) — and there’s a chance a new-ish shop here in my village (in S.France) might have some, as they specialise in foods from that region. Semi-jokingly, I “blame” the Russian oligarchs who get their superyachts serviced hereabouts for such a locally-unusual shop.

    The stuff with a horrible texture — none at all, it’s just a lump — and taste — also none at all, it’s a tasteless lump — is not the slimy oyster but the vicious pea.

    A few weeks ago I tried one of those non-meat “meats” prepared by a local vegan restaurant / take-away, a “Tex-Mex burger” as I recall. It wasn’t bad, and I’d try another, but yeah, the texture and taste were noticeably different.

  16. blf says

    Re (me)@3, As it so happens, tonight’s vin was also in a wax-sealed bottle. So I tried that newly-learned-about trick, and it works great. Another important mystery solved !