I am so disappointed. I just got home from the lab and the first thing I had to check was whether John F. Kennedy Jr had shown up in Texas.
He did not.
It turns out his father was also supposed to appear. He did not.
You know who else was a no-show?
The Dallas QAnon believers had become convinced the Kennedys would unveil themselves on Nov. 2 around 12:30 PM Central time, right around the timing of Kennedy’s assassination. But they then began to add on other dead celebrities, convinced that they, too, would appear, having faked their deaths to avoid the deep state.
They began to pick out random people they encountered in the Dallas area as celebrities in disguise, claiming one man was comedian Robin Williams and another comedian Richard Pryor.
“I just can’t wait to see Kobe Bryant!” the new woman said.
The list of returning celebrities grew long, coming to include not just the Kennedys, Bryant, and Williams, but also actress Debbie Reynolds and racecar driver Dale Earnhardt.
“Yes, there’s been a rapper here, we’re not sure of his name,” said one man livestreaming from Dallas.
“Tupac, maybe?” asked one helpful listener.
None of them showed up, which may have been a good thing given one concern.
One Dallas resident pointed out that no parade permits had been obtained for the parade of dead celebrities that was supposed to follow on Tuesday afternoon.
Yes, I’m sure that would have been embarrassing if the cops turned up to hand out tickets to John F. Kennedy, his son Jr, Robin Williams, Richard Pryor, Kobe Bryant, Debbie Reynolds, Dale Earnhardt, and Tupac.
What? No love for Biggie Smalls?