There are a thousand stories in that mob of insufferable insurrectionists who stormed the capitol on 6 January. This is one of them.
The picture ought to be enough, but I’ll fill in a few details. That’s a guy dressed up as Captain Moroni, a figure from the Book of Mormon. His flag reads, IN MEMORY OF OUR GOD, OUR RELIGION, AND FREEDOM, AND OUR PEACE, OUR WIVES, AND OUR CHILDREN. ALMA 46:12
. The FBI had absolutely no problem tracking this absurd wanker down, and he has been arrested. His real name is Nathan Wayne Entrekin. He bragged about showing up in costume, and despite the flag blustering about his wives, he also recorded video on his phone addressing his mother.
I made it Mom. I made it to the top. Mom, look, I made it to the top, to the top here. Look at all the patriots here. Haha, if I can make it up that, anybody can. [laughs] Oh man. Look at all the patriots here. Patriots, patriots, patriots. Look at all the people, Mom. Look at all that down there. And the monuments over there, way over there. I gotta catch my breath here. Sorry. Haha.
[yelling to an unseen protester] Captain Moroni! Same fight, same place, different time. 76 B.C.!
I’m here for Trump. Four more years, Donald Trump! Our rightful president! I made it to the relative top, anyway. Oh my gosh, how many of us are here? Must be like, millions. Couple million, maybe. I keep running into trees, though. I gotta get this first, though, before my costume falls off me. Check this out, Mom. All those people.
Being raised in religion doesn’t help one distinguish fact from fiction, does it? The Book of Mormon was a fantasy story scribbled up by a 19th century con artist, and Captain Moroni has about as much basis in reality as Captain America or Captain Marvel or Captain Planet or Captain Caveman or Captain Underpants.
Of course, he also parrots the racist bullshit the Mormons have always believed.
I am Captain Moroni. I am the William Wallace of the Book of Mormon. In the Book of Alma of the Book of Mormon, a freedom fighter named Captain Moroni fought for his freedom against the King-Men. He was a Freeman, part of the Freemen movement. And around, I like to say 76 B.C. because 1776 sounds so—is so popular—but before Christ came to Jerusalem, in this land, the Book of Mormon is about this land, right? The same fight for freedom, this land, the same land, right here, upon which we stand, the native American Indians they have Jewish DNA, descent. I can tell you about, you can Google that, the Algonquin Indians have Native American, have, uh, Jewish descent in their DNA, there’s evidence of the Book of Mormon. I don’t want to get too much into that. I’m here for freedom. You’re here for freedom. Captain Moroni ripped his coat and he wrote this message right here. And if I can get it open, it says …
The rioters weren’t sending their best. But then, we knew that all along.
Captain Moroni, eh?
Can’t argue with that.
Actually, as far as sending their best goes, I think the rioters were. That’s the frightening part…
On the other hand, 76BC is only three years out from an actual famous slave revolt (that of Spartacus) which provides endless possibilities for historically accurate Roman-styled cosplay.
Somehow I think this guy would be on the side of Marcus Licinius Crassus though – the Trump of his day.
It should be Doctor Captain Moroni.
In his youth he was a friend of Jor-El but he went to the Dark Side.
.
Another story: a white rioter who thought they were storming the White House when they were storming the Capitol building has gotten away with house arrest as the judge considered him too stupid for prison.
Imagine if this had been a guy from Antifa…
To be played by Mel Gibson in the upcoming docudrama/comedy about Jan 6. Also a docudrama/comedy about Jan 6 is a thing that needs to happen. Maybe with Mike Judge (ala Idocracy) directing.
No they don’t.
The evidence for two tribes of Jews in ancient North America fighting it out over whatever is nonexistent.
According to the book of Mormon, the Native Americans are Lamanites and god turned their skin dark because they were bad people.
According to Mormon belief (up until recently and maybe even today) if they become Mormons and good people their skin turns lighter.
To be fair, the current Mormon leadership has been walking this doctrine back for decades now.
Made it ma! Top of the world!
Hanged, drawn and quartered for leading a failed insurrection?
Enjoy the smell of your testicles roasting on the coals, Captain Moron.
(voices heard from within the rioting crowd)
“-They took our jobs!”
“Blame Canada!”
“Mr. Gibson, please stop throwing feces!”
@6 Raven
the current Mormon leadership has been walking this doctrine back
Yeah ever since BYU decided to field a basket ball team. Turns out people with dark skin are good at basketball.
In memory of our god and our religion? We should be so lucky….
The rioters were sending their best. This was it.
On the one hand, I do feel bad for all the people who have been brainwashed into religion or conservatism. If you were raised in a highly religious or a deeply conservative environment, you had the deck stacked against you in terms of growing up to be able to face reality head on. That’s tough, and I do feel bad. And even the converted, the born-agains, I can sympathize with having experienced enough life stress to make one vulnerable enough to be preyed upon by the vultures in organized religion, cults, and political extremist conspiracy circles.
On the other hand, once you’ve been exposed to reality, you have a moral obligation to accept it, to reflect upon your own views and to bring your views into alignment with what the evidence shows. And these people clearly were exposed to reality, turned on their heels, and sprinted in the opposite direction with a shit-eating grin on their face.
So, while I feel bad that they were just used as pawns in the bullshit games of the Rupert Murdochs, Tucker Carlsons, Ted Cruzes, and Mitch McConnells of the country, I don’t feel bad that they’re getting arrested, facing another crisis of confidence in the world as their Dear Leader(tm) has abandoned them, and that they are still choosing to cling to their fantasies instead of face reality even a little bit. I hope they all get put away for a long time into a rehabilitative environment to deprogram them. I’m only sad that the Tucker Carlsons and Ted Cruzes aren’t being arrested alongside them.
The story he’s referencing is about a conspiracy to overthrow the legitimate government and install a tyrant in its place. He isn’t the character he thinks he is in this
cartomancer @ # 4: … Marcus Licinius Crassus though – the Trump of his day.
How so? Crassus succeeded in many (most?) of his major enterprises.
He can’t even spell Moron.
My first reaction upon seeing that picture was: “YABBA DABBA DOOOOOO!!!!!!!!”
(I hope y’all remember Fred Flintstone…)
They can’t count too well, either. “Federal officials estimate that about ten thousand rioters entered the Capitol grounds, and more than 800 breached the building.” — Wikipedia. Estimates for the rally beforehand are about 30,000.
Looks like a rejected extra from the set of “Xena: Warrior Princess”.
“To of the world, Ma!”
Captain Moronic, surely?
all around the mulberry bush the monkey chased the weasel, the monkey thought it was all in fun
pop! goes the weasel
cartomancer@2
They certainly sent the most gullible. Then again, critical thinking is not something that is cultivated among the ranks of conspiracy theorists.