Sex toy or religious artifact?

It’s a bit of a tossup.

Either way, I don’t want it anywhere near me. Yuck.


  1. says

    When I visited Lantau Island in (?2002?) they gave me an amazing little box that consists of a 9-volt battery holder and a little on/volume switch. Turn it on and it starts droning an endlessly looping buddhist prayer. It seems to synchronize somehow – if you turn it off for 5 seconds, it resumes 5 seconds into the loop. The thing has been without batteries many times and it still works fine. It also has a headphone jack, so I used to sometimes patch it into my mixing board alongside my MC-505 groovebox and let the groovebox do drum and bass accompaniment. I think it cost me $5. It was a great deal.

    So now I am thinking I need to find some facial animation library, and upload some of the audio loop and sync it so I can have a singing 3D badger doing the loop. Lemme go buy a box of incense.

  2. davidc1 says

    Likely to do well in those red states where the repubs watch the most online porn .
    “Praise the lord
    and pas the KY Jelly “

  3. Akira MacKenzie says

    Oh no… I just had a horrible thought: If the new Dune adaptation get’s popular, then there will be a porn parody.

    Imagine a XXX version of the Gom Jabbar scene. It’s not going to be Paul’s hand that goes into the box.

  4. says

    Akira MacKenzie:
    Oh no… I just had a horrible thought: If the new Dune adaptation get’s popular, then there will be a porn parody.

    I’d probably buy a copy. Just to support the arts, you know?
    I think a musical version has potential, too, especially if it was Gilbert and Sullivan-esque

  5. komarov says

    As an empiricist I see immediate applications. You train a bunch of these things on various but separate religions, run them for a year, break them for a bit, fix them and check the log files to see which AIs went to heaven – because obviously the praise-singing would resume once the late AI arrives in its respective afterlife. If the file contains nothing but agonised screaming, well, that would be valuable data, too. Now I’d better get cracking on that papal research grant.

  6. bcwebb says

    @5 & @6 so what would the sandworms be in Dune porn?

    Gotta say I wouldn’t want to be a participant – sand would get in everywhere.

  7. René says

    @myself in #16. Damn, I missed the chance of italicizing my ellipsis. I love the look of full stops italicized in the evening.

  8. unclefrogy says

    I love it, puts prayer on display as only modern art could without having to spell everything out in long walls of text.
    The look is interesting, intriguing, and disturbing all at once!
    uncle frogy

  9. says

    @timgueguen: I have one fully operational and 2 parts spares. Also a fully operational 303 and a parts spare. I sold the DX7 last year but the grooveboxes… I’ll always have room for those.

  10. PaulBC says

    Billy Bass meets Fleshlight. Shame on you for making me think of that! :)

    But there is something about that head that makes me think it could be the internals of an animatronic Lovecraftian Deep One. What’s with the fin-like cranial ridge?

  11. nomdeplume says

    I guess you could get it to “speak in tongues” by adding a random word generator. That would extend the market a bit…